Facebook Marriage Quotes – Page 20

This document is filled with the marriage quotes we’ve posted on our Marriage Missions Facebook Page. This is the 20th page of quotes that we’ve created with quotes from different “marriage experts” giving marriage tips. You can use these quotes in a variety of ways:

• A church, ministry, counseling organization, or an individual can use them to share on their Facebook site.

• You can use these quotes as points of discussion in marriage classes, mentoring, counseling, or coaching situations.

• Couples or individuals can use these quotes to discuss or consider the issues raised. It helps to pray that the the Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor, to speaks further through them.

They make great discussion points for those couples who want to use them for conversation starters for a 22 Minute Date. We put these quotes into “bite sized pieces” to make them easier to digest and use for conversation. Just don’t allow yourselves to get into heated arguments as you discuss these quotes.

The point in sharing these marriage tips is to build marital relationship bridges. It is not so that you construct walls of contention, causing a breakdown of communication. You can constructively disagree with these tips and with each other, and still learn more about each other and grow closer together, in the process.

It is our sincere hope that the tips below will help marriage.

As you read them, please consider:

1.  Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

2.  Do you have further thoughts on the issue to apply personally or as a general rule? (If you’re reading them with someone else, please share.)

3.  Do any scriptures come to mind, which apply to the marriage tip given? (If so, please share.)

The following are quotes to note for your use. Each paragraph we were able to glean stands on its own —for your knowledge.

Please Read:

• “Quit kidding yourself. Understand the tremendous capacity of every human being to deceive him or herself when not connected to God. Know that, once you start making excuses for wrong behavior, each excuse will sound more plausible, and you’ll sink deeper and deeper into sin and ruin. Admit that you can’t trust your own self apart from God, and decide to stay close to Him.” (Jerry Jenkins)

• “We should satisfy our spouses whenever we can but we also need the freedom to sometimes issue rain checks. There are times when it simply won’t work. That isn’t happy news, but it’s real. All rain checks should be accompanied with a pleasant promise of better times to come. Smart love, in marriage, honors those promises as soon as they can.” (William L. Coleman)

• “Leave some sticky notes around for your husband [or wife] to find. Write a brief encouragement, a small prayer, a cool quote, or a sexy invitation. You could leave a trail of them. You could make them into coupons for items or activities that he [or she] would like. Have fun with those stickies!” (Lori Byerly) “You can stroke people with words.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

• A pastor once gave us some wonderful pre-marriage advice. He said, ‘One of the main things married couples argue about is money —the lack of it. If you find yourselves arguing about it, stop right then. When it gets to that point it’s already too late to solve the problem by fighting about it. Instead, sit down and start working on solutions to solve the problem at hand. (Cindy Wright)

Here are some more to read:

• “…Conflict, which marriage uncovers is essentially the same: It’s the tension between the need for dependence and for independence, between the urge toward cooperation and the opposite urge toward self-sufficiency. Even to people who’ve dreamed for years about getting married, marriage is still an invasion of privacy. No one has been married without being surprised at the intensity of this invasion.” (Mike Mason)

• “Remember that, with your words, you’re teaching your kids how to speak to others (especially their future spouse). … Seek to honor your spouse and children by the way you speak about them to others.” Also, “remember that the way you are relating to each other is creating a blueprint for your kids.” (Tony Dungy)

• “Unplug your devices when you’ve got some intentional one-on-one time together and concentrate on one another. Have a good conversation, hold hands, go dancing, play a game–if even just for a little while. Have fun doing things you can’t do with a phone in your hand! Resist the urge to check your email, text messages, or social media. Just be in the moment with your spouse.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

More Quotes:

• “A picture speaks a thousand words and is a fun way of catching up with your spouse at the end of the day. Snap photos of things throughout your day that are easier shown than said. Capture and share anything from a work event moment to a funny street sign you saw!” (Tip from Focus on the Family, Canada)

