The Sickness and in Health Marital Journey

Health Journey - AdobeStock_300352716

Here we go again. It’s another journey walk that we didn’t see coming when we pledged our marriage vows to each other and to God so many years ago. Actually, in our marriage, we’ve journeyed through a lot of surprises together. We’re sure you have too. Many of you may still be walking on that “surprise” path. Some surprises can be fun. But others are not fun at all. That’s especially true when you’re walking the “sickness” path as opposed to the “good” health journey.

But it’s often through the most difficult journeys that God can shine through us, if we let Him. And that’s the operative word here. We have to LET Him shine. It’s not something we like to think about when we’re trudging through difficulties; but it’s true.

“‘Through sickness and through health’ sounds so simple on your wedding day. But in reality, they become significant words that are a huge responsibility and show true character to navigate.” (Yolanda Hadid)

So, we’re in another “character building” time of our marriage. We hesitated to talk about this because this ministry is not about us. It’s about God, and all He can do in and through us as we participate with Him within the vehicle of marriage. But we also want to be real. And we feel that we need to ask you to partner with us in praying. Steve has cancer. It’s difficult for us to take this in because he looks so healthy. But it’s true, none-the-less. We just found out officially a few weeks ago. And so now we are on a journey to navigate through the treatment options that his doctors have presented to us. We sure need wisdom.

Our Health Journey

We believe we know the “options” we are to take. This includes the health style and eating plan that we found in the “Chris Beat Cancer” book, plus his Chrisbeatcancer.com web site. We found a number of amazing testimonies and great info posted there. (Chris beat stage 3 colon cancer through the “plan” he believes God gave him.) But without God’s wisdom, we feel we’re just spitting in the wind. Who knows where that will land? (That’s a gross picture, isn’t it? But it’s true.) We’re asking for prayer for wisdom, God’s guidance and mercy through His healing hand.

We agree with something that Martha Marlow Carpenter wrote:

“In a significant and personal way, God taught me about my ‘in sickness and in health’ vow. And then He asked me again if I meant it. By His grace, I do.”

I do too. And so does Steve.

We’re on this marriage journey—this health journey together. On our wedding day, we vow to love, honor and stay true to each other “in sickness and in health.” We don’t realize when we promise this, that seasons of sickness will most likely become a part of our married lives. When it does—particularly when the illness is chronic, we’re caught off-guard. I have to tell you that when Steve and I married, we definitely were caught by surprise. Just a short time afterward he came down with Type-1 Diabetes. It drastically changed our “normal” for the rest of our lives from that day forward.

Our Previous Health Journey

Previously, when one of us was sick, even in the short-term, we usually didn’t handle it very maturely. Our behavior wasn’t always as unselfish as Christ would want of us. So when overnight, Steve became an Insulin-dependent Diabetic, our vows started a journey of testing in ways we’d never imagined possible. Maybe you can relate?

For anyone who has lived with someone who has Diabetes they know that it drastically changes everything. It delivers with it a lot of “grow up” opportunities. Your lives together are never the same. And your maturity is tested to its limits. I’m ashamed to say that over the years I mentally entertained many pity-parties over this whole matter. And too often my behavior reflected that, in which I allowed my mind to indulge.

I’d like to share one incident in particular, however, because I think it has several lessons for us all. This is true whether or not you are on a health journey.

A Wake Up Call in Our Health Journey

At that time in our marriage, because of Steve’s Diabetes, we had been going through some real difficulties. His diabetes caused a lot of sleepless nights, particularly for me. Steve was barely awake for many of them. His insulin reactions came fast, and many of them were very deep where he didn’t even remember them afterward. But I did. And I struggled with the gravity of the situations at the time, and the memories I had of them afterward.

One night there was a huge incident involving an insulin reaction. It was both embarrassing (because most of it occurred in public) and scary. Afterward, I didn’t think I could handle anything like that again. When Steve came out of his reaction, and I knew it was safe to leave him alone in the room, I told him that I needed to have a really tough talk with the Lord—alone!

Because we were staying in a hotel at the time, I didn’t have many places to go to be alone. So I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and drew a huge bubble bath. I then laid in it and cried, and cried. I remember telling the Lord, “This is not what I signed up for when we married. This is too hard. Steve is not the same man I married. So I want out! I can’t take this anymore!” What I wanted was for God to give me the permission to leave Steve, forget my wedding vows, and never look back. But He didn’t.

