Ask More Than Once – Mark Gungor

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2 responses to “Ask More Than Once – Mark Gungor

  1. My husband, after 34 years of marriage, had an affair. I figured it out and approached him about it. He admitted it. After much hurt and talking he asked me to forgive him and to please stay with him. I, because of still loving him very much and not wanting to throw away many years of marriage, agreed to stay. It has now been 2 years since then. My question is I am still having trouble with the forgiving and trust part. We do talk about it but it still haunts me almost every day. I wake up and it’s there, even when I talk to God and move on through my day. He tries to assure me that it’s only me he wants to be with but I’m having trouble with believing him. It’s also affecting our sex life. Go figure, eh. I want so badly to trust him and move on. Help.

    1. Diana, What you have been through is a horrific wounding. If you didn’t have a struggle with this, it would be surprising. You have been stabbed in the heart by your husband’s betrayal. You have been hurt as deeply as it gets with the pain one spouse can inflict upon the other. And yet, you are still standing, and working to move forward. I greatly admire you. Like they often say, “You go, girl.” Even though it may not seem like it, you ARE progressing forward.

      To help you further, please go into the “Surviving Infidelity” topic we provide on this web site (and any others that are applicable to some of the problems you’re having in your marriage). Prayerfully approach each article, quotes, testimonies, and recommended web sites and such to glean through them as God guides and helps you to process. With His guidance, and your gleaning and processing this along this painful journey, I have no doubt that you will get to a very good place in your marriage. It will just take more time and effort. Don’t give up. You are on the right track, even though it is a painful one. I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

      But I have to tell you that I have seen many, many, many spouses who have been betrayed (including my mom, after my dad left her for another woman, but then came back) get to a good place in their lives and marriages. It CAN happen. It DOES happen. I’m praying and believing with you that you will get there too. This haunting will eventually lessen as you give it less power (which prayer, belief in the goodness of God to help you, and taking advantage of the help that is out there through reading the articles etc., will help you to do).

      I pray God’s miracle in your life, and your marriage. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13) “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (Colossians 1:11) “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (Romans 15:5-6)