I remember when early in our marriage, Barbara went through periods of doubt as to how she was doing as a new wife. I would encourage her saying, “You’re doing fine; you’re doing great.” But I felt powerless to really affirm her. [What she needed was something many wives need —women mentors.]
After we moved to Dallas, Barbara began attending a Bible study for young wives led by an older woman. This seasoned mother was on a mission. She loved coaching and encouraging these young moms. Under this woman’s mentoring, Barbara’s confidence soared as she saw that her struggles were not unique.
There’s no doubt that the early years of marriage are really important. Roles are hammered out. Adjustments are made. Expectations are clarified. It’s no wonder the divorce rate is the highest during the first five years of marriage.
Importance of a Mentor
I believe we could dramatically reduce divorce if more wives and mothers experienced what Barbara did —a mentor. A mentor is a woman who has been there —who has lived it. She has loved her husband faithfully (not perfectly) and has biblical values to pass on.
As Barbara says:
“A husband’s encouragement means a lot. But sometimes it doesn’t mean as much as another woman who has been there, who has done it. I’m talking about a woman who comes alongside you.”
A number of years ago I watched with fascination as a dozen young wives and mothers answered a question. What would you like to see your church provide for you as a wife and mother? They were very clear in their responses. These women didn’t want a video, a tape, a conference, another book, or a radio program. They wanted a real live mom to talk to and cry with—someone they could relate to and ask questions.
So I started challenging older wives and moms to become mentors. Their response? “We don’t have all the answers. We’ve made too many mistakes.”
Do you know what? That’s exactly the qualification you need to be a mentor.
This article came from the devotional book, Moments Together For Couples, written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, published by Regal Books. This is a collection of devotional thoughts for busy couples. It has practical works for husbands and wives who want to keep their trust in the Lord a daily focus and their commitment to each other a lifelong reality.
It’s something I (Cindy Wright) have learned in my own life experiences. I have mentored a number of young wives (and still am mentoring some). Believe me when I say that I certainly am not a perfect woman. And with the Lord’s help, I’ve come a long way (with more progress needed). But I’m leaning into the Lord, learning how to love and show respect to my husband as God would have me. What I have learned, I know other women can benefit from learning. So, with the love of the Lord, and His guiding, and leading, I’m investing in the lives of other women. I challenge you to do the same.
I know this is a calling by God, as written in Titus 2 for older women to mentor younger ones. They need our experience, and we need the challenges they bring our way. I KNOW my marriage is better because I am helping other wives to grow in their marriages. In finding resources for them, I benefit from what I learn too. Also, I can’t help them if I don’t walk the walk myself.
Please prayerfully consider reaching out to other gals to help them in their marriages. In order to do that, work on your own issues in your own marriage so you can reach out from a healthy place.
— To Help You Further —
Truewoman.com has an article, written by Kimberly Wagner, posted on their web site that we encourage you to read. To do so, please click onto:
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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