Are you newly married? Did you finally get to the wedding day, and now you are considered newlyweds? The following is a way to look at your new marriage:
“Here’s a good Motto to live by for the bride and groom [and beyond]: We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.” (Phyllis Koss)
Amen? I think so. Too many couples think that the ultimate goal of getting married is to walk down the aisle, say our “I do’s” to each other. And then we think we will walk hand-in-hand together for the rest of our lives. That may GET us married, but that won’t help us to stay married. (The divorce statistics show us all too well.) And even if we stay married, that doesn’t mean that we have a marriage that is “good” —especially by God’s standards where we reveal and reflect the love of Christ to each other and to those around us.
Concerning Newlyweds and Beyond
I agree with something Charlie Shedd wrote:
“Marriage may be ‘made in heaven’ in the original. But the whole deal is more like one of those kits, which come knocked down for putting together. It will take some gluing here, sanding rough spots there, and hammering a bit now. It will take filing down the scratches on this side, planning a bit on that side, and carving a piece. Plus, it takes bending this section slightly, varnishing, and backing off for a frequent look. There is also dusting, waxing, and polishing, until at last what you have is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.”
What’s sad is that too many of us bail out before we get to the “beauty” part of marriage. Steve and I almost did that years ago. When times get really tough, it’s tempting to say, “I’ve had enough!”
But I can testify that for many of us who dug down deeper and persevered, the “work in progress” can pay off BIG TIME! My husband and I can testify after 46+ years of marriage that we’re more in love now than ever before. But to get to that place, we had to work hard, just as Charlie Shedd mentioned above. We still work at it.
The work is best done in subjecting ourselves to God working on us as individuals. He helps us get rid of the stuff that we dragged into the marriage.
Chiseling Away at the Hurtful Baggage
Steve and I both came with extra baggage that needed to be worked through. Sometimes we needed God to chisel away at that, which causes division between us. And I can tell you that the process of chiseling can hurt while it’s taking place. But afterward, it’s SO worth it!
I believe you will find the following Skit Guys piece inspiring. It can help you to allow God to work on you and in you. Perhaps that’s what He wants to do in some aspect of your life and your marriage.
As newlyweds, some of the work needs to be done on your own “stuff.” And some of the work that needs to be done requires both of you to participate. Below is a link to a great list of decisions you can work on together that will set your marriage off in a good direction. We think this is a great list that you should talk about and then implement in your own marriage. Please read:
Also, here’s another link to an article that can help you prioritize what’s really important in marriage. We recommend you read:
The following is our prayer for you. In your life and in your marriage:
“May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will. And may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.