“You’ve been there. Your spouse says something, whether intentional or not, and it’s like a stomach punch to the soul. You feel assaulted, rejected, embarrassed. Immediately a counterattack strategy begins to form in your mind, one that will rival D-Day in its overwhelming impact. You feel deep anger. “You want Read More…
Do you find yourself involved in arguments with your spouse, where calming arguments down (or at least certain arguments) before you continue any further is best? If you don’t, it’s almost certain something will be said and/or done that would be ungodly. And then regrets and ill feelings swarm in Read More…
When we think of domestic violence, we don’t often hear about husbands being abused. It’s usually the wife who is the reported sufferer. Yet, there are many husbands who are the victims of spousal abuse. Yes, husband abuse is real; it does happen. So why don’t we hear about husbands Read More…
When we’re angry we’re often tempted to deal with our anger in two improper ways. We stuff it or spew it; or, put another way: we hide it or hurl it. There are angry stuffers and spewers. These are two extremes, two ruts on either side of the road. (Dr Read More…
Do you and/or your spouse yell at each other when you fight? Did you know that yelling shuts down your ability to reason in healthy ways with your spouse? “When you yell at someone there’s a part of the brain that shuts down. It’s the part of the brain that Read More…
If Cindy and I (Steve) are going to be transparent with you we did not fight in healthy ways earlier in our marriage. In fact, our approach was quite toxic. It was all about “winner take all.” Does that ring familiar with how you and your spouse argue? If so, Read More…
It’s confession time. We did not fight in healthy ways with each other in the first years of our marriage. In fact, our approach was toxic. It was all about, “Winner takes all.” And that is anything but healthy. We yelled, screamed and acted childishly. And we are not proud Read More…
A few weeks ago we wrote about the War of Words that goes on in many marriages. This week we’re going to touch on the destructiveness of explosive anger within marriage. One can lead to the other, or be entirely separate if that “war” is waged in healthy ways. However, Read More…
Have you fallen into the marital trap of unquieted anger? When it occurs, we let loose. Sometimes it surprises even us. I sadly confess that I’ve been there and have done that myself. It’s not something I’m proud of. How I wish I would have worked on my triggered anger Read More…
It’s something we learned a long time ago —don’t pile up grievances against each other. Make sure your grievance “accounts” are short lived so you don’t get buried under the weight of it all. We’ve seen spouses who keep piling one gripe on top of another until it eventually gets Read More…
