You’d think that a wayward spouse would be aware of his or her weakness, and aware of the pain inflicted. And because of this awareness, he or she would be thoughtful enough to make every effort to avoid further contact with the lover. Instead, the wayward spouse often argues that the relationship was “only sexual.” Another argument this spouse gives is that it was “only emotional, but not sexual” or some other peculiar description. They say this to prove to the other spouse that continued contact with the lover would be okay.
Most betrayed spouses intuitively understand the danger and demand that all contact with a lover end for life. Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the affair, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to the betrayed spouse.
Total Separation: The Right Way to End an Affair
In spite of career sacrifices, friendships, and issues relating to children’s schooling, I recommend with all seriousness that there be a sudden and complete end to an affair. And I recommend extreme measures to ensure total separation for life from a former lover.
Several years ago, I owned and operated ten chemical dependency treatment clinics. At first, we used several different treatment strategies. For some, we tried to encourage moderation, and for others we tried to achieve total abstinence. Eventually, all of the counselors agreed that total abstinence was the only way to save drug or alcohol addicts from their self-destructive behavior.
Unless they completely abandoned the object of their addiction, the addiction usually returned. For these people, moderation was impossible. The conviction that their drug of choice was off-limits to them for life, helped end their cycle of addiction-treatment-addiction.
Total Separation Strategy
My strategy for ending an affair with total separation from the lover developed after my experience treating addicts. And, over the years, I’ve found my total-separation strategy to be very effective in ending affairs in a way that makes marital recovery possible. Without total separation, marital recovery is almost impossible.
An affair is a very powerful addiction. The craving to be with the lover can be so intense that objective reality doesn’t have much of a chance. Their spouse and children may be permanently injured by this cruel indulgence, but it doesn’t seem to matter. All that matters is spending more time with the lover. That makes it an addiction.
Affairs Are Addicting
Even the one-night stand may be an addiction. It may not be an addiction to a particular lover, but it may still be an addiction —to one-night stands. In affairs that have low emotional attachment, the addiction is often to the act of having sex itself, rather than to a particular lover.
The addiction to one-night stands can also grow from a need to be continually assured of one’s attractiveness. People who indulge in such practices want to feel that they can have anyone they want, even that person over there sitting at the bar. These people who need constant reassurance of their attractiveness must learn some other way to gain that assurance —a way that does not destroy their marriage.
The analogy between chemical addiction and an affair is striking. In both cases, the first step toward recovery is admitting that the addiction is self-destructive and harmful to those whom the addict cares for most —his or her family.
Suffering from Withdrawal
After recognizing the need to overcome the addiction, the next step is to suffer through the symptoms of withdrawal. Addicts are often admitted to a hospital or treatment program during the first few weeks of withdrawal. This is to ensure total separation from the addicting substance.
Abstain!
The way to overcome an addiction has been tried and proven. Addicts must abstain from the object of their addiction. Alcoholics, for example, must completely avoid contact with any alcoholic beverage to gain control over their addictive behavior. They must even avoid friends who drink occasionally in their presence. In addition, they must surround themselves with an alcohol-free environment. In the same way, when a wayward spouse separates from the lover, extraordinary precautions must be taken. They are to avoid all contact with the lover —for life.
Of course, my advice is not easy to implement. Many people who have had an affair try but fail to make a drastic and decisive break with their lover.
The above article is adapted from the book, Surviving an Affair
— ALSO —
To find further help on this issue, please read the two linked articles below. (Note: they are not Christian articles, but the information is very sound and is scripturally sound.)
• HOW TO PERMANENTLY END THE AFFAIR
• LETTING GO OF THE GRIEF, HEARTACHE, AND DISCOMFORT
— PLUS —
You will find below an additional linked article written by Dr Willard Harley Jr, to read, that you might find helpful:
• THE ADDICTIVE POWER OF AN AFFAIR
Filed under: Surviving Infidelity
(USA) Hi, Thanks Chris for your honest post. And I think I need to get honest and look at the woman in the mirror and smile back at her with a clear conscience. I made a huge mistake and it caused me terrible turmoil, nightmares, depression and anxiety. My low self-esteem is at at an all time low, right now. You are correct, and you really don’t know what you have or had until it’s gone. It’s too late to get it back for me, I blew it big time and I know it. I have to trust in my first love, Jesus. And with that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I will try to fight the good fight. Good night and Godspeed.
