This is a short intro to a long, involved, heart-breaking subject. But we came across an article written by relationship expert, Michele Weiner Davis, which we think you may benefit from reading. It concerns things you need to know about affairs.
There are a lot of misconceptions, as it pertains to extramarital affairs, betrayal, infidelity —whatever you want to call it. But it all comes down to one marital “partner” cheating on the other. They promise faithfulness in the wedding vows, but keep breaking them when he or she decides to do so.
So much for promises!!!
For those of you who are struggling because of this horrible betrayal, the following is a link to Michele’s blog. Please click onto the web site link to read:
• TEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AFFAIRS
Additionally, Concerning Affairs:
The following linked article goes on to briefly explain more. It’s posted on the Beyond Affairs web site. After reading this article, you may want to look around their web site to learn more. They have a lot of articles, which may help you, as well. First, please click onto:
• MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS
Beyond what you have learned thus far, the following is another article you may benefit from prayerfully reading, which is posted on the Christian Marriage Today web site. Again, you may want to read additional articles, which they offer. They have some good ones:
• SURVIVING INFIDELITY:
3 Things You Must Know If You Are Surviving an Affair
We’re so sorry if you find yourself dealing with infidelity, which has been inflicted upon you. Our hearts to go out to you.
Please know we care and are “asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:9-10)
“Even in the darkness light dawns for the upright.” (Psalm 112:4)
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Emotional & Physical Affair Surviving Infidelity
38 responses to “Things You Need to Know About Affairs”
My husband of 15 years told me in November of last year that he had an affair and that it is over and he just wants his life back. Well that was a blow to say the least. Totally shocking and devastating. Turns out the affair was with his secretary and that it has been going on for 5 + years.
I recently found some texts between them that still confesses his love for her but she cannot work for him anymore. He has offered to subsidize her until she gets on her feet and into a new job. He also told her it is not about me his wife it is because he loves his children so much. I am hurt, scared and unsure of how to proceed. What should I do?
I have been immersed in the Holy Spirit with Bible study, friends, 12 step program. Never having been sexually faithful to our marriage, my husband was totally dedicated to our family. He was raised a lonely only child in an at times violent, military family. He was sexually abused by his mother at age 9 for an entire year in his father’s absence.
He is extremely intelligent, gentle, fun, musically talented, academically gifted, and trained professionally. He has served decades in military reserve. His gift of secrecy was compounded by a split in his personality due to the severe abuse. Because of God and prayer I have been able to survive and finally we were together lead out of this deadlock of the devil.
Please know how important it is to keep on praying and praising Holy Spirit. The devil is doing pushups in the other room when you are such a good person and if you become overconfident non-humble, and non-vigilant you will slide into his camp. Isn’t The Holy Spirit WONDERFUL?!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you SuAn, for sharing this. I praise God for your faithfulness, despite the hardships. I also praise God that you saw the good in your husband when he probably saw that he was tainted. But that’s not God’s view of him. He is not defined by the abuses done to him. He is all those good things you mentioned and more, I’m sure. I rejoice with you and your husband that you are celebrating your marriage and are shaming the enemy of our faith. Keep celebrating, and shaming. I’m proud of you and cheer you on. May the Lord give you strength, insight, discernment, and victory over any hurts that come your way. And may your marriage be blessed abundantly!
I have just recently found out my husband was having an affair. Also that there is a child out of this affair. To top it off this woman is our oldest daughter’s age. I have never felt so much pain in all of my life. It’s been 2 weeks since I found this out. And I still feel so much pain; it hurts so bad that I feel like I can’t breathe!
He says he wants to stay married to me and work things out. And I have always loved my husband so much .But sometimes knowing that there is a child just kills me inside. I don’t know what to do or how to feel; I just feel so numb inside, I find myself trying to smile and put on a happy front for our children and grandchildren. But behind closed doors when no one’s around I feel my whole world crumbling beneath me.
The feeling of betrayal, and disrespect overcomes me. The lies cut deeply like a knife. I have agreed to try and work things out. But I just am not sure where to start, where do we go from here?
I see this one is a few months old with no replies. 1st I am very sorry, you have to be devastated to your core. Husband said: “”He says he wants to stay married to me and work things out”” well, that is good and all but he is one cheating. Easy for him, he was the one out having fun. Where is this girl? There has to be 100% separation from her. Since there is a child involved, there is a tie back to her. Try to work things out, but he has to stay away from this girl. He has to be 100% accountable for all his time.
This may not be the answer you may get from someone else, but it is hard facts.
I have been married for 19 years with four beautiful children. But my husband has consistently cheated and anytime I confront him he will apologize and before I know he is found in another one. I have discovered two relationships in two years. The recent one was a text he sent to me mistakenly and thought he sent to his mistress.
I am a devout Christian and I have forgiven him as my Bible teaches me. But I am really devastated and I see my husband as a different person and I really find it difficult to trust him. I now live in so much uncertainty because I do not know if he has stopped seeing these women or not. I find it difficult to trust because severally he has apologized and as soon as I start building trust he goes back.
I am really troubled because I do not want a broken home because of my children but things are not the same. I just can’t commit my whole heart to this man again. Please, what help can you give me?