• “One of the easiest ways to reduce misunderstandings and communication friction is to share only a few thoughts with your spouse and then allow him or her to repeat back what he/she thinks you said, much as would happen when you place an order at a fast food drive-through. This method will also improve your listening skills.” (Gary Smalley)

• “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” (Stephen R. Covey) “He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.” (Proverbs 18:15) “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.” (Proverbs 19:20)

• Treat your spouse like they matter. “Greet your mate when he or she arrives home; don’t just call hello from another room. Stop what you’re doing, go to the door, and initiate contact. Smile, offer a hug, a kiss or a touch, and express in words, ‘I’m glad to see you!'” (David and Teresa Ferguson) If you’d give strangers the priority of greeting them at the door in friendly ways, why shouldn’t you do this for your spouse?

Even More Quotes:

• “The presence of God through His son, Jesus Christ, is what every marriage needs. If you let Him, God will give you the relationship you’ve always longed to experience. Yours can become a marriage after God’s own heart. He will take a good marriage and make it great. He will take a struggling marriage and get it back on track. He will take a dead marriage and bring it back to life. (David Clarke)

• “People say love doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend renewing it daily.” (Sheila Wray Gregoire) Keep in mind what Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you…” “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another…”

• “Because life invariably tends toward somberness and seriousness, we need more laughter in our homes. Valerie Bell writes, ‘Shared laughter is like family glue.’ It’s the stuff of marriage and family well-being and ‘all-is-well’ thoughts. It brings us together as few other things can.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)

• “Remember that infidelity doesn’t always include sex. Emotional infidelity can breach marital trust and become as debilitating your marriage and physical adultery. If you are sharing emotional closeness with someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse in any arena, STOP!” (From Forever Families article)

• “Different isn’t wrong; it’s just different. We marry one another because we’re different, and we divorce each other because we’re different. Here’s the key—your spouse is God’s added dimension to your life.” (Dennis Rainey)

Facebook Quotes to Discuss:

• “Practice random acts of kindness together. You will bless the lives of other people, and you’ll also strengthen your own marriage by working together. You will also discover how blessed you are. (Mary Ann Romans)

• “Isolation is a subtle killer of relationships. Genesis 2:24 gives us a prescription from Scripture: Leave, cleave, and become one. The enemy of our souls does not want a husband and wife to be one. Instead, he wants to divide us. In John 17, Jesus prayed for the church to be one. He realized that when we’re in isolation, we can be convinced of anything. Isolation kills relationships.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “When was the last time you spoke words of affirmation to your spouse? Over time, it may not come to mind as readily as it did early in your relationship. Intentional affirmation will not only encourage your spouse, but also strengthen those bonds of affection. Tell your spouse what you love and admire about them today!” (Tip from Focus on the Family – Canada)

• “It’s possible to be married to someone for 35 years and still not know them. That is because you never take the time to explore the deep recesses of your spouse’s heart. It’s odd to think you could be married to someone and yet not know them. But time living in the same house together doesn’t equal really knowing each other. Life has a way of sliding us apart if we don’t make the effort to stay connected.” (Dr. David Jeremiah)

Even More Quotes to Discuss:

• “Beware of bitterness. Bitterness quenches the fires of romance. Keep short accounts and ask forgiveness when you fail or if you have become bitter (See: Ephesians 4:26-27). (Dennis Rainey)

• “How you deal with conflicts is what matters in a happy marriage. You have to fight fair. Stay calm. You cannot be at problem-solving best when you’re angry. Come back to the situation when you’re not and you can have a whole new perspective. Also, pick your battles. You can’t have a conflict over everything. We call it ‘kitchen sinking’ —bringing up things that happened 5, 10 years ago.” (Dr Terri Orbuch)

• “Protect your marriage through boundaries in the workplace. If ever a situation needed protective walls firmly entrenched around it to prevent infidelity, the workplace is it. Such protection requires predetermined decisions. The practices of establishing an invisible wall and refraining from personal contact and conversations with others of the opposite sex are utterly critical.” (Judy Star)

