When divorce comes into the picture and children are involved, it’s only natural that the children will have a lot of questions. They will also be wrestling with a lot of mixed feelings. And that’s especially true because … they’re children! They don’t have the same reasoning skills as adults.
Let’s face it:
“The children of divorce are handed a really big job. When parents are married, it’s their job to do the hard work of making sense of your different values, your different beliefs, your different backgrounds. When they get divorced that job doesn’t go away. It just gets handed to their child instead, who is 4 or 8 or 12 years old. Their child is and always will be, throughout their childhood, looking to their mom and dad as the first and most important role models for their own moral and spiritual formation.
“The child is wrestling with the differences that the child sees in each of their worlds. And the conflict that used to be between the parents has now gotten transferred to the child’s inner life. And it’s within the child’s own life in a very lonely, overwhelming way that the child is trying to confront these big questions. It’s the distinctive experience of the child of divorce.” (Elizabeth Marquardt, from the Family Life Today broadcast, “The Emotional Hurdles of Living Through a Divorce”)
What Children of Divorce are Really Thinking
Perhaps you are considering divorce. You may want to know what some of the questions are that your children will be wrestling with. Or maybe you’re trying to help a child of divorce. If so, there is an article written by Angela Elwell Hunt we’d like for you to read. We believe it will give you some great insight.
Please prayerfully read this article:
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Separation and Divorce