Reminders and Wake Up Calls – MM #342

Reminders Pixabay post-it-notes-1284667_1920We want to remind you that Marriage Missions provides quite a few opportunities for you to improve your marriage. These are reminders to take your marriage to a higher level of happiness and/or satisfaction.

Our Reminders:

• We send out Marriage Messages (now, Marriage Insights) to give you something pro-active once a week. The goal is to inspire and challenge you (and others that you send them to).

• We provide the Marriage Missions web site. There are well over a thousand articles posted (with more added every week). Plus there are videos you can watch on many different issues. Some are funny, some inspiring, some informative, and instructional. There are also hundreds of “Quotes” and “Testimonies” and “Recommended Resources and additional Web site Links” you can take advantage of, to help you on a variety of different topics.

• Within this web site we regularly posts new blogs. We also provide the opportunity for readers to leave comments that minister to many. We especially love it when someone posts a comment, prayer request, or question, and someone else ministers or provides insights in some way.

• In addition, we provide a Prayer Wall on the web site where you can leave marriage prayer requests or post your own prayer. You can also pray for other requests that are posted on that wall.

• We send out a Twitter quote (shorter and different than the Facebook quote) every day except Sunday.

• We post a marriage tip everyday on the Marriage Missions Facebook page, which you can visit.

With that said, for the rest of this Marriage Message, you will find below several quotes (some of them were posted on our Facebook page). These are helpful marriage reminders to apply (if you aren’t doing so already). Perhaps some of these quotes will even be wakeup calls for you to prayerfully consider.

So, here we go:

• Here’s a challenge for you… is this how you approach your marriage? Shaunti Feldhahn, in her book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages found in her research of well over a thousand mostly happy spouses that: “Happily married couples treat one another with intentional kindness. They joke and they challenge. But they try to never do it in ways their spouse would perceive as disrespectful or hurtful.” (Shaunti Feldhahn)

• “Why should we be kinder to strangers than we are to those we claim to love —particularly our spouse? ‘Like letting someone with only one item go ahead of you in the supermarket line, bring home to your spouse the same the decency and kindness you would show to someone you just met.’ (Michele Weiner-Davis) We’re told in Ephesians 4:32: ‘Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.‘”

• “If we strive to seek the Light, rather than striving to be right, a lot of our marital problems will resolve themselves.” Are you looking to Jesus —our Light, to help you to do and to say that, which really IS right? Just as Jesus did, sometimes NOT saying something is the right thing to do.”

• “Are you a right-fighter’ in the way you approach marital conflict? Right-fighting happens when someone is caught up in the emotionality of the fight to the extent of being willing to go to any length, by any means, to prove that he/she is ‘right’ —even if it means that the relationship is damaged, as a result. ‘Rightness, whenever it seeks to dominate, becomes wrongness, no matter how right it may be.'” (Mike Mason)

More Reminders:

• “Whatever you do, please don’t allow yourself to believe the lie that because you hurt so badly, solutions to cheat and do that which you should not …are acceptable. They are not. God’s biblical principles still apply. We’re told in 1 Peter 3:9: ‘Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.‘”

• “‘Don’t play the comparison game’ as far as comparing your spouse to someone else’s spouse, or someone else. It can cause BIG problems. ‘We all make mistakes, have bad habits, and annoying behaviors. When we compare a ‘new friend’ to our spouse, it’s an unfair comparison. That is because we aren’t seeing that person in a ‘living under the same roof, taking care of kids at 3 a.m., struggling to make ends meet’ reality.'” (Jill Savage)

• “There are two words that contribute a great amount toward safety in marriage. If spouses engage one another from the postures that these words represent, there is a strong likelihood the marriage will move in a direction that feels good. The two words are SOFT and SLOW. Slowing down and softening your tone of voice, your words, your body language and expressions, your pace, your heart, etc. can have dramatic effects. Try it on for size the next time you interact with your spouse and see what happens over time.” (From the National Institute of Marriage)

Additional Reminders:

• “Have you seen or heard from an old flame recently? Been tempted to search the Internet for an old flicker? Do you still have a box of letters or memorabilia from relationships of long ago? There’s only enough room in marriage for two. The best thing to do with an old flame that suddenly reappears is to put it out. And if your spouse struggles with jealousy, the best way to cast out fear is to cut off every ounce of oxygen from your mate’s insecurities, until he or she feels totally safe in your love. Leave nothing behind to feed the fears or fan the flames of an extramarital affair.” (From Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

•  Beware:

“Many people convince themselves that as long as there’s no sex, it’s not an affair. But it is. An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy that you put into the other person and are no longer giving your partner.” (Dr. Gail Saltz)Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.(Proverbs 5:15)

• “‘Keep your eyes on the prize.’ Your marriage is ‘the prize.’ Don’t let anything (even career or hobbies) take over 1st place. After the honeymoon, keep doing what you did to court before you got married. It’s been said, ‘Spoil your spouse…not your children.’ Your children are watching. They’ll love you for it. ‘Leave a legacy. A healthy marriage teaches children important lessons about their own relationships.'” (Judge James Sheridan)

• “God’s Word says we love Him through the ways we treat, serve, and love others (1 John 3:17; 4:11-21). So every conversation and interaction in your marriage is a new opportunity to bless your spouse and to demonstrate your love for God, as well. Ultimately, how you love and respect your mate reveals every day the sincerity of your love and respect for God.” (Stephen and Alex Kendrick)

We pray these reminders minister to your marriage. Please know that our prayers are with you,

Cindy and Steve Wright

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