Humorous Differences: Male and Female – MM #261

Humorous differences - Graphicstock_BFAlg8oAHo copyThe Bible tells us “laughter is as good medicine” —and it is. Laughter actually causes a cleansing within. There are all kinds of medical benefits to laughing. So it’s our aim to possibly put a little medicine into your day today. This is to help you medically and hopefully brighten your day a bit. We’re going to touch on humorous differences between a male and a female.

The saying goes: “If you can’t laugh about it, you’ll probably cry. So why not laugh?” That is the point of this Marriage Message. We’re highlighting some of the humorous differences between men and women.

Our Humorous Differences

Most of us know there are a multitude of differences between men and women. What Steve and I have found is that if we don’t recognize and work WITH our differences rather than letting them get the better of us, we’ll explode in frustration. It’s good to do the best we can to bridge our differences. But with the rest, it is good to keep in mind something I’ve heard repeated many times. “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break.” (Sometimes applying the “laugh or you’ll cry” principle can be helpful.)

With that said, we’re sharing a funny piece sent to us on male/female differences. Some of the humor is cultural so those from other countries might not understand why it’s funny to Americans. That’s ok… just move on to the next point. Hopefully you’ll see humor in that one. And, please note that sometimes the pronouns will need to be switched in some cases concerning certain men and women… we know that. Not all general references apply for ALL men and ALL women.

So, just relax, and have fun with this Internet piece. May it bring a smile to your face!

1. NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Peanut-Head.

2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out comes their pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, because it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom. He has a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.

6. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

8. MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

9. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

10. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

11. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

12. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

So, did we tickle your funny bone? We hope so. We also hope you’ll work to look for humor in the serious times in your life together. You’ll find it to be truly healing. It can be the best medicine that could be prescribed! It sure has helped us within our marriage. And we believe it can help you too.

It’s like what Drs Les and Leslie Parrott say,

“If you’re like most people, you can take life and yourself a little too seriously, and that always stunts laughter. So lighten up. Relax. Remember what really matters.”

Cindy and Steve Wright

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