Watch out for parasites in your marriage!
“A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love.
“Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you.” (From The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples written for couples by Stephen and Alex Kendrick)
Parasites in Marriage
The Kendrick brothers name a few of the obvious “parasites.” But there are a lot of additional ones we need to be aware of, which can eat away at marriages. Please prayerfully consider if you have one or more of these parasites sucking the life out of your relationship: A biggie is technology (phones, computers, Facebook, notebooks, and such). It can be super invasive!
It seems like every time we turn around, we see someone else stuck with his or her face into their phone, ignoring their spouse who is right there next to them. (There are times though, that he or she is also on their phones or iPads.) The distracted energy spent can easily steal away precious time that can be invested into their marriage relationship.
Technology and Gadgets are Addicting
We have to be careful of technology ourselves. It’s all too easy to get caught up in spending more time on gadgets, than with each other. So be careful. If your spouse complains that too much time is being invested in them, then reassess and readjust to make each other more of a priority.
Prayerfully consider if there is too much time being invested in watching TV and/or listening to or viewing other media. You can also overload on sporting events, activities, or too much of shopping, hobbies, friendships —which when taken to excess robs the marriage relationship of the nurturing that is needed to grow it. There are also unsupportive friendships and emotional “friendships” that can be parasitic in stealing time and energy away from each other. BEWARE!!!
And Then There are Children.
Yes, even our own children can be problematic. They aren’t “parasitic” but their continual demands can be! Beware of allowing your marriage to become child-centered, at the severe neglect of our relationship with each other. Some times, because of extenuating circumstances, such as illnesses and mental conditions, the parents can be on overload. As a result, it takes more intentional teamwork to still have SOME energy left for the marriage. But if it’s more than it should be (just because you have demanding children, or one or more parents give in more often than they should), then eventually the child or children suffer along with your marital relationship, because it’s so shaky.
You need to find ways to make sure you are marriage partners and lovers, as well as parents, even under the worst of conditions.
Who Wants Parasites?
Viewing these excesses and addictions, as parasites can be helpful. After all, who wouldn’t readily fight against having parasites attaching themselves to us sucking the life out of us? Love has a tendency to break down and vanish when these types of parasites attack. If you truly love, as God would have you, and as you promised in your wedding vows, you will do your part to continually fight against and guard your heart from allowing them to eat away at your relationship.
“You must pay attention to your marriage, guarding it from anything that tries to feed off the time and attention that only belongs to God and to your spouse.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick)
We hope and pray you will (and we will too) …
Cindy and Steve Wright
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2 responses to “Parasites In Marriage”
And sometimes (as in my case), church/activities, e.g. Women’s Bible study, Ladies’ Auxiliary, Operation Christmas Child, etc. sometimes these activities take up 3-4 nights a week. In effect, “church” becomes her “idol.” But how are you supposed to complain without looking selfish and unconcerned for the church and the spread of the Gospel? Especially when NO ONE will believe you because she is “St. Jane” for being so committed/devoted. Wish she were half as devoted to me, but whatever. Everything happens for a reason, right?
I’ve been doing the Love Dare challenge and I’m on day 39. The difference is that my wife and I seperated before I started doing the challenge. We hardly chat or phone eaxh other. She does not know about my changes. One thing you can say is that God really changed my life and I have realised that I love my wife more than ever. I can’t explain it. I want my marriage to work and only God can save it.