(USA) Jane, Were you married or are you married? I can’t really tell from your posts. If you were, and infidelity was the cause of the breakup, apologize to your spouse and ask for forgiveness. With God, I believe nothing is impossible, even reconciliation. If you have never married, there are plenty of single guys out there for you.
After I had my affair, I went through the depression, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia and I lost 35 lbs. in 4 months. Plenty of guilt, regret and sorrow as well. I have remained faithful to my wife since then. A few times I have caught myself looking at someone else and even thinking about moving on and these happen when I’m at a low or discouraged. However, I realize these are my emotions and reactions to my deep loneliness and hopelessness.
I have since lost the anxiety, my appetite has returned for the most part, I’m off my depression meds (although I am still sad and very lonely), the panic attacks are gone. I still struggle with sleep and I hope that will return to some normalcy. I think you’ll feel better about yourself if you do the right thing.
(USA) I was married and it’s over for many reasons. One is we didn’t fight for our relationship and I was weak and let someone in my life who really doesn’t care anything about me. He and I were both married when this started many years ago. I have been having horrible dreams like I said, one last night again! I am going to end this once and for all, and move on. There are plenty of single guys out there -and when I am ready I will meet someone. I still love my ex-husband, and wish often that things were different and we were still together. He’s a great guy and father of my two girls. I feel really, really dumb right now, for allowing this to continue and have no one but myself to blame for allowing this to continue.
Thanks for your posts, Chris. They mean so much. I read and reread them over and over again.
(USA) Hey Jane, I want to challenge you to fight for your marriage. Apologize to your husband and ask for his forgiveness. Tell him you love him still. Let the Lord change you and your husband will see it. There is so much to fight for. Your husband, kids and your family.
I also believe this pleases God. God hates divorce. He reconciled us to Himself although we don’t deserve it and He can do the same for your marriage. I also believe, according to His Word, that neither you nor I are free to pursue other relationships or remarriage. We made our vows to God and to our spouses for life. Our families are worth laying our lives down for.
Start doing loving things for your spouse. You may be rejected over and over. I know what that’s like but my wife is going to know one way or another, that I love her and I am so sorry for hurting her, in many ways throughout our marriage. She deserves that much. Our kids deserve that much. God deserves our obedience. And God is able. I know in my heart that it is his will that marriages stay together, in love, in forgiveness and reconciliation. A website called rejoiceministries.org has been a help for me. Pray for my marriage. I will pray for yours.
(USA) Hi, Thanks for your suggestion. My husband will not forgive me, this I know. I tried to reconcile and it didn’t work. He lost faith and trust in me. I messed up. You never know what will happen in this life, yet, I have lost hope in getting back together. I will try to do what is acceptable and right, and keep on keeping on. Hope and pray that you do the same.
(USA) Jane, Faith and trust takes time to rebuild. If he is the one you still love, and you want to do the right thing, start showing him your love in ways he can see. Are you divorced? I rented the movie "Fireproof" the other day. What an inspiration, because I too, struggle with hopelessness. I plan to buy the book, "The Love Dare" and do it, whether my wife rejects me or not. I also pray each day. It is God Himself, who will open our spouses eyes and hearts. I at least want to give my marriage and family my best shot and let God handle the outcome.
(USA) You are right, Chris. I will try to approach him in a different way, and give it some time. I am praying for you and your family, and I am going to rent "Fireproof" this weekend. Thanks for your sage advice.
(USA) Jane, May the Lord bless you with your beloved. We are waiting on God for a miracle. Waiting. It hurts. It hurts to think of another day passing by and not to have been able to share it with your love. To miss out on another day of being there with your kids, missing out on another day of memories and watching them grow up.
One thing though, it gets just a little bit easier to hold my head up. It is getting just a little easier to give love, whether I get it back or not. I want to give it. Have you checked out rejoiceministries.org? There are a lot of marriage miracle testimonies there to give us hope. We have to remember that God hears every prayer and I know it is His will that our covenant marriages prosper and be healed and families reunited. Let me know how Fireproof went…
(USA) Dear All. I just got to reading this blog when I Google searched on how to overcome the pain after an affair. It’s truly heartwarming to see so many people together not judging and admitting their most shameful secrets and supporting each other. My prayers are with you all,
I am recovering from a horrid affair which my husband is blissfully unaware of, nor does anyone know. I just want to talk of it with SOMEONE who understands. Please, I would really appreciate it if someone heard me out and comment if anyone can find the time to help.