The Difficult Truth

God let me cry for the longest time. And then when I got to a place where I would listen, God let me know: “Yes, it’s true you didn’t know marriage was going to be this hard. And yes, Steve is not the same man you married. But you need to deal with it! This is the ‘for worse’ part of marriage. It’s grow up time because marriage is not for children.”

God also let me know that Steve wasn’t the only one who had changed. I had changed too. Sometimes I was mean with him when his illness taxed my patience. I was much more patient with him before we married. But at this point, I was no picnic to live with either. I wish I didn’t have to admit this! However, if we’re going to be real with you, we have to confess bad stuff too. This illustrates something that John Robert Throop wrote:

“Illness—especially when it’s chronic—taxes marriage. Why? For one thing, an illness creates a deep dependence of one spouse on the other. The sick spouse simply can’t do the things he or she used to do effortlessly. The relationship changes. Now the care giving and serving goes mostly in one direction, whereas it formerly was mutual. Sickness also brings out selfishness even in people who are spiritually deep. When you’re sick, you must employ all your resources in getting well. The focus is on yourself and your needs. Or if a child is the ill family member, all caring goes to that child and the marriage is put on hold. Finally, if your spouse suffers, it may be too much for you to handle emotionally.” (From the “Husbands and Wives” book)

Too Much!

And that’s what I felt. It was too much for me to handle. Too much had changed. Everything appeared to be too different for me to cope with. However, God let me know that just because marriage was more difficult than I’d imagined, that didn’t give me the right to break my promise to honor Steve in times of sickness.

And what about Steve? Did I think this was a picnic for him? Was his having diabetes a choice he made? And because of his diabetes does that mean that he shouldn’t marry because it brings hardship upon his wife?

God let me know of His love for Steve and His love for me. He also let me know that He has a mission for each of us to work in partnership together. We’re to be together through the good times and the bad. It’s like something that Myrna Pugh said. “Sometimes ‘sickness’ can be the most ‘healthy’ place to be if God is present. That is because He can change us there.” And God sure is changing me, and changing Steve.

Through all of this, I can see the truth behind the words of the psalmist, as it is written in the Bible:

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.(Psalm 73:28)

Learning A Lot on Health Journey

I now understand that part of that the mission has been to be a helpmate and an understanding wife. I am to reflect the love of Christ even when I don’t feel like it. That’s part of what it means to be a Christ follower. We are not spared times of suffering. But we are called to participate with Him in rising victoriously ABOVE or wading THROUGH whatever comes our way.

“Our desire is that our marriages would be the location of our comfort, ease, and enjoyment. We often have desires no bigger than this. But God’s purpose is that each of our marriages would be a tool for something that is way more miraculous and glorious than our tiny, little, self-focussed definition of happiness. He has designed marriage to be one of the most effective and efficient tools of personal holiness. He has designed your marriage to change YOU.” (Paul Tripp, from his book, What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage)

It’s during those difficult times that the love and character of Christ has the REAL opportunity to grow within us. All else is preparation time for the real thing. It’s during those tough times that we especially need to listen, yield, and follow through with all that God reveals to us in His Word, the Bible. (That’s why we need to make the time to read it.) Even in His silence, there is much to learn.

Oswald Chambers wrote:

“Abraham went through 13 years of silence. But in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed. There was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline. The only thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that others do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God.” (From: My Utmost for His Highest)

I’m learning a lot through this journey. Yes, my husband has changed since we first got married. But we ALL change —daily. Life is fluid. Everyday living consists of changes. And with these changes we can’t help but change with them. So what are we to do? Are we to allow ourselves to break promises and act out in ungodly ways because our spouse is now different than when we first got married? No.

If so, how can anyone ever count on us? The Bible says:

If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.(Numbers 30:2)

Teaching Moments

Each day, God is teaching Steve and me what it means to live out our promises. We’re learning to adjust in Christ-like ways to the challenges we face. But it hasn’t been easy, by any means.

Even though we WANT to always respond to each other in loving, selfless ways, we sometimes react as we shouldn’t. Even the apostle Paul battled with that one. (See: Romans 7:15-25.) But we’re learning. We’re also growing in the grace and mercy of God. For that we are thankful.

