I ran across something from an old Focus on the Family magazine where Deena McClure wrote the following, concerning the “job” of kissing:
“With our meal completed, I brought a homemade apple pie to the table, placed it in front of my husband and gave him a kiss. Our 6-year old, Mary, asked, ‘Why do you and Daddy kiss so much?’ Before I could reply, our 9-year old son interrupted, ‘because, silly, it’s their job!’”
The Importance of Kissing
This son saw the importance of having parents that kissed in plain view of others. Oh how we wish more married couples would see that importance! This brought to mind something that happened when we were babysitting our niece’s kids while their mommy was in the hospital delivering their baby brother. Steve and I were in the kitchen preparing lunch when he pulled me closer and gave me a big kiss. Just then my 4-year old niece came in and smiled. Steve remarked to her, “I do that because I love your Aunt Cindy.” She gave the cutest little giggle.
Later that day, she was drawing a chalk picture of some faces on the cement. I asked her who those people were. She said, “this is Uncle Steve and this is you.” She then drew the arms and legs. I remarked to her that I only had one arm and so did Uncle Steve. She said, ‘that’s because you’re hugging behind your backs.’ Then she smiled and said, “I saw you kiss.” I smiled and asked her how it made her feel. She said, “I liked it.”
That brought the fond memory to mind of our son David, when he was a little guy, and how he used to hug Steve and I together when he’d see us hugging each other. He seemed so happy to see his parents showing love to each other.
Something that Dr Debbie L. Cherry wrote confirms what I’m trying to convey here:
“One of the best things any of us can do for our children is to provide them with a strong marital model. Children need to know that their parents love not only them, but also each other. The child’s sense of security grows as he/she sees parents loving each other. To put your marriage on hold for 18 or more years while you raise the children is not only detrimental to the marriage, it’s devastating to the children. When the parental team breaks down and begins to disintegrate, the children become the biggest losers. When children don’t feel secure, their whole world seems to unravel. No amount of baseball, dance, piano lessons, or toys can make up for that kind of loss.”
Showing Children Marital Love
Christian married couples who show they are in love with each other are also a great witness to other children that need to see the love of God demonstrated in healthy ways within marriage. Here’s another piece of advice from Dr Cherry concerning this “job” of showing marital love:
“If you are always pushing your spouse aside for time with the children, you may want to consider just what you’re teaching your children. By the way you treat your spouse, are you modeling for your children how you hope they will treat their future spouses? Probably not. Spending time with your spouse not only draws the two of you closer together, but it also teaches your children that the marital relationship has to be our number one human relationship.”
As it concerns marriage and parenting, here’s something that Dr Kevin Leman has written is important to consider too:
“When I say, ‘don’t make your children the centerpiece of your home,” some couples react pretty strongly. They ask, ‘Well, why not?’ Here’s my answer: You don’t do it because it gives them the idea that they’re the centerpieces of the universe. And if that’s true, then where is Almighty God? And where are other people? Doesn’t this breed the kind of permissiveness and selfishness that we see in so many homes?”
We hope you will be intentional in making it your “job” to demonstrate love —particularly the love of Christ in every healthy way you can as a married couple. Do it for the benefit of your marriage, the benefit of your family, and the benefit of others that God brings your way.
Cindy and Steve Wright
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