• “With your spouse, come up with a code word or acronym that’ll be your private way of expressing love to each other. For example, I.L.Y.M. could be an acronym for “I love you more.” Plant this code word in random spots for your spouse to find. Try writing it on sticky notes around the house, in the snow in the yard or forming the letters from toothpicks on your kitchen table!” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

Facebook Quotes to Discuss:

• “It’s been said that we ought not to speak hard words to someone until we have at least prayed for that person and at best wept for that individual. Don’t pummel your spouse (or anyone else) with raw truth. Such bluntness can be a very thinly veiled form of verbal abuse. Wrap your words in compassion and gentleness. Remember the Golden Rule here!” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)

• For you AND your spouse: “Make it a good morning. Morning’s first moments set the tone for the entire day. So whether you’re an early bird or a night owl, muster a smile and make your waking words to your spouse count!” (Tip from Focus on the Family – Canada)

• “In marriage you have become one flesh. If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your spouse, you’re living against yourself and destroying your joy. But if you devote yourself with all your heart to the holy joy of your spouse, you will also be living for your joy and making a marriage after the image of Christ and His church.” (John Piper)

More Quotes:

• “Make friendship an essential part of your marriage. Love, passion and commitment are all important in creating a marital union that will withstand the test of time. Enjoy every moment of it that is possible. The best way to do that is to build a marriage with friendship as one of its strongest pillars.” (Fawn Weaver)

• “Most of us don’t like being wrong, so we often shut off our ears. We keep arguing without hearing our spouse’s point of view. Instead, try listening first to avoid jumping to conclusions. Really consider what your mate is saying. It’ll take humility and self-control, but doing so will help your spouse feel loved and understood. Take the time to really hear them out.” (Tip from Focus on the Family, Canada)

• “Treat your spouse as your most important team member —on a team for 2. Make it a habit to discuss what he (she) wants to do before agreeing to that weeknight dinner at your sister’s, or a family vacation with your parents. Let your family know that you’ll see if both of your schedules work. …If you make a decision together, defend the decision together.” -Sara Horn

• “Half of a conversation is nonverbal, reports psychology studies. Use physical signs to show your spouse that you’re listening intently. For example, give their hand a gentle squeeze. Also, face them when they speak and lean forward slightly. These are signs that you’re interested and receptive to what they’re saying.” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

Here are more:

• “Young love is when you love someone because of what they do right. Mature love is when you love someone in spite of what they do wrong.” (Mark Goulston) “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

• “Marriage is a stage on which real love, the kind the apostle Paul described as the greatest virtue, can be enacted for the world to see: the kind of love that enables us to endure wrong with patience, to resist evil, to enjoy the good things with gusto, to give richly of ourselves with humility, and to nourish another’s soul with long-suffering.” (Dr Larry Crabb)

• “End each day with prayer. Pray as a couple after getting into your bed. Give thanks for the day, pray for tomorrow and lift up any concerns or worries. Use this time to ask God to continue to strengthen your marriage” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

• “Why not leave a starting post it note (where your spouse will find it) with a clue? That one leads to another post it note and a clue …that leads to another. This eventually leads to something he would enjoy. It might be dinner on the patio (favorite meal served under romantic lighting), or you waiting in bed. It could be a gift, perhaps something he [she] wants that he [she] recently mentioned.” (Lori Byerly)

Quotes for You:

• “Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” (F. Burton Howard)

• “Make your marriage bed your priority. Exhaustion is a great zapper of passion. In this on-the-go, always-plugged-in culture, our schedules are packed. The result is we have little time and energy to give, or receive. Fatigue does not fuel passion. Am I suggesting that you should write down ‘sex’ on your calendar? You decide. But some of you just need to say NO to some good things and go to bed early.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “As we attempt to open our spouse’s spirit, our body language, muscles, facial expressions, and tone of voice must become soft, gentle, and caring. By doing this, we’re saying that he or she is valuable, that we know something is wrong, and that we’re open to listen.” (Gary Smalley)