We also wholeheartedly agree with the following statements:

“I have come to understand that the vow to be faithful in sickness and in health is there, not only to remind us to “hang in there” when the going gets rough. It is also there to remind us that by God’s grace we have health. And equally by His grace we can stay together bearing the burden of illness. It is possible in sickness to grow more deeply in service and humility and to recognize our mutual dependence not only on one another, but also on God. Illness is an opportunity for ministry far more often than merely an occasion for misery. (John Robert Throop, contributing author to the book, “Husbands and Wives”)

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.(Psalm 143:10)

Prayer During This Sickness and In Health Journey

So, as we close this Marriage Insight, we ask for your prayers. Pray whatever you believe God inspires you to say to Him on our behalf. This health journey is a difficult one to navigate. But we know that as you hold up our arms in faith, God will work in amazing ways.

Also, just so you know, we have a Mental and Physical Health topic available for you to read through on the Marriage Missions web site. We pray that you find this to be helpful in your own Health Journey.

It is our hope that whatever you’re facing in your marriage, you will allow God to work in and through you to demonstrate the merciful love of Christ. We also hope that your life will be a living testimony. We are to be “more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.” Our mission is to communicate the gospel with and without words. Our lives are to demonstrate that what God is able to do for you, He is able to do for them. That is our prayer for all of us.

Cindy and Steve Wright

— ADDITIONALLY —

To help you further, we give a lot of personal stories, humor, and more practical tips in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to Grow Your Marriage. We hope you will pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both electronically and in print form.) Plus, it can make a great gift for someone else. It gives you the opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or the picture below:

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Comments

25 responses to “The Sickness and in Health Marital Journey

  1. My husband doesn’t like the in sickness part of our vows. I have trouble with my joint pain some. There are somethings I can’t do when my knees hurt or I hurt my shoulder and can’t even put a blouse on. I can tell by his body language he doesn’t want to be bothered by it. He may help me but he’s in a bad mood after. Take for instance today.

    I had cooked supper and asked him to make green beans. Well as we sat to start to eat he spilled coffee on the table and started cussing. I asked him why he had to be that way. I was having pain to my shoulder and it was hard enough to use the fork to eat. I mentioned that I appreciated all he did to help but if was bothering him I could do it myself. Of course my eyes filled with tears. Just like right now as I type this…Needless to say I’m where “I want out”

    1. So sorry to hear that. Sometimes maybe getting out is the only way. Some spouses just can’t understand and don’t want to be bothered and it’s a sad, sad situation. God bless you I hope everything works out for the best.

    2. Hi Cindy. Thank you for this wonderful, honest and practical ministry. You have no idea of the lives you’ve touched. May the Almighty continue to be with you as you journey through this challenging path. All things work together for good. Trust God, trust the process. You’re in my prayers.

      1. Thank you Sikhullie. You have blessed my heart with your encouraging words. Steve and I pray continually that God will speak through us and use the mistakes we make, and the lessons we learn to help others. We never want to stand in His way–only bless with the blessings He gives us to give. Thank you for your uplifting words and prayers. They mean so much to us as we walk this difficult journey.

  2. Absolutely beautiful… Very well said. God bless you and help you. It sounds like you’re doing great.

    1. Thank you Jeannie. Your words are very kind. I can well appreciate why spouses are tempted to leave their spouse during these difficult times. I’ve sure been there. But even if the other spouse doesn’t understand, our vows should still stand. It says a lot about our character. Yes… there can be horrible times ahead. And I don’t want to ever underestimate the toughness of them. But do you really think God would want us to turn our back on those who are ill–particularly our spouse to whom we promised to honor “through sickness and in health?” He said we are blessed when we care for those who are ill.

      Life is tough on this side of Heaven. We live in a fallen world where bad things happen. But even so, God can grow us through those times and help us to do what needs to be done. He promises to help us as we look to Him. And as others see us trudging through, they are encouraged and strengthened too. How many times have you heard it said, “If they can do this, then I can too.” We ARE “surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses” … both on earth and in Heaven.

