Yesterday we attended a beautiful wedding, honoring a very special couple. It was a joy to be there. However, we were a bit stuck on the gift we could give to celebrate their union. We found out ahead of time from the mother of the groom that this wouldn’t be a Christian wedding per se. That’s why we were stuck on the gift to give them. We always try to give wedding gifts that invest in the marriage. Things for the house and such are nice. But they are fleeting. However, when you invest in their marriage, the benefits can last for the rest of their lives together. Christian weddings are fairly easy to know what to give, but this one was a challenge.
Wedding Gifts That Invest
Some of the wedding gifts we’ve given are Christian books, and DVD’s on marriage (along with a gift of money). We knew that Christian resources wouldn’t set well with this couple, though. So, after praying about it God revealed how we could still invest in their marriage. Above all, we prayed for them. This is something we did, and will continue to do. But God revealed another gift too. It piggybacks off of a gift idea we also give marrying couples. We hope this idea inspires you in your gift-giving, as well.
We put together a jar titled, Growing Together… Discussion Questions and Marriage Tips Just for You. We’ve gotten great feedback from that gift in the past. We put discussion questions and marriage tips into the jar. This gives couples several opportunities for casual chat times together. Or it could give them several 22 Minute Date times they can spend with one another.
Here’s what we do (that you might want to copy as a gift idea). We purchase a nice looking clear canister jar. We then put into it a number of individual Discussion Questions and Marriage Tips that can help a couple grow in their marriage. Sharing and discussing them together a few each day usually works out best. (This particular gift included two jars of questions and marriage tips. We had a lot we wanted to share with them.)
For These Wedding Gifts, FYI:
We have a LOT of questions you can use, posted on the Marriage Missions web site. Grab that, which you believe can best help and inspire your couple. Copy them onto some nice paper. Just make sure you leave ample space between each one so you can cut them into strips to fold and put into the jar (or jars). We also tuck some money into an envelope and put it into the jar(s), to help them enjoy some date nights together. They’d like that.
You can find all kinds of questions posted in the Communication Tools topic. You can find marriage tips posted in the Social Media topic (under the Twitter and Facebook pages). For the couple I referred to previously, we had to discerningly pick and choose. We also looked on the Internet for additional ones that lined up scripturally, but weren’t overtly Christian. We sensed the Spirit telling us to be subtle on this matter at this time. “There is a time for everything under Heaven.” You just have to know what seeds to plant when, for a rich harvest later.
We made and taped a nice label on the front of the jar with the following explanation under the title.
Discussion Questions & Marriage Tips For You:
The questions and marriage tips within this jar are waiting
for you as a married couple to share with one another.
~ Pull a topic out of the jar to read out loud.
DISCUSS… REPEAT… ENJOY!!!”
We then wrote out a nice explanation of what this is all about—investing in their marriage, and put it into their wedding card. Here is a portion of what we wrote:
We want to wish you the happiest of marriages. How we pray this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey for you together. Yes, there will be tough times as well as endearing and good times. But we hope that you’ll grow closer together no matter what life throws your way. We LOVE marriage, and celebrate with you as you enter into yours. So, to help you to continue to celebrate we want to invest in your marriage. The wedding and reception is a great party to enjoy. But it’s a one-day event. We want to help you to enjoy your marriage from this day forward, as well. That is why we like to invest in the marriage, after the wedding. Our gift to you reflects this investment.
Relationship expert, John Gottman gives this key to building a good marriage that lasts a lifetime:
“The issue isn’t whether you fight, it’s how you fight and how rich your stockpile of good feelings is about each other to weather difficulties and keep your basic attitude toward your partner positive.”
So, to this end:
We are giving you the gift of some Growing Together Questions and Marriage Tips to help you grow closer. Pick a few of them at a time and take some intentional time together to connect. There’s also a little money tucked in to give you some dating money. Whatever you do, keep romancing and dating each other. It’s a way of stockpiling those “good feelings” that are so important.
Also, the Marriage Missions web site that is FILLED with “Communication and Conflict” and “Communication Tools” and articles that can help you to fight with each other in healthy ways (if you need the help). Please take advantage of what we offer. But whatever you do, please treat each other with love, respect, and honor. We pray your marriage relationship is blessed.
Concerning Wedding Gifts:
We often offer to mentor the couple for a year. This is something that intimidates many (potential mentor) couples that haven’t done this before. But it shouldn’t. It comes more naturally than many would think. If you’re interested in learning more, we have a topic on this web site dedicated to helping others who want to do this. You can find it in the Marriage Counseling and Mentoring topic.
Another thing we often give are Christian marriage books. Here is a list of some of the books (with links to the actual books on line):
- Sacred Marriage
- Devotions for a Sacred Marriage: A Year of Weekly Devotions for Couples
- Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration of Oneness in Marriage
- The First Five Years of Marriage
- The 5 Love Languages
- Love & Respect
- How We Love
- The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples
- Talk Easy, Listen Hard: Real Communication for Two Really Different People
- What Did You Expect?
- Your Marriage Masterpiece
I’m sure there are other ideas for wedding gifts you can think of to invest in the marriage of marrying couples beyond the wedding. We’d LOVE it if you could share your ideas as comments under this Insight that is posted on the web site. That way others we, and others can see them.
“Invest in your relationship [and the marriage relationships of others] as early as you can, as much as you can, and as often as you can.” (Krafsky)
May your marriage be blessed as you do!
Cindy and Steve Wright