• “A famous European psychiatrist was asked for a one single key word for marriage. His answer: ‘Surrender.’ Relax. Lay down your arms. Die a little inside. Hear the Lord Jesus, approaching the cross. He is saying, ‘The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’ (John 12:25)” (Anne Ortlund)

Facebook Quotes to Discuss:

• “Get away with each other as often as possible. A nice couples vacation doesn’t chase away realities, but it does give the necessary refueling to deal with what’s in your marriage and life. So get away, and forget about problems for a week. Admire God’s supernatural power in nature on a beach, an island, a stream, a mountain or even a bustling city. Then watch Him refuel your marriage.” (Edward Lee)

• “Wise husbands and wives will take time to practice small acts of touching: Hold hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate’s shoulders for a moment, taking the time to gently hold your spouse at the door on your way out. These small but important acts can work like ‘super-bloom’ to a plant and green out a relationship.” (Gary Smalley)

• “Don’t let the Internet, social media, or working at the church keep you from praying together. It’s easy to get busy—we all have a lot going on in our lives. But don’t get so busy that you can’t make the time to pray together with your spouse. Avoid living independently of one another. God gave you your spouse, and your marriage is the single most important relationship you have on this earth.” (Dennis Rainey)

• Most troubled “marriages aren’t healed with big things; they’re healed with small things done every day. They aren’t healed by doing new things; they’re healed by doing old things we used to do and quit doing somewhere along the way. If we set aside our ego for a little while, beneath all of our hiding, pretending, protecting, defending, accusing and criticizing, there’s a voice whispering the answer.” (Dr Kelly Flanagan)

Quotes to Note:

• “Mature love is described as a stage of mutual interdependence, accepting the challenge of creating a good marriage. It’s not a matter of finding the right person —but rather BEING the right person. Flexibility is also important —to have the ability to recognize what isn’t working. Then find other ways of dealing with problems. Through it all, you need to be solidly committed to your mate.” (Whiteman and Bartlett)

• “Be patient with your spouse. Remember, the Christian life is the process of becoming like Christ. This area of married love and commitment demands that we are continually growing and learning about one another. (See 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15.) “… Be patient. …See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “Two sayings that guide: ‘what you are at home, is what you are,’ and ‘don’t give away to others what you have not first given away at home.'” (Elizabeth George) Make sure those you say you love the most are not put off to the side by things and people who shouldn’t use up so much of your time and energy. Love and show love to your God, your spouse and your family above all others!

• “An hour on Sunday afternoon or evening is a good time to look back at the previous week (to evaluate, to celebrate successes, to learn from mistakes). Also look ahead at what’s looming. Some (with older children), choose to make this a ‘family conference’ where everyone brings his/her personal calendar. The goal is to make sure everyone’s on the same page.” (From the book, Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)

Quotes to Note:

• “If your marriage has been neglected, you aren’t going to be able to rush the course correction. Like drops of water filling a bucket, the slow dripping of neglect will eventually be a heavy load. So, dump it out and begin investing drops of attention, intimacy and kindness instead. Day after day, invest in your spouse and the health of your relationship. Over time you’ll reap the sweet, lasting effects.” (Priscilla Shirer)

• “Stop living separate marital agendas. It’s okay to have separate identities, even encouraged. It’s okay to have separate interests. It keeps things interesting. But it’s not okay to have separate agendas. The agenda should be two very different people blending those differences into one. When that’s not happening, the strength of the marriage will slowly—or quickly—fade.” (Ron Edmonson)

• “Make requests not complaints. Remember at the end of a request you may get what you asked for. At the end of a complaint all you get is an argument.” (Maggie Reyes)

• Gardening is work…”Sort of like life and marriage. Obligations, opportunities and whatnot spring up everywhere. It takes thoughtful work to keep your life and marriage on track. Enjoy the good; stay focused on the important stuff. Practice saying ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ Use appropriately to keep your life/marriage garden neat and functional.” (Lori Byerly) “In every single thing you do, you’re choosing a direction.” (Dr. Kathleen Hall)

