Is Your Love Obvious to Your Spouse?

Love obvious AdobeStock_86427195-couple-hand-heart-copy.jpgConcerning obvious love in marriage, here’s something to consider:

“The day we stop learning and growing together is the day marriage becomes a holding pattern.” (Dr Robert Paul)

The day we pledge our love to each other on our wedding day this marital pattern starts off “holding” its own. Eventually, however, it will spiral downward in its growth if something isn’t done to infuse life into it. That’s something we’ve found in our own marriage. And it’s what we see in everyone’s else’s marriage, as well. The question is: Is your love obvious to your spouse?

Obvious Love Doesn’t Automatically Grow

It’s important to note a point that Dr Kevin Leman makes:

“Marriage has no automatic pilot. You can’t flick on a switch and lean back and forget about it. You have to stay at the controls, making adjustments, making it work. Every day you have to decide to love your mate.

“For some reason we seem to think that because we enter into marriage in love, our love will automatically continue to grow for each other after the wedding without putting any work into keeping it going strong. That type of reasoning is a lot like saying, ‘My car is filled up with plenty of fuel today, so it should be fine to keep using it from now on without doing anything else to it.’”

To Help Your Love Grow

So, today I’d like to share something with you that might help you to grow in your love, and also make your love even more obvious to your spouse. It’s written by  Harold and Bette Gillogly, (From the web site to help couples “Grow Towards Oneness”).

Periodically, they email romantic tips —one for wives and one for husbands. They also have an archive of past tips posted on their web site. We have a link to them in our Romantic Ideas Topic in the article titled, Romantic Tips for Husbands and Wives (along with additional tips). But I thought I’d pass along the tips Harold and Bette recently to sent us —great advice to:

Make your Love Obvious to Your Spouse!

Romantic Tip for Wives:

Whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others.(Mark 10:44-45 NLT) It’s time for you to serve your husband. You can do this by cleaning his car, giving him a back rub, doing something on his “Honey-Do” list. Other ideas are cooking his favorite dinner, making him popcorn and hot chocolate, cleaning the office or garage, etc. Pick the act of service that would mean the most to him, and do it. You’ll be walking in the steps of Jesus.

Romantic Tip for Husbands:

Locate your wife’s high school or college yearbook, get it out and open it with her. Ask her to tell you all about the pictures she is in. Ask her about her favorite teachers, her friends, her classes and all the things about it that she liked…or didn’t like. This can be an opportunity to explore a part of her life you’ve never explored before, so listen closely.

If your husband or wife responds better to another love languages, go to and choose a tip from his/her favorite language of love. The important thing is for you to make a concerted effort to do something special this month that proclaims your love for your mate!

Concerning growing more and more in love and making “your love obvious to your spouse,” I’m reminded of what we’re told in the Bible in 1 John 3:18. Below are three different translations concerning loving one another, so it’s as clear as possible.

New International Version:

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

New Living Translation:

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

English Standard Version:

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

It’s a matter of communicating love to our spouse with and without words. May we never forget this important mission so our love continues to grow. And that goes for Steve and me, as much as it does for you!

Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.

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Filed under: Marriage Blog

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