We are continually asked questions about various sexual issues. Because we aren’t sex therapists, it is a challenge for us to answer those questions. However, we are always on the lookout to find answers for those of you who are questioning. We look for answers that don’t contradict God’s principles.
In our quest, we found the web site of Passionate Commitment. This web site is put together by sex therapists Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner and their staff. On their helpful web site they address the following questions.
Frequently Asked Questions About Sexual Issues:
• Is Quickie Sex Okay?
• Should We Strive to Achieve Simultaneous Orgasms?
• Deciding on Birth Control
• Reduced Sex Drive After Children
• Finding Privacy For Sex with Kids in the House
• Kids Barging into Parent’s Bedroom
• Positions for Maximum Pleasure
• Inhibited About Appearance
• Adapting to Body Disfigurement
• Turned Off By Weight Gain
• Facing a Hysterectomy
• How do we Guard Against Lust?
• Re-establishing a Love Life After an Affair
• Disturbing Sexual Requests
• Anal Sex
• Uncomfortable with Oral Sex
• Is Masturbation Wrong?
• Diminished Sexual Excitement
• Husband with a Low Libido
• Difficulty Getting an Erection
• PMS Interrupting Sex Life
• Painful Intercourse
• Plagued by Premature Ejaculation
• Haunted by Childhood Sexual Abuse
• Female Ejaculation
• Penis Size
• Headache During Sex
• Sex in the Later Years
We wish that we could link you directly to each one of these questions, however, that isn’t possible. So, to read the articles posted for each subject you will need to do the following:
- Visit the web site: Passionatecommitment.com
- Click on “FAQ’s about Sex” (on the left side bar of the home page)
- Select the article you want to read (you may even want to obtain a resource or register for a seminar, etc. to find further help).
Plus, Concerning Sexual Issues:
Here’s an article that deals with questions asked, concerning sex. It comes in the form of giving quiz questions you can answer. It then gives the answers the New York Times newspaper gives. But then there are comments on how the Bible approaches those answers. It’s an interesting angle. See what you think. Please click onto the Crosswalk.com link to read:
— ALSO —
From other web sites, please click onto the links below to read:
Lastly, below are additional tips from various therapists and marriage “experts” that we hope will help you.
Marriage Tips on Sexual Issues:
• Become a student of your spouse’s sexual zones. A woman has more erogenous zones than just her breasts and vagina. Explore with her, and discover where she’s most responsive. Kiss, stroke, or caress each body part. Ask, “How does this feel? Does it make you tingle? What would make you feel even more tingly—if I caressed less or more?” Remember that although it’s good to work toward climax, the journey is pretty unbelievable too. (Gary and Barbara Rosberg)
• In marriage a couple may do anything in their sexual play that meets five specific criteria: (1) It’s just the two of you. (2) You allow mutual respect and agreement to guide your choices of sexual play. (3) It causes no pain physically, emotionally, or spiritually. (4) You keep the focus on your relationship. When having sexual release becomes an addiction driven to levels of compulsive behavior, replacing the connection to your spouse with various stimuli that are essentially fantasy based, you rob your marriage of the most crucial part of intimacy—the blend of relational and sexual connectedness. (5) It doesn’t always take the place of genital union. (Louis and Melissa McBurney)
• Sex is about physical touch, to be sure, but it is about far more than physical touch. It is about what is going on inside us. Developing a fulfilling sex life means I concern myself more with bringing generosity and service to bed than bringing washboard abdomens. It means I see my wife as a holy temple of God, not just as a tantalizing human body. It means that sex becomes a form of physical prayer —a picture of a heavenly intimacy that rivals the shekinah glory of old. —Gary Thomas
• The big O is not orgasm. The big O is oneness. It’s not how great the bodies or how great the orgasm. It’s, Was that a loving experience where we shared with each other? Was it contributing to our oneness? (Christopher McCluskey)
• So often couples feel the pressure to have “perfect” sex—complete with earthquake, fireworks, and multiple orgasms. Not every time you have sex will be a “bell ringer.” And that’s okay, because you’re both connecting. Sometimes sex will be a quickie to meet the need of the moment. Sometimes it will be functional sex, or just because sex, when you think, I’m not in the mood, but my spouse needs me right now. And sometimes it may be comfort sex. This is when life has brought devastation and the only comfort and security is to be found in the arms of your spouse as a lover.
You’ll be ahead when you understand that the different kinds of sex point to the ultimate reason for sex: the relationship. The goal is not whether you end with a climax. The goal is that you’re connecting as a couple. (Gary and Barbara Rosberg)
• A woman may say, “I don’t want to have sex.” But her husband hears, “I don’t want to have sex with you.” Saying, “Not now” instead of, “No” lets a husband grasp it will happen, just not at that moment. But be sure to make time for intimacy within the next 24-48 hours or hubby will start to believe that “not now” is the same as “no.” (Shay and Robert Roop)
• How often is normal? It’s as if there’s some grand scale of “normalcy” that everyone wants to fit in. Just because you don’t have the same libido as your wife’s friends’ husbands doesn’t indicate an “abnormality.” This isn’t a competition. There’s no normal frequency of intercourse. It’s whatever is right for you as a couple. (Louis and Melissa McBurney)
• Evaluate your priorities. We need to be careful we aren’t always putting something else ahead of sex. This includes television programs, paying the bills, getting our child her third drink of water. It’s too easy to think, Oh, well, there’s always tomorrow. Sometimes we need to heed the feelings-follow-actions dictum and decide to have sex. (Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse)
• A mutually rewarding sexual relationship demands that both husband and wife deny “self” and meet their mate’s needs. (Dennis Rainey)
• The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and like-wise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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