      Steve and I are doing well. We have our tough times. (More recently, Steve had the “widow-maker” heart attack… but he survived, and for that we are both thankful.) We trudge through the tough times, and relish the good. It’s like the saying, “Everyday is a gift… that is why it is called the present.” We don’t take our times together for granted. We know many who have it much worse than we do. And because of them (and ESPECIALLY because of the strength and fellowship the Lord provides), we say, “if they can go through that, we can go through this.” We ARE learning that we can do all things through Christ. Thanks again for your well wishes.

  3. May the Lord continue to reveal Himself to you guys even as you journey through the cancer diagnosis. We were just 6 years into our marriage when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our sons were just 3 and 2 years. 11 years on, cancer free, teenage sons, 17th year of marriage, I can testify of the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

    My encouragement to you, Cindy, is that the Lord knows Steve and the Lord remembers your love and work for His people (Hebrews 6:10). May the Lord grant healing and health to Steve in Jesus Mighty Name! And to you, His peace and grace to continue faithfully being His vessel of love.

    As a parting shot, I have to admit, the love and care and respect that my husband showed me during the sickness journey truly confirmed to me that he was/is the one God chose for me. And anytime that we go through difficult and trying times in our marriage, that’s a reference point for me to stick with “the one God chose for me”. Praying for you both. May the Lord be real and present! In Christ’s Love

    1. Thank you Wambui… We feel kindness, and the love of the Lord flowing into our lives from the words you shared with us. Your testimony of what you have lived through with your breast cancer is something we praise God for! 11 years, and cancer free… praise God! He doesn’t always heal us in this way. And we don’t always understand why. But we must look to our Great Physician to heal in the ways that He will, and accept that, which we don’t understand. We are best when we are over-comers, in the ways God shows us, always open to learn along the way. Ultimately, as we lean into Him, it’s all to His glory!

      Thank you for sharing your experience of what it meant to you as your husband ministered to you with love, care, and respect. That is what God showed me a number of years ago to do for Steve. And when it applies, Steve does this for me too. We partner with God in giving to each other the abundant love that God gives to us. May we never forget! Thank you too, for your prayers. We embrace the love behind those prayers and thank God for it.

      As you pray for us… “To this end we pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 1:11-12)

  4. Dear Cindy & Steve, thank you so much for sharing your lives with us by sharing your testimony of Steve’s health journey. Your ministry has for sure been a blessing to my friends and I and we pray for the Lord to always bless it in a special way. And now concerning this health hurdle that Steve is facing with you by his side, we pray that our Lord shall step into that situation in a mighty way and bring healing and deliverance. May He grant you both grace to navigate those high waters. Blessings!

    1. Thank you for sharing your life with us. It is a great lesson and a mind opener. Thank you for the wisdom. Married life is not easy; it requires a lot of patience, understanding, perseverance and selfless love. It is a union where one is supposed to be happiest, but sadly it is the opposite. Your words of insight give the courage to hang in there, and understand that there is a power, which is above all understanding, that when you truly believe, trust and make God the centre of your marriage, He will pull you through tough times. I pray that you feel God’s presence in these trying times. Listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance, and allow the will of God. Trust in Him with your heart, and might. He is with you. God bless.

      1. Desiree, your words are wise. Thank you for sharing them with us and for those who will read them. God ministers in ways that we can hardly comprehend. And than you for your words of encouragement. God is so very good for giving us people like you to encourage us. Sometimes He works directly, and other times He works through His people. You have blessed us. And for that, we are sincerely grateful. “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)

    2. Thank you Ruth. You have blessed us with your kind words. It’s always good to hear from those we try to minister to in Jesus name. God has given us a special love for those in Kenya and for you. Thank you for expressing your heart and prayers for us. “May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” (2 Peter 1:2)

    3. Thank you for sharing the real issues of life. May God uphold you as you go through the sickness. Praying with you.

  5. Dear Steve and Cindy, This Marriage Mission message is different! It has sharply pointed words and yet very well rounded. Am blessed to have subscribed to your messages. I believe that God has a novel purpose why He has allowed Steve to be in this situation. And to you Cindy, I pray that you see God every morning light up your eyes to see how you can help Steve during this season. I speak VICTORY IN JESUS NAME!!!

