What to Do With an Imperfect Spouse

Imperfect Spouse - AdobeStock_162093673 copyIs your spouse driving you half crazy with the things he/she does that make no sense to you? It may be difficult to understand why these habits would make sense to anyone. What are you to do with an imperfect spouse?

“Even if I’ve never met you, I know one thing is true about you: you’re married to an imperfect mate. And here’s the spiritual reality that flows from this difficult truth: even though our mate disappoints us and hurts us, the Bible still calls us to respect and appreciate our imperfect spouse.

“This is true whether you’re a husband (1 Peter 3:7) or a wife (Ephesians 5:33). How do we do this, in a practical sense? How can we honestly and sincerely respect and appreciate someone who is so imperfect?”

What Do You Do With an Imperfect Spouse?

The statements above come from an article titled, “Feeling Let Down? What to Do With an Imperfect Spouse,” written by Gary Thomas. It was featured in a past issue of Marriage Partnership Magazine.

What Gary writes about may seem a bit puzzling and radical, but we encourage you not to close your mind to learning more on this issue. The truth is, you can either do the same thing you’ve been doing, which probably isn’t working or you wouldn’t be searching for help, or you can adjust your thinking and try to look at and approach these “imperfections” in a different way —hoping you will get a better result —a spouse you can better live with.

In the above mentioned article, Gary Thomas makes 7 thought-provoking points which are worth reading! They truly could help to save your relationship!

Pray before reading, that God will teach you what you need to know, to apply to your marriage relationship in particular:

FEELING LET DOWN? What To Do with Imperfect Spouses


In another article, Gary Thomas takes that challenge further and goes on to write”

“Even if I’ve never met you, I know one thing that is true about you and your spouse: you’re both married to an imperfect mate.

“I also know another truth about you: the Bible calls you to still respect and appreciate your very imperfect spouse. This is true whether you’re a husband (1 Peter 3:7) or a wife (Ephesians 5:33).

“How do we do this, in a practical sense? How can we honestly and sincerely respect and appreciate someone who is so imperfect?”

To learn more, please read:


In this next article, Becky Zerby learned what an inventory of her husband’s shortcomings taught her. It was different than she thought. There was a twist involved, and it may be for you too, as you pray and then read.

Please click onto the web site link below to read:


In Closing:

The following is something that John and Robin Ackison wrote (in their article, “Finding the Perfect Marriage, Through an Imperfect Spouse”). It’s great advice that we all need to prayerfully consider:

“None of us are perfect, and none of us married a perfect spouse. We have to determine within our hearts that we will work it out with our spouse, whatever our IT may be, in prayer. For those who are single, find out as much as you can but recognize that there is always more that you will find out later. For those who are married, in a traditional or blended family, and are pulling back the layers of your spouse, remember that you married an imperfect individual but know that we serve a perfect God who has begun a good work in your spouse and He is faithful to complete it.”

We’re told in Philippians 1:6:

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions wrote this article.

If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

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3 responses to “What to Do With an Imperfect Spouse

  1. (CANADA)  “The List that Saved my Marriage” by Becky Zerby… Every woman who is poignantly feeling the imperfections of her husband needs to read this article! And what a precious wise mom Becky has- powerful counsel! Thank you Cindy.

    It just made me cry and fall on my knees in gratitude for the husband that the Lord has given me… yes in all of his imperfections …but in all of his rich, faithful qualities.

    I can remember early on in our marriage when I would whine to God about my frustrations, “My husband didn’t do this …and he wasn’t enough that… and why couldn’t he discuss feelings on this level and… blah, blah, blah…” I would go to the scriptures to justify the notions that I had, and every time the Lord would lead me to portions describing “faithfulness” …with scriptures such as, “a faithful man who can find?” in Proverbs.

    Finally a light came on for me.It wasn’t about my husband, it was about me learning to really love. I had a faithful, dependable, trustworthy man, who loved me and provided for me. God was teaching me about real, enduring love. He was teaching me to allow His grace and peace to flow out of a heart that believed in Him, and the best in my mate, and to respond out of a deep love and respect for him, regardless of the small character flaws that presented themselves.

    I have learned that we both have particular strengths that are unique to us, and when we bring them into the relationship we strengthen one another, making up for what is lacking in the other… His faithful provision for me, and practical examples of love provide security and trust in his dependability. My love and respect towards him produces trust in sharing his vulnerabilities with me. Each of us know that we are safe with the other and in that context God produces a quality of peace and love that we might not otherwise ever know.

  2. Requesting prayer for spouse who has moved out over a month ago: I pray for God’s protection, unfailing love, forgiveness, and guidance to be manifested in his life as well as mine. I pray for peace as we prepare to get a divorce.I have a strong conviction in my heart that makes me question whether this is the right decision.

    God, I am praying for your unfailing wisdom to guide us both regardless what others may say. May my husband have the spiritual strength and self-control to overcome any temptation during this very difficult time in both of our lives.

    Father, only you know his heart and his thoughts. There is nothing that we can do that can separate us from your love. Father, you offer forgiveness, peace and love. Give me the spiritual clarity to know that every decision I make from now on may not be based on what I want, but that it glorifies you. Praying God meets us at this point in our lives as we face such issues. I PRAY and believe in your precious name for healing in our marriage. Help me to stay encouraged and to see my husband’s strengths and spiritual abilities, not his weakness. Father I pray you help me to see him in a whole new light. Help me to continue to stay steadfast in your your Word. Help me to not concentrate on issues, problems, etch, but help me to see past those things to the things this world cannot offer. For those things are Eternal. In Your Mighty, Precious Name Jesus, Amen!

  3. I have learned after 40 Years of a very difficult marriage that I was so busy pointing my finger at my spouse and all the things I thought he did wrong, that I couldn’t see the log in my own eye! A very helpful tool (outside of God’s work through consistent reading of, and exposure to his Word, the work of the Holy Spirit; and regular attendance to a good Bible believing Church), is a book by Brad Bigney called Gospel Treason. So many of us who call ourselves Christian, unknowingly operate out of love and devotion towards our idols that we have erected in our hearts.

    That book will help expose the idols in your heart. Once you understand what motivates you, you can begin to repent of them and lay them down before God. He will bring healing in your marriage and your own soul for His glory!