The man I fell for was not only my lover, he was my best friend… or so I thought at that time. But I was just used and discarded like a dishrag without any regret… I have been helping him out and comforting him to this day. When he’s upset about anything, even after he said he does not love me and that he cannot taint his family name by getting together with a married woman. I know I’m at fault too, but does that mean I deserve all that? There’s a lot to this story and I just want some outlet please so that the pain can slowly ease off.
Today he calls to say that I can do one favor for him… to be his best friend and help to see him through rough patches. Like Jackie, I don’t know how the same mouth who serenaded me with loving words can say that to me without any regret… Please help me… God bless all you angels.
(CANADA) Hey All. I’m sorry for what you’re all going through. Imi welcome.You’ve been in my prayers. Chris, Jane, I’ve been really praying for you coz I’ve been following your comments.
I’d like to share a bit of my story. My marriage was restored after an affair and my husband had decided he was done with me and didn’t love me anymore. We still lived in the same house but slept in different rooms. We never used to talk to one another which was so hard and painful. About a year before things went form bad to worse God had spoken to me and told me to pray for my marriage which I did for like a day… I didn’t obey God which was the biggest mistake ever coz after that the affair happened and of course the lies.
Anyway, after I found out my heart tore into pieces and I wondered how am I gonna do this? Then through God’s grace, my husband agreed to go see our pastor with me. The pastor told me to pray and fight for our marriage and to have patience (long suffering). He also told my husband to read James 1:2-4 about giving thanks in all situations. That night I read the Bible and I prayed but because of my own sins I couldn’t really feel it. I asked for forgiveness and that’s when the journey began.
After the meeting, my husband never went back again and things got worse. He never used to sleep home which totally tore into me. I got down on my knees and God showed me where I had gone wrong in my marriage and how I never showed my husband any respect and that was hard. I was filled with resentment and I really had to push in prayer to be able to forgive both of them. They worked together so that didn’t help when he left to go to work. It was a hard time and of course giving up seemed the easy way to go.
God really showed Himself to me and every time I gave up God told me to get up and get on my knees and to trust Him. I told God I didn’t like the fact that they worked together and of course God is faithful coz the other woman left that company (I learned from my husband’s best friend who told me to ease my stress). I learned a lot about patience and faith and obedience. They still communicated and that hurt. I finally gave up and told God I’m sorry. I called our pastor and he told me not to give up and he prayed with me.
The next day my husband told me he didn’t want to end our marriage you can imagine my excitement. God is faithful. Things went from worse to worse I didn’t trust my husband and we argued a lot. The good thing is we saw our pastor together. They still talked with the other woman until I called her.
Anyway God did restore our marriage but it wasn’t easy coz of the trust issue. There was doubt and a lot of anger still and it took me a long time to even start praying for the other woman too. It’s a process and it took me close to a year to just tell God I let it go. I still get my doubts but I’ve learned to bite my tongue and pray. The devil waits for that doubt and he’ll press on it till you believe it.
OK, I just thought I’d share a bit so when I say what I wanted you know, that I’ve been there. God uses one person to change marriages. It will take a lot of patience and perseverance and faith to wait on the Lord. God has to teach you a lot of things and help you grow. He’ll use the pain to teach you how to lean on Him and only Him. Obey Him and wait on Him.
Jane your husband can forgive you. Just ask God to soften His heart. Pray for your wife to have a forgiving heart Chris. It’s hard to be on the other side but God is bigger that this. Jane, you can read a Wife’s Prayer by Pamela Hines. It’s a book of prayers for the answers to the problem. Chris, if you can, get The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian. And pray the Psalms. Psalms 119 about being obedient to God’s decrees and the part that says I just say your spouses name. Prayer is the only thing will work. God is with you.
Imi, the devil is lying to you… flee from this man. God has already blessed you with a husband. Get down on your knees and stop all contact with this person. Go to a church pastor who will help you or a friend who will be your prayer partner, someone you can trust who will hold your hand and make sure you stay away from this man. Use the Bible to help you and give you God’s guidance. I’ll be praying for you. God loves you all.
