It’s often said that grandchildren are “the dessert of life” for those of us who have them. And we can attest to that! They are a delight to our hearts and lives! Grandparents have all the fun without the responsibility (unless you are raising them, of course).
But what happens when these children, who delight your heart so much, are torn apart by divorce?
What happens to your ability to be able to be such a big part of their lives in the present and future? This is particularly relevant if your son or daughter doesn’t have custody of the children (and there is a huge relationship strain involved which puts you on the “outs”).
Heartbreaking Situation for Grandparents
It’s heart-breaking enough for all involved — especially the children. They are no longer able to have both parents living with them in the same home. But then, not to have the ability to have their grandparents as involved in their lives like before, makes life even tougher for them.
And what about the grandparents? They say that the children are the innocent victims in a divorce. And they are. But the (non-interfering) grandparents also become victims. That is because they are most often caught in the fray of all that comes with divorce. Their ability to be with their grandchildren is many times limited. And sometimes it’s even cut off because of the changes and the tension of the situation.
What are grandparents able to do, so they can still be involved in the lives of their grandchildren?
Please read the following article, written by Rachel Pollack, so you can gain a clearer understanding of this situation:
Below is a link to a related article we recommend you read that gives grandparents ideas on:
And here’s another article you may benefit from reading, as well, concerning what you can do as a grandparent to help your grandchildren, with the huge adjustments they have to deal with:
If you are divorcing, please consider the grandparents, and their grandchildren… your children. I know you have a lot that you are trying to juggle, especially emotionally. But please don’t allow the separation of your marriage to block these family members from continuing to develop a loving relationship.
You can put reasonable boundaries into place, but to the best of your ability, please make a way for these family members to still be together, when it is possible.
EVERYONE has the opportunity to benefit in multiple ways if relationship bridges are still allowed to be built with outside family members (even your ex-spouse’s) and your children. Give grace whenever you can.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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Filed under: Separation and Divorce