It would make sense that if you had a romantic life together before you married, it should continue after you’re married. But life often times gets in the way, with all that comes at us in our busy life. Sometimes we can find ourselves at a place where we are romantically challenged.
Let’s face it:
“Marriage is difficult! Somewhere between ‘We are gathered here today’ and ’til death do us part’ there is a lot of real life going on. There are ups and downs, highlights and failures, dreams attained and dreams lost. Real-life marriage is hard. It’s a balancing act of jobs, children, friends, in-laws, paying bills, cooking meals and maintaining a home.
“Not only these, but we also deal with transitions to different stages of marriage. We’re adjusting as newlyweds, working dual careers, having kids, kids growing up, moving, changing jobs, and growing older.
“Often the one we’re supposed to love most is lost in the confusion of life. You need to put activities into your life together to help you to enjoy and encourage each other as husband and wife. It’s important to also foster talking, learning and growing together.” (From “Help! We’re Married… An Activity Calendar for Couples” by Kandi Arnold, Andrea Devin, and Dale Sprowl)
Making Life Work
Don’t you find that to be true? It seems the people you say you love the most are often the ones you put off behind all of the busyness that comes rushing in at you. A whole lot of energy goes into making life “work.” And yet what about making your marriage work and infusing romance back into your lives together?
If the marriage stops “working” haven’t you lost a lot more than you’ve gained despite your busyness? What if you “gain the whole world” and lose your marriage in the process?
So, are you looking for a few simple ideas to start connect romantically with your spouse? Are you feeling a bit romantically challenged (the desire is there to make the effort but the ideas aren’t)? We’re going to send you to a few web site links where there are articles posted that just might help you!
For the Romantically Challenged
First, please click onto the article below to read:
• ROMANTIC IDEAS FOR ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED SPOUSES
And then here are some creative ideas to help you enjoy spending time on a “date” with each other that author Ginger Koloba gives:
“Read a book of short stories out loud to each other. Try different voices for the characters even! You can pick up a book at the library (so it’s a free date!), go to a park, a coffee shop, or even just hang out at home. Each of you gets a chance to read. Then talk about what you liked about the story or what you didn’t like. Was the writing strong? Did the words flow smoothly? Did the dialogue seem realistic? Which character in the story would you like to be or not be? Why? Then take a turn at rewriting the story and tell each other how you would have changed it.”
Here’s another one:
“People watch. Go some place where you can watch people for a while. A park or a mall is a great place. Then grab a cup of coffee or a soda, sit, hold hands, and don’t talk. Just watch people. Then after a little while, talk about what you noticed. How did the people treat one another? How did they talk to one another? Was it respectful? Joyful? Did one walk faster than the others? Then talk about what you learned about yourself through watching others: ‘Sometimes I get so single-focused, I can leave you behind. But I don’t mean to.’ Or ‘I realized that the woman talked so harshly to her husband. I don’t ever want to talk to you in that kind of tone.’ Don’t make it a time to point the finger at what your spouse may be doing—keep it focused on what you’ve learned about yourself.” (From the Todayschristianwoman.com article, “Eight Great Date Nights”)
We found a list of date night ideas on About.com which have some options you can use in your romantic times together. This is not a Christian web site. So a few suggestions might not be what you would want to use. But you may find others helpful. Plus, as you scroll down you will find “Related Articles” and links to additional ideas:
On this subject, please, don’t forget to hold hands together. It’s something that has brought so many good feelings with my husband Steve and me (we’ve been married over 40 years). I’m reminded of something Donna Frisinger wrote.
“My stepdad was just beginning to come out of the anesthetic after minor surgery. As I watched him regain consciousness, before he even opened his eyes, he reached for my mother’s hand. A simple act, yet so profound. It was a straightforward, spontaneous reflex that said, I need you. I love you. I’m so glad you’re here for me.
“I remember the first time my husband reached for my hand. It was our first date, and we were at a theater to see The Sound of Music. Somewhere between “Climb Every Mountain” and “Something Good,” I felt him cautiously span the short distance to grasp my fingers, then hold on for dear life. I didn’t breathe for a few seconds, as I tried to keep my eyes focused on the big screen. Slowly, I relaxed and let my fingers curl into his. They fit perfectly.
“Forty years later, that’s how we go to sleep each night: holding hands. I don’t remember exactly when we started this ritual, but it’s one I cherish.
“A study of how human touch affects neural stress release indicated that married women who hold their husband’s hand feel instant relief from extremely stressful situations.
“Tom DeMaio, a clinical psychologist in Charlottesville, North Carolina, says that he often recommends that couples hold hands during an argument. ‘It keeps them connected when they are trying to work things out during tough times,’ he says. Sounds like a plan to me.
“Real. That’s how I feel when Barry and I hold hands. Sometimes I can’t even tell where his hand ends and mine begins. We are one, as God meant us to be.” (From the article, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”)
A Small But Powerful Thing
See? It works… it works for them and it works for us. If you’ve stopped holding each other’s hands, try it again. It’s a small thing, but powerful. Why should we stop doing those small things just because we’re married. Familiarity should not usher in laziness in continuing the romance.
You may even stay home and play a card or board game together. But for a different spin on this idea, Christian Marriage Today has some suggestions, which you can read:
• FREE CHRISTIAN GAMES FOR COUPLES
And then there are more romantic ideas posted in an article featured on the web site for Ezinearticles.com, which we encourage you to read:
•MARRIAGE TIPS: Fifteen Ways to Say “I Love You in 3 Minutes or Less
Another source for ideas could be:
• THE JOY OF “ONE FLESH” ROMANTIC IDEAS
We don’t know what you think about the above ideas given, but you can’t say you don’t have a lot of ideas to choose from! (And we hope you did, and will again in the future.)
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
If you have a comment or additional romantic ideas and tips, please “Join the Discussion” below.
More from Marriage Missions
Filed under: Romantic Ideas
4 responses to “Romantic Ideas for the Romantically Challenged”
(USA) Excellent resources – thank you for providing them. We are committed to helping marriages grow strong in order to glorify God by how we love and treat each other. Your site is full of great ideas to spur us on. Thank you so much! Our blog is http://theromanticvineyard.wordpress.com
(SOUTH AFRICA) This is so powerful and brilliant. I have shared this with my two grown uo daughters -one is married and the other one is about to be married soon. This will really empower them as it is difficult as a parent to sit with them and talk them through some of life’s real aspects that are relationship oriented.
(USA) Those are all great links! Here’s a site that gives step-by-step directions for setting up romantic ideas: http://www.TheRomanticallyChallenged.com
(TANZANIA) It’s quite good ideas and I really love it.