(USA) Anne, There are no words to express my relief and gratitude at seeing someone call my name and be with me on this… I have NO one to walk me through this at all, NO one I can trust. I come from a very conservative and highly educated background and mine was an arranged marriage. He had all the right credentials and the looks of a movie star so why should I refuse, as reluctant to get married as I was It seemed a match made in heaven? We didn’t have any earth shattering problems but our personalities are poles apart. He’s the down to earth, responsible guy while I like to let my hair down and have fun. I’m very outgoing and get very attached to my pals almost as to siblings cos I was like an only child cos my brother died when I was very small.
He didn’t approve of me going out of the way for friends and I wanted to give up my job as I didn’t want to do any further exams (you would not believe if I told what profession I am in considering the fact that my behaviour was far from professional) this started the first rift, and things got pretty ugly, he forced me to do my qualifying exams and I hated him for it. He was very stressed out about work as he’s very serious about the work he does and my "reluctance to contribute" to the finances seemed to him as lack of responsibility. I on the other hand thought that being the "housewife" to provide him with nourishment and support should make me a good enough wife. I do not waste money nor am I a bad home manager.
Then we were separated from each other as I went for a professional training back in my hometown. It was there that I met my AP he was a colleague… other co-workers warned me right off the bat that he was bad news. It seemed that he was having an "affair" in college with a batchmate who was already in a relationship. But he seemed to be so isolated from others and lonely that I felt sorry for him and reached out (stupid) we got close unbelievably fast and he confided in me about his past… that he was just best friends with this other girl and people misunderstood the relationship and used it to destroy both their reputations (I sneaked a peak at him txt messages and they backed his story). Yet this girl had fallen in love with him and most of her txts were teary cos he did not want her to share his life with.
Anyway, we got to talking all night and it happened one day when he kissed me, things went further and we were intimate. He said it was his first time and it showed. I didn’t know what to make of all this, by then I was not in love with my husband (we were talking but I wasn’t missing him as he said he was missing me). I didn’t know if I loved my AP either, but there was an immense intimacy and tenderness there and I wanted to protect him from any hurt. I believed it was love. He seemed so happy with me and all he did was profess his love to me. We even considered having a child together…a product of our love.
People were talking about us and we denied everything, but he was changing. He kept asking me where we were heading. Then one night after a terrible argument with my husband, I made a choice, I could not fool neither, I wanted to be with my AP and set my husband free so he can have the type of wife who made him proud. But when I told my AP that he completely froze and told to my face that it would bring shame on his family if he ever married me and that he cannot live with that!
I was shattered, my husband knew nothing yet I felt the weight of what I’d done. I wanted to fight for my love and begged my AP to love me till I finished the training, to just continue with no obligations. I actually hoped he’d grow to love me. We started fighting more and more, mostly cos I was demanding love from him which he wasn’t willing to give, yet he slept with me… even telling me at times I don’t love you and my priority are my parents and nothing can change that.
I cooked for him, spent most of my money on taking him out and buying him gifts, but mostly, I stood by him through and through, whenever he had problems at work, I’d stand up for him. He started coming to me less frequently, and the txts grew more distant. His family was bringing him marriage proposals, and he even went to see some of them despite assuring me he didn’t want to. Yet all through this, he hated to see me even talking to other men. He once went into a frenzy and cried all night saying he’ll never trust another woman again cos I went for an ice cream with a male friend.
Our training period came to an end yet we were asked to stay on for 3 more months helping out with the new trainees. I had another co worker who was beautiful, she was an extremely selfish woman who my AP hated from day one. Imagine my surprise when I found txt messages to her in his sent box asking her to not tell me that he was in contact with her. She was extremely attractive and he came out one day that he had noticed her from day one as she was "his type" she’s not the type to give a hoot about anybody so I can’t accept his explanation that he went to her for comforting words cos he was so upset over me.
She had to go away soon after the training but on the day of her leaving I found messages from him on HER inbox wishing "good luck, pretty girl." I was devastated. I forwarded the message to my phone and sent it to him demanding explanations, and he had told I hacked into her phone and she was pretty upset. He was fawning over her and comforting her the whole night. Then she got a blotched up medical investigation (which didn’t stop her from going to the beauty parlor to get a facial) which may have prevented her from going abroad to join her husband. And surprise surprise who was there holding her hand? All the while hiding it from me, all three of us would be in the same place and I’d look around to see that they’d suddenly disappeared together, never telling me. ok maybe she went to the doc, but why’d HE want to go?
