Most pastors are expected to make pastoral calls frequently. But there are times when it’s a pastor’s wife who needs a pastoral call.
Sometimes we can read the signs. Other times we might need to be more subtle. When our daughter and her husband were expecting their first tiny treasure, they had a wall hanging with movable figures of man, woman, child, dog, and a coop. One only had to glance at it to see who, if anyone, was in the doghouse. Sometimes it was the baby!
Using a soft approach is the better part of wisdom. Areas that might cause dissension can be amicably discussed, and this is best done with a sense of humor. We ask the Lord for a measure of common sense and a sense of humor, and if we lack wisdom we ask God and He provides it.
Pastoral Call Needed for Lonely Family
When we were a young family in a new place of ministry, my husband, was a very goal-oriented person. He was gone day and night getting acquainted with people, the church, and the town. It seemed he would wear himself down. And it was lonely for the children and me.
I wanted to tell him that if he did himself in, the church could get another pastor, but his family would be in big trouble! Instead, I put a sign on the refrigerator that said, “Your wife needs a pastoral call.” The Lord, no doubt, inspired that action. He used it to change Charles’s approach to pastoral ministry. And it encouraged him to always block out time for us.
It seemed reasonable that if we chose to spend the rest of our lives together, we should become best friends and enjoy all the perks that exist in such a relationship. Over the years, we discovered that best friends love and support each other and build each other up. The best resource we have is prayer—if change is needed. God can change situations and He can change us. We have experienced God’s “awesome deeds” of healing and even sparing of life in answers to prayer. He is a miracle-working God!
Pastor AND Husband
I marvel at the way God has directed our lives. I love how He once planted the thought in each of us, separately, that He would be leading us from one pastorate to a new place. The whole process was so orchestrated by the Lord that we both had complete peace and confirmation in the decision.
In our early years, the Lord impressed upon me that in the pulpit, this man was my pastor and it was always so. Besides being my pastor, he has been my inspiration to read, study, and love the Word of God.
It was important to our family for home to be a sanctuary. We did plenty of entertaining and the children’s friends came and went. But there was this place, home, where the family was free to be comfortable. I love the Psalm that says, “I will walk in my house with blameless heart.” That is my continuing desire. My great yardstick for all relationships is given by One who knows: “Do to others what you would have them do to you.”
And, by His grace, that is my plan. My journey with Charles has brought me more joy than I can possibly say.
A special note written by Nancy Cobb:
“When the topic ‘The best thing I ever did for my marriage’ came up, Ruth’s first inclination was to say, ‘I stayed.’ But instead she shares lessons the Lord has given her along the way.
My first encounter with a godly woman was with Ruth. She is gentle, loving, and very funny. I can say with all my heart that the best thing Charles ever did for his marriage was to marry such a Christlike woman, and the same is true for Ruth. It was their example that prodded me to know Jesus personally.”
QUESTION: Does your example prod others to want to know more of Jesus?
This article is part of a chapter titled, “Your Wife Needs a Pastoral Call!” written by Ruth Denhart. It comes from the inspiring book, The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage: 50 Real Life Stories, compiled by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby, published by Multnomah Publishers. This book contains 50 eye-opening, often humorous true stories contributed by different women. The book is founded on the principles: “Sometimes the smallest thing can turn a marriage around. God’s best for your marriage may be one small decision away!”
— ALSO —
Please click on the Focus on the Family – Canada Clergy Care link below to read a related article titled:
Lastly, the ministry of Preach It Teach It offers this article for you to read on this subject:
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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