We can think we know what it would be like for our children to live through divorce. But it’s entirely different to actually listen to and/or read what children of divorce have experienced.
If you are considering getting a divorce we encourage you to read what some of these adults have to say concerning their growing up years in a divorced home.
Experiences of Children of Divorce
Their testimonies can be quite enlightening to better understand what your child could experience. May the eyes of your heart truly hear what God is saying to you.
If you are the child of divorce, you may be able to relate to what is written below. It could be helpful for you to share some of your thoughts afterward in the Comment Section. We pray God will empower you to work through whatever issues you have. And may you help others to do the same.
If you are already divorced and there is no possibility of reconciliation, please know that in posting this article we do not want to add to your hurt. We truly are sorry for the pain you are experiencing. We never want to add to someone’s pain. Instead, we want to participate with God in shedding more of His redeeming light upon those who need it.
Please read the following testimonies. Use them to pray through to help your children overcome obstacles they are experiencing. Many of them could be similar to the ones that are written below. May God help you in this mission.
Letter Concerning Children of Divorce
The following letter was written to Diane Sollee, the founder and Director of Smart Marriages from someone who has lived through such an experience. It’s something that we all should pay attention to:
I have to comment on the subject of children of divorce. No matter how many “rough spots” my husband and I have encountered (the normal marriage stuff) I made a decision long ago that once we brought kids into the world divorce was a taboo word. Above all, I would never let these little creatures that I adore so much go through what I went through. This included parent’s multiple ex’s, remarriages, too many step-siblings to count and basically the loss of a family.
Although my parents divorced 40 years ago when I was 10 it still affects me today. I have no memories of a happy family growing up. There was no getting to know extended family and so on. However, my husband who is from a HUGE intact family full of love and closeness serves as a contrast to what I missed.
Fortunately my kids are very close to them. I wish more people would come out and acknowledge the harm to children when parents have a bitter divorce. I am sure this is why I am so pro-marriage.
Yesterday I had a couple with five children meet with me the first time. They told me that two other therapists told them they should divorce (which I find appalling). Instead, we focused on strengths and reasons to stay married after 21 years.
We also of course discussed the hard issues they need to fix. But they left my office very pleased and hopeful.
If parents could put children first, divorce rates would go waaaaaaaaay down!
— ALSO —
The following article contains the extensive testimony (both positive and negative) of someone who grew up in a divorced home and a step child situation. Plus, you might find it helpful to read the responses to what was written afterward from others who as children, lived in divorced homes. Please read this National Marriage Institute article:
— AND —
From the ministry of Familylife.com the following article gives another perspective on this issue:
If you have additional tips you can share, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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Filed under: Separation and Divorce