Then one of my neighbors were proposed to him and my mom brought along the girl to meet him, he started warming to the idea immediately. I wanted to see what happened and played along teasing him about her etc. Not long after I’d see messages sent to her begging "not to throw these txts away" "please bear with this lonely fellow" etc. I later got to know from my co-worker that he sent her the identical messages. I should have known it since this was the exact approach he took with me.
When finally he invited my neighbour for a party and she declined (she didn’t like him much) he was so distraught that he spent days moping..of course I was stupid and vain enough to think it was due to losing me and let him spend the night in my room,of course ending up in intimacies.the very next day while I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face he txts me…"do you think your neighbor has found the perfect guy?" oh god!! I felt like…oh I have no words!!
I finally finished my training and my husband came to pick me up,by then we had come to an understanding of sorts and since AP was ignoring me and being very friendly with my co-worker I decided to give my marriage another chance. But the days leading up to my departure AP goes crazy, crying everyday…calling me up to profess his love… begging me not to go. But for some reason I kept to my initial decision and went away with my Husband. But throughout the way, I was in tears thinking of AP’s tear stained face and how much I wanted to care.
Back home again my problems started with my husband within a week. We were arguing daily and sex was forced. I’m ashamed to say, sometimes I had to remember AP’s face to bear it. I emailed him daily and lived for his replies,we bought web cams and skyped often, but our live conversations had to be formal as my husband was there.
I emailed him about my situation, how much I missed him and I was used by my husband… he never replied to any of those, all he said was that he was depressed ,lonely and sad. When I asked why he’d said its cos he missed me so badly. I wrote to him how much I was hurt due to the incidents with my co-worker. He said he did it all to hurt me deliberately, he just USED her to show me how it felt, but I kept asking why. I never hurt you like that. My love was always with you. He never replied to it. When questioned about my neighbor he says "cos you so genuinely wanted me to be with her I thought maybe I’ll try" but if he had any love for me at all why would he even consider it?
In one of his emails he said "in the end I started losing my love for you due to your tantrums." Yes its true, I yelled and cried, yet it was always to beg for his love. NO other demand was made. He says he never made me any promises. Did he think I’d sleep with any man? Didn’t he know that I slept with him cos I loved him?
He tells me I’m selfish and that cos he didn’t accept me I get mad at him. Was asking for love wrong. How can he just wake up one day and decide I’ve had enough? Don’t my feelings matter at all? Where is that love he professed so eloquently at first? Did I stay with him standing up for him giving up my reputation and self worth even when he kept on saying "I didn’t love you" for fun?
Till today its been such a roller coaster. I accuse, he denies, he accuses, I say I love him. One day he says "you’re my everything" the other day "you’re now with your husband so just live your life there.." I finally gave up and decided to stay away. Why should I burden him with my demands? Then he txts me daily saying "my life’s so empty I have nothing to look forward to" etc. Vain and stupid as I am I kept hoping and praying it’s cos he needs my love, as he’s been saying and doing contradictory things so far. But when I ask to name one thing he lost he says, I’ve lost nothing in particular. I just don’t seem to have the same scope or aim in life that others have. I explained to him that an aim is what you set for yourself and that you should be upset only if you lost something. Then he blurts out "I know you’ll hate me forever for ages to come. I just want you to be my best friend as before and help me get on with my life, encouraging me, then I can get on with it and be happy as before." Oh god !!!! What am I to say to that? Not only did he just discard me cos his "parents will be shamed" but now he wants me to spend my valuable time holding his hand through life!!! Till this day he lies to me. He promised that he’d lost all contacts with my co-worker since she left, but she tells me he emails her and I see his comments on her profile on FB.
I’ve decided to patch things up with my husband and so far have been succeeding. I’m trying to see things his way and he seems to have accepted me for what I am too,he knows nothing about it,though once or twice he suspected and asked me during my training period (which I denied). But I’m still haunted by the demons of the past, I still have dreams about me and AP’s happy past (we really were happy then) and still I can’t stop a smile when I imagine him visiting me here. I know I’ll cave in with a single sentimental txt from him. That’s what I’ve done so far… rush to comfort him in his need. That’s why I need encouragement. I need the strength to survive this. Some days I wake up in tears, sometimes I cant breathe. I may not love him as the final words finally made me see that all of this was not about me. It’s all about HIM, HIM, HIM! Yet I know this heart doesn’t want to let go of its illusions. I’m not very stupid, but emotions do cloud good judgment. Please help me through this, the next time I feel weak, I’m running to my computer cos I know SOMEONE is there for me.
