Do you go through times of dryness in your relationship with your spouse —where things just aren’t clicking? Yes, most of us do who are married. But what about in your relationship with God? Do you go through dry times in your relationship with Him? Are you talking in honesty with God?
What I’ve found is that these dry times affect the other. When I’m going through a dry time in my marriage, usually I’m going through one with God. And when I’m going through a dry time with God, it affects my marital relationship.
Talking in Honesty with God
What do you do when you’re going through a dry time with God? The simple answer is, you talk honestly about it to Him. Please consider the following advice given in this excerpt from a letter written by Francois Fenelon, a 17th century monk:
“Talk with God about the thoughts of which your heart is full. If you enjoy the presence of God, if you feel drawn to love Him, tell Him so. Such sensible passion will make the time of prayer fly without exhausting you. For all you’ll have to do is say what you feel.
“‘But what, you ask, are you to do in the times of dryness, inner resistance, and coldness?’ Do the same thing. Say equally what is in your heart! Tell God that you no longer feel any love for Him, that everything is a terrible blank to you. Tell Him that things concerning Him exhausts you. And tell Him that His presence doesn’t move you emotionally. Plus, tell Him that you long to leave Him for whatever comes your way, and that you won’t feel happy until you’ve left Him. This way you can turn your time into thinking about yourself. Tell Him all the evil you know about yourself.
How Can We Talk in Honesty with God?
“So, how can we even ask what there is to talk to God about? There’s so much! When you tell Him about your miseries, ask Him to cure them. Say to Him, ‘My God, you see my ingratitude, my inconsistency. Take my heart for I don’t know how to give it to You. Give me an inner distaste for external things. Give me crosses necessary to bring me back under your leadership. Have mercy on me in spite of myself!’
“In this way either God’s mercies or your own miseries will always give you enough to talk to Him about. The subject will never be exhausted. In either of these two states I’ve described, tell Him without hesitation everything that comes into your head, with simplicity and familiarity, as a little child sitting on its mothers knee.”
Ask God to Search You
It’s like the prayer that is given at the end of Psalm 139. The psalmist says, “Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts; see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me into life everlasting.” Ask God to search you, and then allow God to lead you in the way “everlasting.“
Spend time with God in complete honesty. Ask Him to reveal His character to you. And, give Him your uncompromising obedience.
And then, if you’re going through a dry time in your marriage, ask God to show you how to approach your spouse (and when). Make sure that you are honest, and yet kind so that you are, “speaking the truth in love” as we’re told to do in the Bible. Sometimes we are to be brutally honest. And other times we are to be guardedly, wisely honest. And other times, we’re just to take our honesty to God to help us to quietly deal with it. Ask God to lead you in the right way.
God can take all the honesty we give Him. But our spouse may not be able to take quite as much. As you pray about this, you will better know and be able to discern what you are to do.
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” (Proverbs 24:26)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
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Filed under: Spiritual Matters