    1. Thank you Robbie. What you wrote has blessed us indeed. We pray God uses what He is teaching us to minister to others. And thank you for your prayers. They are like hugs to our hearts, and arrows of petition that you send up to God on our behalf. Thank you for speaking victory in Jesus name!

      “May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)

  6. Thank you Cindy for all that you are willing to share with us. I’m curious to know how God has sustained you both since this was written. I am at a huge impasse in my marriage because my husband not only physically suffers from End Stage Renal Failure and is on dialysis, but what robs my spirit is that he suffers from mental illness as well. He was abused by his parents, as was I, and 5.5 years into our marriage, I discovered that his known anxiety/depression has been masking Narcissistic behavior this whole time.

    I’ve read the article on this subject, which has been very helpful, and I’m still on this journey in our marriage of what God is showing me about Him and thus myself throughout this whole ordeal. Our marriage has been incredibly difficult.

    Just last week, we had a major medical incident due to his dialysis in which the ambulance had to be called and he was admitted into the MICU due to fluid on his lungs. I’m still not fully recovered from that. And the ugliness of the narcissistic behavior he suffers from took no time at all after the trauma we just experienced to rear its ugly head. I had a lot to say to my therapist about it. I’m in desperate need of reprieve, because I haven’t had any at all throughout my entire marriage, and I’m seriously grieving the Holy Spirit, which I feel is barely in me at this point because it feels like I’m constantly snuffing it out.

    I know God is here alive and well in my marriage, because I would have completely lost it a long time ago. Thank you for this reminder. I hope you both are still hanging in there.

    1. Oh Yolanda… how my heart goes out to you! It’s difficult enough to go through physical illness, but to go through the pain of dealing with mental illness, as well … I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I cry for you as I think of all you must be going through.

      Please know that God IS sustaining us. We don’t know much of the path that is before us. There are a lot of unknowns. But we keep leaning upon the Lord to help us take one step at a time, one day at a time. If we look too far ahead, we start to get frightened. But God is showing us that He is giving us grace to do what we need to do step by step, and not to try to look too far ahead. Planning can be good, but with cancer, who knows where it will take us? I believe the same is true for you. Just ask God to give you the strength for this present moment, and for the strength you need when you need it. And pray for mercy and miracles, as God knows you need it.

      I’m so sorry that your marriage has been so difficult. And then reading of your medical incident last week… again, I can only imagine the emotional trauma. We’ve been through some medical traumas with Steve’s diabetes. And sometimes I have had to deal with them mostly alone while they were going on. It’s easy to go into panic mode in those types of incidences. And then afterward, you’re overwhelmed with emotions that you can’t describe in human terms. No one can completely understand how traumatizing those types of situations can be. I’m glad though, that you have a therapist. I’m sure that is a lifeline for you in many ways.

      Please try not to judge yourself too harshly. You say in your comment that you know you are grieving the Holy Spirit. God knows what you are going through. I have no doubt that He gives you a LOT more grace than you could ever imagine. He knows we are human. And He is a lot less condemning that we may think. Keep in mind that the enemy of our faith wants to tie you up in knots. If you are full of doubts and are feeling condemned, you can’t feel God’s peace. I put together an article several years ago that I encourage you to read. I think it may be enlightening to you, as you read it. The truths that I came across when I was researching for this article has helped me immensely. I hope it will help you too. It can be found at: https://marriagemissions.com/discerning-the-difference-between-the-conviction-of-the-holy-spirit-and-condemnation-of-the-enemy/.

      All I can say is for you to do what you can, and rely on the Holy Spirit to help you to work through the rest. Try NOT to expose too many of your raw feelings with those, that you believe you shouldn’t. This will only cause more damage to them and to you, because of the conflicting emotions that will bring. (Sometimes I’ve had to silently scream in the bathroom to God, and then go back out to face what I had to face.) But process through what you can and need to with your therapist and those who are mature enough to handle it. (Sometimes… many times, it has just been me and the Lord.)

      I’ve been through some tough, tough times with my dad (too complicated to explain). My main prayers to his dying day, was that God would help me to do what I needed to do, and to do it as God would have me, in His love and grace (not enabling) and not mine. I never wanted to live with regrets that I should have done something, or NOT done something… said something, or NOT said something that I would later regret. I can say with no hesitation that God was faithful in helping me though all of it. Sometimes I wondered, but as I look back, I can see that He was faithful, even when I stumbled. I have no regrets on the things I should have done. Sure, we all make mistakes. But overall, I kept falling forward, talking it all over with God, and making sure He and I were straight. And then I would lean into Him again to live as He would have me so I would not have regrets, as far as how I handled my own actions. I couldn’t control my dad’s, but “as far as it be within” me, I did what I could.

