When I was ten, I was my mother’s best friend. Why? Because she had decided to divorce my father and she needed an ally. And who would be better than her only daughter? I did have two younger brothers, but those were times when boys’ allegiance belonged to the father Read More…
I’ve come to envy young children going through a divorce. Everyone worries about them. They are sent to psychologists to get the help they need, but the adult child’s grief isn’t taken as seriously. Many of our parents stayed together because we’d be more mature once we headed off to Read More…
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others“ (Philippians 2:4). After my husband and I first reconciled, my daughter Laura walked in the door one day dancing. “I heard a new song on the radio by Shania Twain. It should Read More…
There are a lot of myths concerning divorce that we can convince ourselves are true, when we see something we think should happen. And that can be true of divorce and remarriage myths and how they affect children. Tragically, many who are reading this article find themselves in marital situations Read More…
“Many people imagine that the hardest time for children of divorce is the moment when their parents first part. That moment is hard, but it is only the beginning. The division and restructuring of childhood that immediately follow, and which continue up to and beyond the point the child leaves Read More…
There are many reasons why couples separate and divorce. Sometimes one of the partners doesn’t have a say in the matter. That is because of the “No Fault” Divorce laws that have been enacted in many parts of the world. The separation and then divorce is forced upon them even Read More…
When divorce comes into the picture and children are involved, it’s only natural that the children will have a lot of questions. They will also be wrestling with a lot of mixed feelings. And that’s especially true because … they’re children! They don’t have the same reasoning skills as adults. Read More…
Can children of divorce love both of their parents without paying a price? Many children have told me they keep their feelings about their “away parent” secret. They feel like they are children caught in the middle of two warring sides. “It’s hard to know what to say to Mom. Read More…
For divorced parents trying to minimize the effect on their children, the news is bad. Author Elizabeth Marquardt’s groundbreaking national study of adult children of divorce (ages 18-35) concludes that there are no such things as good divorces. While good splits are better than bitter ones are, the best divorces Read More…
Most of us from divorced families do not see ourselves as “damaged goods.” But neither are we willing to be held up as convenient proof that kids don’t need both parents. None-the-less, children are deeply shaped by divorce. For years, our national debate about divorce has focused on badly damaged Read More…
