The following are a number of quotes that Marriage Missions International individually sent out and then posted on our Twitter site as marriage tips, which can still be used in a variety of ways:
• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share, if desired.
• They can be used as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.
• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised, allowing the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speak further to them.
They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date (the guidelines are posted in the Romantic Idea topic). Just make sure, if you use these quotes in a dating situation, you don’t get into heated arguments over them.
The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges, not construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.
It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help, rather than hurt marriages. As you read them:
1. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
2. Do you have further thoughts on the issue, to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)
3. Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If possible, please share.)
The following are quotes to note for your use (each paragraph stands on its own —for your knowledge, the original sources are noted afterward in parenthesis):
Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. -Katherine Anne Porter
Holy matrimony, like other holy orders, was never intended as a comfort station for lazy people. -Mike Mason
The Golden Rule of a successful marriage: Whatever qualities you desire in a mate, develop first in yourself. – Josh McDowell (from book, “The Secret of Loving”).
My dad told me on the day of my wedding, ‘Never go in a place that you wouldn’t take your wife’ -David Gibbs, Mt. Juliet, TN, married 51 years (quote from Smart Marriages.com).
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:27).
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. -Leo Tolstoy
The bonds of matrimony are a great investment when you work to keep up the interest.
In your marriage, don’t neglect praying and dreaming together. “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18).
Let your conversation be always full of grace. – Colossians 4:6
“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.”
Often, we don’t lack the ability to resolve conflict in healthy ways; we lack the maturity. “Blessed are the peacemakers…” -Matthew 5:9
Most often it’s how you deal with problems, that is the problem –Emerson Eggerichs. A discerning man keeps wisdom in view –Proverbs 17:24.
Think BEFORE you speak. “He who guards his lips guards his life; but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” -Proverbs 13:3.
Being married to someone is not about me. That person is not my Prozac. They’re not meant to make me happy but to help me grow. –Dr John Townsend
Your relationship with each other should reflect your relationship with GOD. Once you become one, your ministry begins at home with each other. -Karen Greene (from a Marriage Missions facebook commenter on July 7, 2010)
May there be such oneness between you in your marriage that when one of you weeps, the other will taste salt. -M. Buxbaum
Marriage is a three-dimensional relationship: spouses relating to one another and each spouse relating to God. -David Ferguson
Marriage must constantly fight against a monster, which devours everything: routine. -Honore De Balzac
Try bombing your marriage battles with prayer instead of anger. It brings amazingly effective peace talks to the conflict. -S. Kendrick
You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work.” - Thomas Dreier
Husbands and wives: show your children that your marriage matters – make time for your spouse. – Rebecca Hagelin
This is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love. 2 John 1:6
Remember, a 35-year marriage does not guarantee a year number 36. Take nothing for granted just because you have it today. -Jim Smoke (quoted in book, “One Marriage Under God” by Dr Norm Wright)
We must do the things we once did when we beheld each other strictly through the eyes of affection and tenderness. –Moeller
It is better to forgive one another and be free than to be bound by the border-crossing demon called unforgiveness. – O. Oyebande. (From person who commented on our Facebook page on 8/8/10)
There is no better marriage than one in which the man & woman become one not just physically & emotionally, but spiritually too. -N. Wright (Norman H. Wright, from book, One Marriage Under God, p. 177)
When you speak to your spouse, remember: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” -Proverbs 15:1.
Kiss your spouse today with honesty: “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips” -Proverbs 24:26.
We have to quit going to church for our marriages and to Caesar (or the “world”) for our divorces. -Gary Thomas. Marriage matters to God.
When you see your spouse, remember: “Pleasant words are a honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” -Proverbs 16:24.
When you conflict with your spouse, remember: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” -Prov. 12:18.
Marriage is more than sharing a life together; it’s building a life together. Your purpose is to give glory to the image of God. -N Wright
Commitment to marriage implies that a person accepts the problems brought into the marriage by their spouse as mutual problems. –Anonymous
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control -Proverbs 29:11.
Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs -1 Corinthians 13:5.
Cling to your grudges and you will suffocate your marriage. Take a chance on letting them go and feel the freedom -Kevin Leman.
“A fool’s mouth is his undoing” -Proverbs 18:7a. “A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.”
If you keep your relationship right with God, you have a better chance of keeping it right with your marriage & family. -Nancy Moser
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. -Proverbs 3:3
Do right, because it IS right, until it feels right!’ -Collingsworth.
It’s not primarily your love that holds your marriage together; it’s your marriage commitment that holds your love together. -Adrian Rogers
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out -Proverbs 17:14.
If we’re too busy to be kind, we’re too busy … If you’re too busy, ask God to help you change your attitude and possibly your schedule.
With intentionality, converse with your spouse… ask: What was the funniest & also the most interesting thing that happened to you today?
Put some intentionality into communicating together as marriage partners. Strive to talk TO each other, rather than just AT each other.
Let us love one another, for love comes from God -1 John 4:7. Write a love message & tape it to the front door to welcome your spouse today.
It’s sad that often we honor people more in death than in life -S Stephens. Look for ways to show love & appreciation to your spouse TODAY.
Good listening skills do not come naturally; they take discipline -S Stephens. Try to truly hear what you spouse says with & without words.