      I don’t know if this will help you or not. All of this is so very complicated. But please know that I care. I pray God gives you quiet times of rest and refreshing… even if it is just pockets of time here and there. I also pray that God strengthens you to deal with your husband in the ways that Jesus would. Sometimes this may be through doling out tough love, but other times it will be to show a different type of love and grace. I also pray God will give you discernment to know when to apply what.

      “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11) “May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.” (Jude 1:2)

  7. This could not have come at a better time for us and our marriage. We got some disturbing news yesterday yet I can see through your honesty and openess, that God has been trying to reach me, especially, for quite some time now and I wasn’t listening. I am now after reading this…thank you. I hold you both in prayer and all involved in this matter.

    1. Thank you Kristi, for letting us know this. We’re so sorry for your “disturbing news.” We know how unsettling this can be! But I pray the Lord helps you to keep your focus on Him and the ways in which He can bring good out of this bad. It may be difficult to do that (I know that personally). But keep refocusing, and trusting whenever and however you can. Keep working to get to that place. It is a place of peace. … We appreciate your prayers more than we can express!

  8. Thank you for this word it really opened my eyes on where I was with my husband who needs a hip replacement and has problems with his bladder…he has a tube in his bladder. I’ve been mean, selfish, and much more not realizing what he must be going through; and my behavior wasn’t helping, let alone not remembering my vows for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Since reading this I’ve gone to God and repented and asked for forgiveness and grace to see this through together in Christ. Thanks again for the eye opener.

    1. Oh Tammy, Thank you SO much for sharing your heart and confessions with us. It’s amazing how God can bring redemption through the most difficult circumstances we experience–even those where we stumble and act in ways we shouldn’t. He is indeed a forgiving and gracious God.

      Our circumstances are a bit different, but the strain of the matter, and the temptation to be irritated and be prickly and mean is similar. God really woke me up that day to my poor behavior that day that I wrote about in this Insight. Like you, I did a complete 180 and asked God to help me to treat Steve with the love and grace He would have me. Sometimes I am still tempted to be mean–especially when the situation is messy, difficult, upsetting, and even frightening. But I try to envision what Jesus would have me do… what would Jesus do? That helps a lot.

      I encourage you to watch a short video we have posted on this web site on dealing with illnesses and disabilities with a few things written below it, as well as another article referred to within this one. I think it will help and encourage you, as it has me. Sometimes when I see what others do it helps me to do what I need to do. Perhaps this will be the same for you. You can find the article at: https://marriagemissions.com/enduring-love-ken-joni-tada/.

      I want to tell you that I love your heart. You have openly confessed and are proceeding forward as God would have you. I’m sorry that you and your husband have to go through this. But I’m proud of you for facing it with a renewed Christlike attitude from this day forward. All-in-all you both will benefit from this revelation that God gave to you. I hope and pray that your husband’s hip replacement goes well. That can be brutal. And the bladder problems… that’s difficult for both spouses. All you can do is the best you can do, with the attitude of grace that God gives you when you lean into Him. Thank you for writing what you did. I have no doubt that it will encourage many to do the same and will encourage others like us to cheer you on!

      “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (Romans 15:5-6)

  9. Powerful message, In Sickness and In Health. Our marriages should reflect the love of Christ. I pray that God will remember Steve. Through the stripes of Jesus, may he receive healing. May God direct you to the right doctors. As the doctors treat, God will heal him for his glory. Your ministry has impacted many marriages and nothing will hinder your efforts, in Jesus mighty name I am praying with you.

    1. Thank you SO much Monicah. God is so good to give us friends like you to bless and pray for Steve and for me. We need your prayers so much. God is guiding, but we are definitely tired and feel stretched to the fullest in many ways. And yet, we treasure every moment we have together. Thanks again… May God bless you abundantly!

    1. Thank you Colleen. This mean so much to us… can’t even explain how much! Love to you and your family. :)