• “Focus on and appreciate who your spouse IS, instead of focusing on who they are not. God has created your spouse as an amazing individual. Embrace who they are. Even if there are some things that bother you. Let them go.” (Kate from One Flesh Marriage Ministry)

Additional Quotes:

• “We’re imperfect people trying to love another imperfect person in an imperfect world. Therefore, we have imperfect marriages. The greatest moment of your marriage is when you realize you don’t have all the answers. It’s when you throw your hands up in the air and say to God, ‘Okay, we’ll do it your way! Lead on.’” (Bill and Pam Farrell)

• “Do you and your spouse have any rituals, like kissing each other goodbye. Perhaps it’s saying, ‘I love you’ before you go to sleep or having breakfast in bed on Saturday mornings [or another time]? Whatever special traditions you have, keep them alive by practicing them regularly. Celebrate these rituals that play a fun role in your relationship.” (From Focus on the Family, Canada)

• To resolve conflict you’re having with your spouse, timing is important. “Don’t bring issues up at night. Choose the right time. This would not be a time when either of you are tired, or hungry. Don’t do it when the kids are around, or when you’ve got a deadline at work. Those are not best times.” (Dr Terri Orbuch)

• “Re-falling in love after a painful experience in marriage is possible. But that can only happen if the couple resolves to elevate their marriage covenant beyond romance and affection. The covenant that God has ‘acted as a witness’ never changes. It is unlike romance and affection, which exists in one instance and fades in the next moment.” (Phillip Mwaura) Keep the faith and keep the covenant you made with your spouse and God!

More Quotes for You:

• Look for little and big ways your spouse has blessed you. Don’t take his or her love and care for granted. Make sure your spouse knows how much you appreciate even the everyday things he or she does that makes you feel loved. Remember that we are told to “encourage one another and build one another up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11) “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” (Hebrews 10:24)

• “If they’re breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him – Luke 17:3-4.” (Steve Arterburn)

• “Christian marriage does not exist just for the benefit of the 2 people in the marriage. It’s for the benefit of the world, that God would be glorified in it. The main purpose of marriage is to glorify Christ as we participate in the mission of God.” (Tim Suttle)

• In your marriage remember: “Communication is the life-giver of a relationship. Simply put, find a way to get five, ten, fifteen minutes together to talk every day. Turn the TV off, set the computer aside, take a walk, and just talk with each other. ” (Dennis Rainey)

• “No relationship is all sunshine. But once you’ve learned how to play in the rain, you’ve discovered the secret to surviving passing storms together.” (Fawn Weaver)

Quotes to Discuss:

• “A social gathering or event is easy fuel for fantastic conversations! After an activity, debrief with your spouse by having a ‘This or that?’ question time. Ask your spouse a series of questions about what they enjoyed about the gathering, and provide them 2 options. For example, ask, ‘Which did you like better, the entree or dessert?’ You can also ask, ‘Did you have more fun chatting with friends or playing the group game?'” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

• “Your spouse is not your enemy. Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood. Have you ever looked at your spouse in the morning as your enemy, asking God, ‘What did you do in bringing us together?’ I have. But the Scriptures tell us, your mate is not your enemy.” (Dennis Rainey)

• Find ways to show love to your spouse when you’re home and when you’re traveling without them. “Show your spouse you’re thinking of them, even when you’re traveling far from home. Prepare for your trip by hiding small, wrapped gifts around the house with a thoughtful note attached to each one. Phone your spouse every few days and guide them to a hidden gift.” (Tip from Focus on the Family -Canada)

•  “Being a faithful and loving spouse relies upon our choice to be faithful to God. When marriage is viewed as a calling or ministry, hope resurfaces in the midst of broken dreams. The hope that is held is no longer that the frog will turn into Prince Charming. There’s instead hope that God can be glorified through what seems like a tragedy.” (Julianna Slattery)

Additional Quotes:

• “Marriage should resemble a pair of shears. They are joined together in such a way that they cannot be separated. They often move in opposite directions, yet they punish anyone who comes between them.” (Norman Wright)

• “Do you want to energize your marriage? Then upgrade your communication skills. Recently we upgraded our computers. It was a little scary, but now, there’s no way we’d go back to the old programs. Is your communication like our old computer programs? It works but it could be better? Then upgrade it! You do that by learning new communication skills and retooling the ones you already know! (David and Claudia Arp)

• “You don’t marry one person; you marry three. You marry the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they’re going to become as a result of being married to you.” (Richard Needham) Consider… what’s it like to be married to you?