I’m sorry that I rambled on for so long, but I just needed to get it off my chest… My husband is a good man. I have to be his good wife..yet why does the heart want what it knows what’s bad for it?
(USA) It’s going to take patience and time, and God’s wisdom to get through the pain I have caused by having an affair. Things happen in God’s time, not ours. If this helps anyone- I think I got into an affair because I was looking outside myself for happiness and excitement. When true contentment comes from within, through God.
I also looked to another person to validate me, and tell me wonderful things that made me feel good about myself. I don’t need someone to make me feel good or bad -because what I felt in the affair was a temporary fix. I was wrong, and I am not making excuses. I just don’t ever want to go down the wrong road again.
I am praying for you all, and will keep posting and following what you all say. It really means so much. I think the only way to end an affair is no contact what-so-ever with the person. So I pray for the strength to let go and move on. I keep you Chris, Imi and Anne in my prayers. I got to go to bed, hopefully for a good night’s rest absent of nightmares!
(USA) Its been five months today no contact. I have been doing great. Suddenly I’m feeling obsessed and compelled to call him. I tell myself it’s a sign and maybe something’s wrong. Like he’s actually calling me with his mind. Help please.
(CANADA) Hi Imi, I just read your story and I’m sorry for the pain that you’re going through. One thing you need to do is to pray hard. Only God can offer you what you need emotionally. Even your husband will never meet all your needs and he’s not supposed to; only God can. You need to realise that this other guy is using you and he’s gonna have other women (sorry). It’s not gonna be easy but you need to realise the devil is the father of all lies and his joy is to break marriages you need to fight and everytime you feel sad or hurt just pray and remember that God has a wonderful promise for you.
Read the Bible it has a lot of comfort and buy books too, like Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome by Nancy C Anderson and many more. It’s gonna take a lot of work, faith and patience. You’ll be fine. Many have overcome affairs and ended up having great marriages. Pray for your husband too everyday and don’t ever stop. God will change you through this process. You just have to allow Him. Hope to hear from you soon.
Janina, you’re doing good. Don’t listen to the devil’s lies. Remember his job is to destroy. Keep pushing in prayer. God will take away the temptation if you ask Him too. Take care gals. God’s blessings.
(USA) Anne, Thank you for your story. Thanks for the encouragement. It is hard to fight and believe through the pain, heartache, loneliness and rejection. I miss my wife, kids and family! Today I took my youngest daughter to the zoo. She had a good time but it was bittersweet as everything seems to be, seeing all the other intact families and learning to do things alone.
How I have made it for the past 5 months, I don’t even know. I pray that God, in His goodness and mercy, will end this trial, even if it’s just the pain and regret. I was at fault for adultery and many other mistakes in our marriage. I could not continue with it and leave my kids like that. God also gave me a love for my wife that I never knew before. How could she throw me away like that, without looking back? How could she deprive me of my kids 5 days a week, knowing how much they mean to me? How can she say the kids are better off this way? How could she at least not want to try to work things out after a 21 year relationship? Did she ever really love me?
All this is such an abrupt change in her attitude from all the past years. Maybe I’m just a selfish, clueless jerk and don’t realize what an affair does to the other person. I’m thankful that there are sites such as this, that give hope for marriages. You are really the only people who are believing God with me. I am starting on the book, "The Love Dare" from the movie "Fireproof". It will be hard to implement since me and my wife are separated but I pray God will give me the creativity to do things to show my wife how much I care and that He will bless these efforts.
Keep praying for me, that God will make me the man and husband I should be, and that my wife will find forgiveness for what I have done and that her love will be rekindled for me, that my kids will have an intact family again, and our marriage will be restored and so much better than it was. May God hear our prayers.
I did get some hope today. My brother, who is well aware of this situation, has been one to tell me that there is little hope for restoration. Today, after being discouraged by his words, he later came back and told me that he felt that God had told him to tell me to keep plugging along in my fight for my marriage and family. Praise God for that!
Jane, I hope you got to rent "Fireproof" this weekend and I look forward to hearing that it brought you hope as it did me.