Conflict isn’t a contest to be won. Even if your way is best, what good is it if you win the conflict & jeopardize the marriage? -S Stephens
Respect is the most important piece to the marriage puzzle. Without respect nothing else will fit together properly. -S Stephens
Treat your spouse with the respect God would have. “Respect speaks politely. It uses words & a tone of voice that translates into courtesy.”
Forgiveness is taking out the garbage. If we don’t grant & seek forgiveness daily, it starts smelling up our entire marriage -S Stephens.
Say what you mean …mean what you say, but don’t say it mean. “Be kind & compassionate to one another…” See: Ephesians 4:29-32.
If anyone considers himself religious & doesn’t keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself & his religion is worthless -James 1:26
How can you face God someday & say to Him, ‘I’m sorry, your daughter (son) isn’t good enough for me?’ Marriage challenges you. -Gary Thomas
May God grant you His grace to see the significance He has hidden like valuable treasure in the simple journey of being a family.-E. A. Motl
“Let creativity do its magic and surprise your spouse today with a gift hidden in some secret place.” (Idea from Dr Steve Stevens, from book, Marriage: Experiencing the Best)
Friendship is special. Keep it that way and don’t let friends undermine your character or your marriage -Dr Steve Stephens.
Love in marriage doesn’t lead you to commitment; commitment in marriage leads you to love -Adrian Rogers. “Love one another” -Jesus.
Go the extra mile to become transparent, trustworthy partners. Within marriage, spouses give their hearts to each other for “safekeeping.”
If you want a healthy relationship, deal directly with problems. A closed, defensive attitude is a sure recipe for trouble. -David Hawkins
Like our dentist says, “Only floss the teeth you want to keep,” so it is with marriage. Maintain the marriage to keep it. -Dr Hawkins
Remember how God has forgiven you. That alone should motivate all who consider themselves Christians to forgive. -S Stephens
Our spouse can be our most valuable asset. Why is it we often know our job, house, even our car better than we know our mate? -S Stephens (Dr Steve Stephens from book, “Experience the Best, page 69)
If you wait until you FEEL like loving, you’ll be stuck forever. A marriage that acts like a great marriage can become a great marriage. -Mort Fertel
Learn to love appropriately. Live an exemplary married life Jesus will be proud of, so everyone is involved in the praise of God.” –Peterson (Comes from facebook quote: In your marriage: “Learn to love appropriately. …Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God” -from The Message by Eugene Peterson paraphrasing Philippians 1:9-11).
May God grant you His grace to see the significance He has hidden like valuable treasure in the simple journey of being a family. -E. Motl (from the posted facebook quote: There are deep, spiritual ties to the simple, daily ways we treat our spouses and family. God designed marriage to have far more significance than our current culture estimates! Call me crazy, but I genuinely believe that if as Christians, we whole-heartedly sought God’s face and design in the area of family, that within one generation our world would look like a very different place! If we could all catch the vision of significance that a load of laundry done with the right heart, or a couple getting up early to pray with and for their family everyday might have, our lives and worlds would change! May God grant you His grace to see the significance He has hidden like valuable treasure in the simple journey of being a family. -E. A. Motl-E. A. Motl from the Crosswalk.com article, “Marriage: More than Mundane”)
My dad told me on the day of my wedding, ‘Never go in a place that you wouldn’t take your wife.’ -David Gibbs, married 51 years
They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be, but it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village. -Diane Sollee
Live within your marriage so that when your children think of fairness, caring & integrity, they think of you. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr
Any fool can have a trophy wife. It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage. -Diane Sollee
The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, & it must be equal. -Frank Pittman
Married life teaches us one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. -Jefferson Machamer
The most important marriage skill is listening to your partner in a way that they can’t possibly doubt that you love them. -Diane Sollee
Find the good — and praise it. -Alex Haley
May the wife make her husband glad to come home & may he make her sorry to see him leave -Martin Luther (& visa, versa).
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. -Leo Tolstoy
“It matters to God how you treat your spouse. You will be called to account for it. Knowing that should make us watch what we do & say.” (Stormie Omartian from book “The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage” page 54)
If God can raise Christ from the dead, He certainly can raise dead feelings & breathe new life into them, as we commit our marriages to Him.
Who is wooing you & has got your heart & your attention? Is it work? Golf? Is it ministry? Who would your spouse say it is? -Kirk Cameron
Don’t just follow your heart because your heart can be deceived… but LEAD your heart. -From Fireproof, the movie
A fruit of the Spirit is kindness. “Do you treat your spouse with kindness, or more with an ‘I expect you to be this way,’ attitude?”
Marriages don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt because they lack daily deposits of love, communication, & affirmation. -D Fields
“Couples who have a ‘sit down, look at me, let’s talk’ time each day have a higher level of intimacy than those who simply talk whenever.” (Gary Chapman from book, “Covenant Marriage” p. 39-40)
“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved” -Barbara Johnson. Love one another as Christ loves you.
You & your spouse can agree about something, but it can still be an issue if GOD doesn’t agree. -Stormie Omartian
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. -Zig Ziglar
“Similarities don’t produce partnership. What does? A commitment to each other’s personal growth & a deep commitment to oneness before God.” (True quote: “Similarities alone don’t produce partnerships. What does? A strong commitment to each other’s personal growth and a deep commitment to oneness before God.” from Kyria.com article: “A Team of Two”, by Renée S. Sanford)
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. -Ogden Nash
“Marriage is what keeps you together as you fall in and out … and in and out … and in and out of love.”
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