• “Yell less, walk more. Want to tell your spouse something, but they’re in the other room? Shouting loud enough for them to hear you isn’t the answer. Instead of yelling to your husband or wife, walk to the room they’re in so you can speak calmly. Bonus: you’ll get some exercise and maybe a quick kiss from your sweetie, too! (Focus on the Family Canada)

• “When you feel uncomfortable with the way your spouse is doing something–particularly if it was done differently in your past–try to focus on the value of their efforts. Your spouse loves you and is [at least] trying. Being critical will not produce a better effort next time; it’s more likely to create a less satisfying result, if a repeat attempt is made at all. Focus on what you’re creating together, not what you’ve left behind.” (Les and Leslie Parrot)

More Quotes From Facebook:

• “A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.” (Fawn Weaver) “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone…”

• “When the world looks in on a marriage—in which the love of Christ is being passed back and forth, where two selfless people are attempting to reflect Jesus Christ—it sees something more beautiful than it ever thought could exist. It’s a gift to see a Christ-centered marriage.” (Tim Savage) Please do your part to build your gift into something beautiful for the world to see.

• In your marriage relationship, realize that “touch has the power to instantly calm, reassure, transfer courage, and stabilize a situation beginning to spin out of control. With touch, we push back the threatening shadows of anger, bitterness, loneliness, and insecurity.” (Gary and Norma Smalley)

• “Have a laughing challenge date night. Each of you pick You Tube videos that you think are funny. Take turns showing them to each other. See which one makes you laugh the most and that will determine the winner. The most important thing is to have fun together in your very own laughing place.” (Debi Walter)

Additional Facebook Quotes:

• “‘K.I.S.S.’ …Keeping things simple for you and your spouse may mean having casual get-togethers with friends instead of full-course dinners. It can mean just spending time together instead of running hither and yon. Or it can mean doing without a lot of ‘stuff’ that needs washing, polishing, or special care.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)

• “Every marriage has bugs, viruses, challenges and shortcomings. As Dr. Henry Ironside is famous for saying, ‘Where there is light there are bugs.’ Successful married couples learn to live with their eyes wide open to the challenges. Plus, they assume they’ll have to remodel their relationship on a regular basis to counteract the natural process of decay.” (Bill and Pam Farrell)

• “Control your thought life. If you entertain a fantasy, you allow desires to drag you away. It’s not wrong to be attracted. Sin occurs when we act on the temptation. James 1:14-15 tells us, ‘But each one is tempted when he is carried away by his own lust. When lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin. And when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” Entertaining temptation results in destruction.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “James 5:16 reminds us, ‘Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.‘ If you want to be healthy, develop a marriage relationship where your spouse has access to the interior of your soul. Maybe you’re struggling with a bad attitude, a sense of rebellion, toying with something you shouldn’t. Bring your spouse into the interior of your soul so that you may be healed.” (Dennis Rainey)

Facebook Quotes to Discuss:

• “Be wise! The tongue, like fire or like dynamite, is an instrument that can be used for great good, or for great evil. Once a word leaves your lips, you can never get it back.” (From “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless) “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)

• “None of us have guarantees of living to old age. Even if all is going well, we could be hours away from ’till death do us part.’ What kind of legacy would your marriage leave behind? If your answer isn’t one you’d want, then thank God there’s still time. Make the most of today, because tomorrow may be too late.” (Debi Walter) “Lord, teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

