Groomed to Be First Lady in the Church

Groomed to be First Lady in church - Pixabay - CanvaGod works in mysterious ways! He does the opposite of what we want. And yet as we yield to His ways, He turns that situation around to help us to line up with His will. And we’ll eventually even be happy about it! This includes being the First Lady in Church —the Pastor’s wife. He truly IS a miracle worker!

First Lady in Church

Being or becoming a pastor’s wife is one of those situations in which we can see Him work in miraculous ways. That is, if we truly seek His will, His heart, and His plan for our lives. It may even be rocky at times, but if we follow God’s will, the journey can be amazing.

“This first lady in her church readily admits that her initial years as first lady of the church she founded with her husband, Tony Evans, were two of the most difficult seasons she’s live through. To Lois Evans, the senior Pastor’s wife was a very isolated, much unappreciated role. It was a stifling position that a loving supportive wife accepted as her lot. She accepted it even as she mourned the slow death of her own gifts and talents.”

It was something she never wanted for her life and she told the Lord just that!

“At the age of 15 she told the Lord her heart was open to do whatever He wanted her to do —except be a pastor’s wife.”

God Had Different Plans

And yet, that’s exactly what happened! She eventually became a senior pastor’s wife. This happened even though her husband Tony, had told her at the beginning or their lives together that he wasn’t interested in being a pastor.

But through a turn of events, the Lord helped her to do what she needed to do through those first years. God then brought her to a time in life where she was able to bloom where she was planted. She now rejoices in this position.

To read more, please click onto the web site link below:


In Addition:

We found an article written by Dr Gary Chapman that can be helpful for those of you who are married to a minister. In this article, Gary gives “7 things minister’s wives must know to truly love their husbands.” Please click onto the web site link below to read:


Also, focusing on the Book of Galatians, author and speaker Beth Moore, lays out “six pairs of what she called ‘aggravators’ and their ‘alternatives’ associated with being the wife of a minister in today’s church.” To read this Baptist Press article, please click onto the web site link below:


Are you facing expectations that overwhelm you as a pastor’s wife? Most assuredly you do! Here’s a tip that may help you from Grace Clausing:

“It’s easy for wives to fall into the trap of feeling that they must meet and exceed certain expectations from church members. Amy Goen’s husband, Kyle, has been in the ministry for 17 years. He serves as the executive pastor at First Baptist Church in Smyrna, Tennessee. Dealing with church expectations, Goen encourages wives to be themselves. ‘Early on in ministry, I had some great mentors who encouraged me to just be who I was and not try to conform to someone’s expectations. Focus on what God expects,’ Goen says. Don’t be afraid to show the real you to the congregation, complete with flaws. It shows that you’re human and someone they can relate to.”

Do you want more tips? Read:


Lastly, Concerning Being a First Lady in Church:

And then there is an article edited by Whitney Hopler. It is one that can help you to find the “freedom and joy God wants you to have as a Pastor’s wife.” Please click onto the following web site link to read:


Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.

If you have additional tips you can share, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.

Print Post

Filed under: Pastors and Missionary Marriages

Join the Discussion

Please observe the following guidelines:

  • Try to be as positive as possible when you make a comment.
  • If there is name-calling, or profane language, it will be deleted.
  • The same goes with hurtful comments targeted at belittling others; we won't post them.
  • Recommendations for people to divorce will be edited out–that's a decision between them and God, not us.
  • If you have a criticism, please make it constructive.
  • Be mindful that this is an international ministry where cultural differences need to be considered.
  • Please honor the fact this is a Christ-centered web site.

We review all comments before posting them to reduce spam and offensive content.


54 responses to “Groomed to Be First Lady in the Church

  1. ‘best friend who I love, and mother of my children’ … What is missing in that!?! If you don’t know ‘first ladies’ I suggest you may indeed be the first… But who is the second and third? Lol. In actual fact our esteemed ‘First Lady’ was not his first… His second… The first he married…. Makes me the third lady I guess…

    Get off your self appointed pedestal girls. The only number to care about is how many times he looked outside your relationship for dinner, genuine intimacy and appreciation Whilst you are too busy being the ‘first lady.’ Can’t you see you are setting yourself up not to be the ‘last lady’ too? Choose wisely. #the last lady #men need sex and loving

  2. It’s wrong to have a “first” anyone in a church. It’s not biblical at all. Humans made this up. We’re all equal in the eyes of the Lord; the pastor’s wife isn’t more important and it’s not a dynasty. Show me in the Bible where this is a thing. It’s not. It’s just hubris in disguise.

  3. I am relatively new to being a pastor’s wife and would like to get additional information regarding “Groomed to be a First Lady”. Thank you!

    1. I’m not sure if you realize it but we have a whole topic on this web site dedicated to Pastors and Missionary Marriages (that of course, includes pastor’s wives). You can always find it in our Topics section by mousing over TOPICS and a drop down index will appear with that title. When you go into it you will find a variety of different articles, quotes, links, etc. But for now, I’ll just give you the link to that topic that will take you there: Hope you find it helpful.