We deal with couples every day that decide to give up and quit their marriage. I can’t even start to tell you how much this tugs at our hearts. It’s so tragic how love, which seemed real and forever turns a corner to such a place that those who once before “couldn’t live without each other, now want nothing more… at least one of the spouses feels that way.
We know we can’t do everything —God knows that. There are good, good people who lose hope and quit their marriages. But there are a few things we would like for spouses, who want to give up to consider.
Perhaps you are the one who wants to quit, or perhaps you know someone else who wants to quit, but please prayerfully consider the following, that you may not have thought of previously, but should:
“Quitting on your marriage may temporarily reduce the pressure you feel, but a broken marriage and family will add truckloads of new pressures over a lifetime. It takes courage to do what is right. Remaining devoted to your spouse becomes your living testimony to the faithfulness of God and the strength of your marriage covenant. Pray that you’ll always love as God loves, forgive as He forgives and endure as He endures.” (From book, “Moments With You” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)
You most often exchange one set of problems and take on a whole new set of problems.
And while you may want to get rid of the old, if you have children, it’s important to know that:
“Once you divorce, you let a judge into your parenting to decide how you can raise your child. Your parenting values can be jeopardized by what the courts decide” -Lawyer. You may think that getting a divorce will help you to experience more peace than you have today, but consider that there are “hidden costs” that could be much more expensive to pay in the end. “Consider the costs” before tearing apart your home.” (Quote came from a lawyer from Regent University commenting on the 700 Club program Feb. 17, 2010)
And lastly, no matter what you decide:
“Remember this: God hates divorce. But the same God who hates divorce, loves the divorced, just as He does all his children.
“If you’re contemplating divorce, I pray you’ll reconsider reconciliation, if at all possible.
“If your heart has been broken by divorce, go to Him for healing.
“If divorce has separated you from God, I pray that you will find your way back to Him.
“He has left the light on. The door is unlocked. He’s waiting for you.” (Max Lucado, from the article, “Divorce’s Dark Country”)
This blog is written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International.
Filed under: Marriage Blog
Hey all, I don’t really know where to start. I have been divorced since October, but separated for a year and a half. I cannot seem to find any sort of firm footing. My divorce was initiated by my wife and I fought to try to preserve the marriage. I have two sons that have deeply effected by the destruction of our family.
My ex-wife quickly moved on and has a new boyfriend living in a home they purchased. I have not and don’t anticipate dating until my sons are fully grown to avoid causing them any additional pain. I am at a loss of what God has planned for me at this point. I have been depressed, and financially bankrupt, and feel such a deep sense of abandonment I don’t know where to turn. I have tried numerous times to reconcile my relationship with my ex; she simply rebuffs me or gives me the silent treatment.