• “Whenever a career choice arises, pray with your spouse. Ask God to guide your discussions and decisions. Talk to each other about every aspect of the situation. When everything has been discussed and analyzed, practice the art of giving in without giving up. Compromise. Then there won’t be a winner or loser. It will be a win-win situation and your marriage will be strengthened.” (Woods, Hudson, Dall, Lackland)

• Communication tip: Beware of poor reception. Be sure your spouse is ‘tuned-in’ before you make an important announcement or request.” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

Quotes we placed on Facebook:

• “You get more out of your marriage if you invest into it. Make a ‘deposit’ each day with kindness, service and encouragement. You will experience a richer marriage as a result.” (Tip from Focus on the Family, Canada)

• When you and your spouse are conflicting “See The Other People” who are with you. “Consider the time and place. While it can be difficult to hold your fury when you 1st realize you’ve been wronged, wait until you and your partner are alone in a quiet space. If your partner is busy at work, out with friends, or in the midst of a family visit, wait until he/she can speak with you one on one [alone].” (Cherie Barboch)

• “If you want to handle your conflicts in a biblical way you must remember this question: What does God want to teach me in this conflict? Whatever it is, I can learn from it.” (Josh McDowell)

• “Pray without ceasing” with your spouse. “Pray spontaneously as you’re driving, shopping or making dinner. When requests and praises enter your mind, join hands with your spouse and speak them out. These quick prayers help build spiritual connection. That’s true, even for the busiest couple! And spouses who are uncomfortable with long prayer sessions appreciate these informal chats with God.”(Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

• “The next time your spouse starts up a conversation, stop what you’re doing and give your full attention.” Look at your spouse, listen well, and engage without distraction (as much as possible). He’s [She’s] worth it.” (Lori Byerly) “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” (M. Scott Peck)

Additional Quotes:

• “It’s not always practical to get out of the house for a date night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create space for the 2 of you there. Pick out a dinner or activity, order take-out or make dinner, and do date night in. Just remember not to blur the lines too much. Honor your time at home as much you would at any other place.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

• “Plant protective hedges, guarding your heart early, before any type of infidelity problems take root. Know that if you plant hedges in your marriage before you find yourself in a threatening situation, you can prevent many problems. They won’t be as likely to take root. Nip affairs in the bud. Anticipate danger, plan, and plot your escape before you find yourself in a dangerous situation.” (Jerry Jenkins)

• “Gentleness (a willingness to decrease our lectures and increase our tender expressions of love) is a key to marital growth. Tenderness acts like a firebreak to an advancing, angry forest fire.” (Gary Smalley) “Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. At the beginning his words are folly. At the end they are wicked madness—and the fool multiplies words.” (Eccles. 10:12-13).

• “The Bible tells us to treat others, not in the same way they treat us, but the way that we would like to be treated. Someone has to go first —why not you? Let’s purpose to listen for hints as to the needs and wants of our spouses. This is one small way to communicate our love for them that is sure to have a lasting positive impact.” (Debi Walter)

More Quotes:

• “Don’t abandon your expectations. The solution isn’t to expect little or nothing because you would get bored. Don’t abandon your expectations —shift them. On what can you really rely? What would you say is so rock-safe that you could never be disappointed? Aha! You’ve got it! God Himself, in Jesus Christ, is the only safe foundation for a great marriage.” (Anne Ortlund)

• We’re told in the Bible, “Love is patient and kind.” When you’re angry with your spouse, remember that “patience is the ability to keep your shirt on when you’re hot under the collar. (Croft Pentz) ‘An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression’ (Proverbs 29:22).”

• “The old saying is that nothing is as certain as death or taxes. Conflict in marriage is. But we can choose to fight to the bitter end or to a BETTER end. The ability to resolve conflict is an essential ingredient of a healthy marriage.” (Gary Inrig) Choose your battles wisely.

