Heroes in Marriage

Heroes Pixabay love-687646_1920I was thinking about the Super Bowl football game (a sports event coming up this Sunday, which is a HUGE deal, here in the United States). Because it’s such a huge deal, its “heroes” often are propelled into the forefront of our attention. But they aren’t the only heroes we can look up to.

Today, as I was praying about this blog, the Lord brought to mind the football “hero” Drew Brees. He was voted to be the MVP (Most Valuable Player) of the 2010 Super Bowl game. But I’m sure to his wife, he is a MVS (Most Valuable Spouse) in how he approaches his marriage. You could call him a football hero. But you can also a “marriage hero.” Let me explain why he could hold this title.

Marriage Heroes

I came across a testimony, written by someone on a web site (Justmyconcerns.com). The author writes something noteworthy to prayerfully consider. The testimony starts out (and then continues):

“Thanks Drew Brees for your witness on marriage.”

“I was reading a Sports Illustrated magazine at my Dentists office. I’m not sure how old the issue is but it has Drew Brees of New Orleans Saints football team selected as Sports Man of the year.

“While reading the article I came across the following quote from Drew. ‘…When I put the wedding ring on Brittany’s finger, I said, for better or for worse, till death do us part,’ Period. No matter how bad it could possibly get, I am committed. It’s not about happiness. It’s not about feeling. I committed myself to her for the rest of my life, and I promise never to walk away.’

“I was surprised to hear this because usually you only hear negative stuff about sports figures, especially on relationships. Drew certainly speaks as a true champion. That’s because he takes his personal life just as serious as his professional life.

“Drew brings up a good point. Marriage will not always have happiness but certainly we strive for that and will get it through grace of God. There will be times when feelings for our spouse is dry. But we need to remember it’s not about feeling all the time and have to grind it out and believe that is what Drew is talking about.

“…We should try to get in tune with our feelings and if they are not there, then make a choice to ‘Love’ when we don’t feel like it. So thanks Drew for reminding us all out there that our marriage is work in progress and we are ‘never to walk away.’”

Not a Walk Away Spouse

Not being a “walk away” spouse also makes Drew a hero to his wife, for sure. It makes him mine, as well.

Recently, we had a man post a comment on this web site where he has decided to stay in his marriage. He decided to keep working on his relationship with his wife, when she appears not to have the same resolve to work through their issues. She ignores his pleas. And yet he still stays and has pledged to love her as Christ loves the church. As I read what he wrote, I thought to myself, “This man is a hero in my eyes. Whether his wife ever recognizes it or not, he is a hero.”

Drew Brees, this man, other (non-walk away) spouses who leave comments on this web site, and my husband Steve, are all heroes in my eyes.

Steve shows me continually that he is my hero, in the way that he joins with me to work through our issues. He also goes the extra mile to show me he cherishes me. Every day in little and big ways he makes me feel like I am the most loved and cherished wife in the world. I feel secure in his love.

Wives Who are Marriage Heroes

And it’s not just husbands who can be marital heroes either. We personally know a LOT of wives who are truly marriage heroes, as well. These are women who keep in the forefront of their minds that they made a vow to God and to their husbands to “love” for the rest of their lives. And this is no easy task, because we are sinners who are married to sinners. We do that, which we shouldn’t. We also don’t do that, which we should. Sometimes this is on purpose. Other times it’s because we are clueless as to how we should approach certain situations.

We go into this issue in a lot of other articles posted on this web site. However, one thing I do want to point out is that the way in which we look at and approach our spouse on everyday matters makes a HUGE difference in their interaction with us, as well. In a Focus on the Family article, author Juli Slattery gives the following insight:

“Wives have the power to frame husbands as either failures or as heroes. We are the mirror that reflects either their strengths or their weaknesses. Every choice, every word, every response has the potential to build or to tear down. The question we must ask ourselves is this, ‘How am I using my power?'” (From the article, “Are You Looking for the Hero in Your Husband?”)

The same goes for husbands. Are you using the power you have within your marriage to uplift your wife? Are you showing her by your words and deeds that she is the most important person in your life? When you do that, you motivate your spouse to be one of the marriage heroes I’m talking about.

There are Not A Lot of Heroes Out There

To me, husbands and wives who are able to do this show heroism. They go the extra mile in loving and giving grace. And it isn’t for the reason of being recognized, that they do this. They go the extra mile because the love of Christ compels them. And they would go that distance in showing love and grace whether anyone else ever knew about what they do, or not. Silent, unselfish heroism… I love it! And I love and admire those who live by those standards.

Thank you Steve, and Drew Brees, and all those other heroes in marriage. You are a living example of love in action.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you’(John 15:9-12).

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love(1 John 4:7-8).

Living Out Heroism in Marriage

May we all show heroism in the love and grace we live out, within our marriages. May we live in such a way that the love of Christ is revealed and reflected within our marriages. Love is to be shown by our words and our deeds, both behind closed doors and outside of them.

If your spouse has shown heroism in your marriage, could you please share it with us? This way we can be inspired all the more, and rejoice with you.

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.

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