There is an attack in our world upon Christian marriages and upon families. It’s an attack to keep them unhealthy, weak, and breaking apart. This is especially true with military families.
Think about the tactics here though: if the enemy of our faith can keep us fighting against each other, we’re not fighting against the powers of spiritual darkness. Instead, we’re participating and cooperating with the tactics of the enemy. We’re so busy fighting within our homes, we can’t sufficiently fight that which is REALLY our enemy.
Our spouse is not our enemy. This is contrary to what you see happening. Our spouse may ACT like he or she is our enemy. But the real enemy is the one behind the scenes firing up the situation.
Especially Military Families
And this is true in military marriages, just as it is true in civilian marriages. We have to recognize who the REAL enemy is. And we must put our efforts into defeating THOSE enemy forces. The fight is not to be fought against our spouse, and not our marriages.
“Be strong in the Lord, and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:10-13)
Your Spouse is Not Your Enemy
Let me say it again this way: the enemy is NOT your spouse. The enemy of our faith would like for you to think otherwise. But you need to look beyond the smoke screen of what you immediately see in front of you. Look to what is behind the immediate, to what could be prompting this delusion. There is a mirage experience that you can be living out in your home.
Keep in mind that the real enemy is attacking the covenant vow you made with your spouse. It’s a sneaky maneuver to hurt to the heart of God. It is also meant to hurt you —the children of God. Tragically, there is a lot of participation going on between spouses to entertain the enemy. This gives in to the deception whenever there is a war going on within the home, and when the partnership and marital team is disintegrating.
The following is a short excerpt from a radio broadcast interview that Dennis Rainey (Family Life Today Ministries) had with three Bronze Star ex-green beret, Stu Weber on this same subject.
The Attack at Home:
Because of the attack on commitment today, the covenants and vows, and marriage is no longer viewed as a lifetime partnership. I think a lot of couples in the military are really setting themselves up for a disaster, as one leaves for six months to a year to leave their spouse alone, to deal with temptations. Speak to that person who is being left, Stu.
Well, I would speak to both marriage partners about the nature of a vow. Certainly, if we can take a commission in the military to defend the Constitution at the expense of our own lives, if necessary, how much more would we be able to commit ourselves to our marriages at the expense of a simple lifetime. Certainly, we should be able to understand that both of those things are lifetime commitments. They both demand everything we have.
If the thing in a soldier that makes his spine strong in the face of disaster and pain and unpleasantries is there that makes him a good soldier, how much more ought those same things to be present in the things that really matter? I’m talking about a relationship. Sometimes a relationship needs just to rely upon the fact that it’s got a spine. And that spine is the commitment and the oath and the promise that I made to my lady when we stood before God and friends at our marriage. I’ll never go back on that.
Now, there are days when I don’t like it, or I don’t enjoy it. But it doesn’t change the covenant a bit. There are days in soldiering where you don’t like it, but you’re still there willing to pay the price.
Paying the Price
You are willing to pay the price in soldiering for your country. Are you willing to pay the price for your soldiering in God’s army to make your marriage and your family stronger and not fall into the deceit of the enemy of your faith?
Unfortunately, the broadcast where the above manuscript came from, is no longer available to read or listen to. How we wish it could be different. I did, however, come across a few articles on the Internet that may help as you read them. I encourage you to pray about what God may be leading you to do.
Marriages aren’t built on a romantic balcony. They are instead, built on a spiritual battlefield. Below are two web site links to articles published in HomeLife Magazine, which may be able to further in this “battlefield.” They can help you to “stand strong” in your marriage. Please click onto the Lifeway.com link below to read:
— ALSO —
I came across a devotional online that goes hand in hand with The Love Dare book and the challenges made in it. This particular devotional is designed to be used by military spouses who are trying to survive deployment issues. If you would like to, take the challenge:
“The Love dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. This is whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong. ‘The Love Dare’ is a journey you need to take. It’s time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. Take the dare!”
“If you and your spouse are separated by deployment, but want to grow closer to each other and deal with the challenges of marriage, add these comments each day to what the authors have ‘dared.’
“Actually, in some ways, The Love Dare is easier to do while separated! Don’t let Satan deceive you into thinking that it is not possible to grow together when duty calls you apart!”
Below is a link to the Excellent or Praiseworthy web site, which has a tool you can use to help you in your marriage relationship. You will see on the side bar that there are 40 days of devotional pages that you can use one day at a time for 40 days, of course. And unlike it says in the intro, you can use them successively for 40 days, whatever start date you decide. Read, enjoy, and take the challenge:
Lean on God
Finally, in closing, below is something written by “Semper Wife” that you may relate to, and which I hope will inspire you:
“The military life is a very painful one. We are constantly surrounded by hurting people, and many times we feel the pain in our own home. Separations due to deployments, detachments, and death bring silent tears to those that left and those that were left behind. Military families all over the world are in pain and hurting. I have no answers and can offer little comfort.
“But my God can offer all of the comfort we will ever need. Lean on Him. Trust in His will. Love Him. That’s the only way I know to get through this kind of pain. Pray for God’s comfort. Pray for our military families. And pray for your family.
“In my distress I called to the LORD.
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice.
My cry came before him, into his ears.” (Psalm 18:6)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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