“Do you dare release the person you are today from the shadow of the wrong you did yesterday? Do you dare forgive yourself? Forgiving yourself takes high courage. Who are you, after all, to shake yourself free from the undeniable sins of your private history —as if what you once did has Read More…
It is an old adage that says, “Hurt people hurt people.” Those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. For example, a large percentage of those who have been sexually abused become the abusers of others. Those who suffered under an alcoholic Read More…
When we’ve been hurt by our spouse (or anyone else) our first tendency is to protect ourselves from ever being hurt like that again. That can be a good instinct. But then temptation enters in to become bitter, and wallow in unforgiveness because of the victimization we feel. Sometimes bitterness Read More…
“The past has very little substance, but it stays close to your heels.” (Unknown) It is human nature to view new relationships in light of previous ones. It’s like putting on sunglasses that are tinted yellow or black. Everything you see has a yellow or black hue. We often view our Read More…
Perhaps the most difficult act of forgiving and the most critical one for the abuse survivor is leaning to forgive herself. She must learn self-forgiveness with the same determination with which she forgives those who brought her pain. A whole jury of self-accusations cries out against her:.“Why didn’t I say, Read More…
A person who has been sexually abused as a child often thinks that once the abuse stops, he or she can “just get on with life.” At that point everything will be “just fine.” After-all, the past is the past, right? Wrong. Personal Experience of Abuse I’ve been there and Read More…
A marital Healing Separation is a structured time apart. This can help a couple to heal a relationship that isn’t working. It can also help revitalize and renew the relationship so it is working. The intent of this time of separation is to move it from neediness to health. A Read More…
