We are making a call for an army of encouragers to rise up to help those who need it. Please consider being part of this outreach. It’s a great cause.
Essentially, this “army” is made up of those who encourage and mentor others in their marriages. This is something we are asking of those who have healthy marriages. You may not have a “perfect” marriage (who does?). But if you have a good marriage —one that you keep growing, that’s mostly what it takes.
Maybe you are a wife, or are a husband, or maybe you are a married couple that can answer this call.
What is a mentor?
“A marriage mentor is a happy more experienced couple who empowers another married couple through sharing resources and relational experiences. It’s a broad definition because there is no one right way to mentor. Each mentoring relationship takes on its own style.” (Drs David and Jan Stoop)
It can also be one spouse encouraging another, on a one-on-one basis. Just make sure that husbands mentor husbands and wives mentor wives.
We’re asking for those who will be “difference makers” in helping others who are married. There are so many people who are quick to advise those who are married to “move on” when there are problems. But what we especially need is encouragers, rather than discouragers. It’s important that we make this more of a marriage friendly world, in helping one another so we can “run the race” more effectively.
Here’s something that Janet Thomas says about mentoring:
“Mentors are those who have walked a broken road and survived, to share your story, wisdom, and failures… as God leads you. Offer hope to those who can’t see past today! God allows us to go through trials because He has a greater purpose than we can see. One of those purposes is to comfort those on a similar journey. You understand what they are dealing with… when no one else can. You know how to pray for them. It may be that you can help them avoid things that you didn’t avoid. Guide them through the deep waters so that one day they can guide someone else. Most importantly, point them to the ultimate Guide: Jesus Christ!”
Keep in mind what Meg Wilson wrote:
“God’s Word makes it clear that we’re not meant to be individual islands. He calls us to meet together, to encourage one another, and to confess to other believers our struggles. He designed us to be in community and understands the meaning of synergy, the benefit of combined effort.”
So, that’s what we’re challenging you to do. Be an encourager. You don’t have to be a counselor, or have it all together. You just need to look to see where there is someone that could use some encouragement (perhaps, careful advice) and give it.
Ask God to show you how you can do this. You could teach a marriage class —a short termed one, or longer. Consider getting a group together at your church that wants to help marriages. You could brainstorm ideas and combine talents. Below are two links to articles that may help in some way:
Also, we can sure use help in this ministry.
Here are a few things you can do… to help those who reach out to Marriage Missions:
- We desperately need spouses who will come to our web site and pray for those who post on the Prayer Wall. Perhaps you can let that person know that you prayed for them.
- Encourage those who need it who leave comments on the Marriage Missions Facebook Page. It is so very, very needed! You could even find a link to an article posted on our web site that you could recommend to them that addresses their problem. Praying for them, leaving an encouraging word, or recommending an article could minister to their needs. Please prayerfully consider doing this.
- We also need those who will go into the articles and reach out to those who need uplifting, cheering them on. (On the Home Page of this web site, we have the “Latest Comments” posted on the side bar, near the bottom, if that helps.) Sometimes sharing an experience, and/or passing on a scripture can be helpful. Pray about it.
Below is something one of our “encouragers” wrote to someone who responded back to his earlier encouragement. We think it shows his heart, and ours, and furthermore, that it will be inspirational to you. There is no way that we can respond to every comment. That’s why comments from others, who can encourage (and sometimes give tidbits of advice) can be SO helpful!
Our friend in Christ wrote:
Hi, Yes God does work in mysterious ways. We have seen this many times, and there are always surprises waiting around the next corner. It is so good that you replied. Thank you so much! I see many requests and read such tragic stories. I write what I feel God is saying to me. It is my hope that the replies are read, and that the writers of the requests feel supported and cared for instead of forsaken and alone. Thank you :) WP (Work in Progress)
Here are More Ideas:
- Are you a writer? Please consider submitting something to Marriage Missions, for us to look over, that can help marriages. We especially love to share testimonies where spouses have come out on the victorious side of a difficult situation. Just send it in through the Contact Us link. Please send it in email form. Don’t send it in an attachment because we can’t open attachments.
- Consider adopting a topic or an article or several on this web site. Keep visiting it (or several) to see if you can minister to someone there. It can be a marital situation (topic) that you feel you have learned, and grown through, so you can be an encourager there.
- Add any additional tips you can think of to encourage others by “Joining in” the discussion below this Insight.
Whether you help in this ministry, and/or you look for ways to encourage elsewhere, be intentional about it. Pray about it. Ask God to give you eyes to see those who are married (or are considering marriage), who could use some encouragement. If you feel you can humbly give advice from things you have learned, do so prayerfully, with the boldness God can give you.
Mentoring is a Great Option
You can also ask your pastor if he knows of someone you can mentor for a period of time. Or ask him if he knows of someone who can mentor you, so you grow stronger and THEN you can mentor others.
We have articles, quotes, etc… posted on our web site that can show you how simple mentoring can be. They’re posted in the Marriage Counseling and Mentoring topic for your convenience.
“What is fundamental to look for in a mentor?”
Here’s some guidance from Meg Wilson:
“When deciding if a person or group is safe, the first step is always prayer. The Holy Spirit is able to give amazing insight.
- Next, look for people who are: • nonjudgmental (they don’t decide, they guide).
- They should be respectful (they set and observe healthy boundaries).
- It’s important that they are spiritual (they point to Christ not to pat religious answers).
- They should be listeners (they really hear you).
- Mentors need to be objective (they’re able to give and receive loving criticism).
- And they must be humble (they know when to say, “I don’t know”).
The Call for an Army of Mentors
We hope you will answer this call… this calling. Finally, remember what we are told in Titus 2:1-8:
“You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.
In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.“
Also, remember to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:13) We’re told in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” We hope and pray you will.
Cindy and Steve Wright
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Filed under: Marriage Insights