The title of this Insight actually should be, “Don’t Trash Your Spouse on the Internet, or Anywhere Else.” The Internet has sure given spouses the ability to take “husband (or wife) bashing” to a whole new level.
We pointed it out a few weeks ago that Sin Can Be Catchy. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in a gathering as far as talking about our spouse in ways we shouldn’t.
Good and Bad on the Internet
But Facebook sure has given this opportunity a whole new and expanded audience. We’ve seen some great things on Facebook, but also have seen and heard some horrible things, as far as what spouses say about each other. We recently heard of one spouse (among many) who aired the other spouse’s faults on Facebook. Needless to say, this didn’t help them peaceably resolve their marriage problems.
We were listening to a Focus on the Family interview with Lysa Terkeust, when she made an important point on this issue. She said,
“Don’t hash, bash, or trash on the Internet. Remember, the Internet never forgets. Don’t let today’s reaction become tomorrow’s regret.”
Then she said,
“Don’t invite the public into your private pain by bashing the person [especially your spouse]. It’s not going to make things better by rehashing the rejection. That’s just going to make you feel a sense of shame in an even more public way.”
It also greatly complicates matters.
Live peaceably with your spouse
We’re told in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” It’s pretty difficult to “live peaceably” when you’re trashing, and bashing your spouse, privately or publicly. Your posting trash-talk on the Internet IS something that “depends on you.” Keep in mind that your computer is not your private kingdom that entitles you to say what you want.
Please take this advice seriously. Work your conflict out with each other in private. When it comes to what you say about each other in public,
Here’s some good advice from K. Jason Krafsky:
“Affirm your marriage and mate often. On the social network, proclaim your love for your spouse and what they do for you regularly. Just this week, several FB friends posted the following comments in their status update: ‘I’m madly in love with my wife,’ ‘I’m so proud of my husband for closing two deals this week,’ and ‘I can’t wait ‘til my wife gets back from Texas.’
“These kinds of messages can have a profound effect and encourage others to do the same. Every once in awhile it will spark a response like, “Sometimes these little comments are so sappy sweet —they make me want to barf!” But that is more the exception then the rule. Ultimately, your husband or wife benefits the most because they’ll receive another reminder that they are loved.” (From the Socialmedia.com article, “How Facebook Can Improve Your Marriage Relationship”)
To help you further, the following are some social media guidelines that could help you in your marriage:
• INTERNET AND TEXTING RULES FOR COUPLES
• IS FLIRTING ON THE INTERNET CONSIDERED CHEATING?
• INTERNET AND CELL PHONE SECRECY
Above all, follow Jesus.
“A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)
We challenge you to flood social media with positive, endearing comments about your husband or wife, reflecting the love of Christ.
May the Lord help in this mission of showing more love for your spouse, in more ways, through more avenues.
Cindy and Steve Wright
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Filed under: Social Media