Confronters vs. Avoiders in Marital Conflict

Are you and your spouse both confronters or avoiders when you argue with each other? Or perhaps one of you is a confronter and the other is an avoider when it comes to conflict. It’s important to note: “There are as many ways to fight as there are personalities. Some Read More…

Needing to Give The Last Word

When you argue with your spouse do you find yourself needing to give the last word? Or maybe your spouse has that need. If that’s true, it’s important to note that this “habit” can be exhausting to the other spouse. It often prolongs your arguments. Plus, it makes your arguments Read More…

De-escalating Fights in Marriage

If Cindy and I (Steve) are going to be transparent with you we did not fight in healthy ways earlier in our marriage. In fact, our approach was quite toxic. It was all about “winner take all.” Does that ring familiar with how you and your spouse argue? If so, Read More…

De-escalating Fights in Marriage

It’s confession time. We did not fight in healthy ways with each other in the first years of our marriage. In fact, our approach was toxic. It was all about, “Winner takes all.” And that is anything but healthy. We yelled, screamed and acted childishly. And we are not proud Read More…

A Marriage Carol

Most of us have read the story of “A Christmas Carol.” But there is also a book titled A Marriage Carol, written by Chris Fabry and Gary Chapman that I hope every married couple will read. It’s a great read —one you may even want to give to others as Read More…

Spouses Fighting in Front of Children

In a previous Marriage Insight we wrote about spouses fighting in front of others. But what about spouses fighting in front of their children? Is that any healthier? Essentially, it is not! (We’ll explain why we say, “Essentially” later in this Insight.) What’s ironic is that a lot of parents Read More…

Spouses Arguing in Front of Others

Have you ever been with a married couple that argues with each other while you’re with them? As the arguing progresses, how do you feel? Awkward? Embarrassed? Closed in? Uncomfortable? Yes …we feel that way too. We know many others who feel that same awkwardness about spouses arguing in front Read More…

Is What You’re Doing the Wisest Approach?

You want change to happen in your marriage, but you don’t change what you’re currently doing about it even when you see it’s not working. Hmmm… the question comes to mind, “How’s that working for you?” If it’s working, then don’t change anything. But if it’s not, perhaps you need to make Read More…

Stubbornly Married for Life

When you think of the term stubbornly married what comes to mind? To us it means digging in and not letting anything separate you. It’s a matter of remembering Jesus’ words when He said, “What God has put together, let no man separate.” There are all kinds of things that Read More…