This is an optional tool for mentoring couples to use with the married couples you meet with.
The following are questions you can ask:
- What do you consider to be the role of the husband in your marriage?
- What do you consider to be the role of the wife in your marriage?
- On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your satisfaction in your marriage? (1 = you’re not satisfied at all, and 10 = you’re delighted with how things are going.)
- Share what you see as the top 3 strengths in your marriage?
- What three things would you most like to change about yourself as a spouse? Why?
- What do you see as the specific needs you have as a married couple?
- In your married life, what are the greatest challenges you’ve experienced?
- Do you spend time building your relationship together by dating each other each week? If not, why not?
- Do you spend planning time together weekly discussing family matters, unresolved issues, scheduled events, budgeting, household and yard tasks, blessings, and other concerns? If not, would you like help with that?
- Are you satisfied with the ways in which you and your spouse resolve conflicts? Do you think you’re able to resolve them in a healthy, respectful manner? If not, what seems to be the problem?
- Are you as close to God as a couple as you’d like? If not, what’s holding you back?
- Share some goals you have together? What do you think God wants to do through you as a married couple that He may not have done through you as individuals?
- What kind of a marriage do you want to build?
Also ask:
- How do you picture your marriage in 10 years, (ideally)?
- What makes you feel “loved, honored, and cherished” by your spouse?
- How would you describe your relationship with each of your family members when you were growing up?
- What is your relationship like with them now?
- Do you think your relationship with family members brings stress to your marriage? If so, how?
- What is your relationship like with your In-laws?
- Are there relational bridges you need or want to build or rebuild with your families? If so, what are they?
- Are there any marriage issues, in which you would like to gain insights on today?
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote these questions.
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Filed under: Communication Tools Marriage Counseling & Mentoring