• “Each of us needs to have plans for today, next week and next month. We cannot stumble from day to day waiting to see what pops up. However, neither can we afford to lay up all of our bricks for the distant future. If all of our gratifications are delayed, we end up with a dull, boring now, in favor of an ‘iffy’ tomorrow.” (William L. Coleman)

• “Studies show that simply attending church doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage or divorce-proof a relationship. However, couples who pray together regularly report enjoying the most satisfying marriages of all. The divorce rate for praying couples is less than one percent!” (Cheri Fuller)

Added Quotes:

• “Absolutely no children, pets, friends, or relatives are allowed on a ROMANTIC vacation! This is strictly for you and your spouse. Another no-no is talking about work and worries. And never take along a ‘little work’ to do. How romantic can that be? This is a time for the two of you to be completely absorbed in each other.” (Woods, Hudson, Dall, Lackland)

• “Kind words don’t cost much. [Share them; don’t spare them.] They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured [like your spouse]. They also produce their own image on one’s soul, and a beautiful image it is.” (Blaise Pascal)

• We pray for your marriage: “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ —to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

• “If things have been bad for you two, the benefits of commitment are actually better than ever. ‘Hanging in there’ will help your spouse know your love is real, and your word is good. It shows you care, that you’re growing in stability, and you can be counted on. It will speak that the difficulties are temporary, that better days can be ahead because of your level of commitment.” (Anne Ortlund)

• “Do these phrases sound familiar? ‘You always interrupt me.’ ‘You always put ____ before me.’ ‘You always forget.’ Making absolute accusations to your spouse will get you nowhere fast. ‘Always’ is a word we throw around that must be eliminated from our relationship vocabulary—especially when we’re communicating with our spouse.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

Facebook Quotes:

• “God presents that holiness is the doorway to happiness. By pursuing holiness we arrive at happiness. When we don’t recognize the challenges of marriage that are designed to help us grow in holiness, we undercut our own satisfaction with our marriage. We become frustrated with our marriage because we’re looking for something that God didn’t create marriage to give.” (Gary Thomas)

• “When your husband shares a problem, hug him, and pray for the situation. Pray just a couple of sentences. Then go on with your day. It’s encouraging to have your wife on your team, to know she brings your needs to God. If your man isn’t a believer, hug him and pray silently. Let him know how much he matters to you and that you’re in his corner.” (Lori Byerly) This also applies to a husband praying for his wife.

• “Protect intimacy by avoiding emotional adultery (“friendship” that has progressed too far). When you tell a friend of the opposite sex about your intimate struggles, you’re sharing your soul in a way God intended exclusively for the marriage. Set strict limits about the time you spend with the opposite sex, particularly in work situations. Reserve some subjects for your spouse.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “After you marry, stop wondering if you made the right decision to chose your spouse. It’s time to start doing everything you can to make that the right decision.” (Tip from Focus on the Family, Canada)

Quotes from Facebook:

• Are you being interrupted and embarrassed by your spouse? “In the moment: resist the urge to dig back. When you’re alone, express, without anger, how their dig made you feel. Next steps: forgive. And make sure to show your appreciation for the encouragement. Praise what your spouse DOES give.” (Mandy Houk)

• Keep dating each other. And when you do,”only talk with one another about positive things that spark happiness. Do not allow the news to interrupt your time together, relationship problems, or negativity! Allowing a conversation to take a bad turn can quickly kill the mood of your date. It will also be hard to recover from. Nurture one another and feed your marriage by focusing only on good things for a little while.” (Les and Leslie Parrott)

• “Show your spouse you care for their needs by bumping their requests to the top of your to-do list. Did he ask you to research something online? Does she need you to hang a picture frame? Complete the task as soon as you can! Small labors of love speak volumes about your priorities.” (Tip from Focus on the Family -Canada)

More Facebook Quotes:

• “Perhaps there’s a couple in your church who have weathered lots of storms together. Their marriage is strong and proof that it’s possible to go the distance. They are more in love at age 65 than at age 25. Strike up a relationship. Find out how they do it. Let them mentor you in the art of marriage.” (From the book, “Marriage: Clues for the Clueless)

• “How you manage money within a marriage depends on the skills you develop and the amount of discipline you exercised. One of you may be a saver and the other a spender. You have to work together to make decisions that will affect both of you, and work within those boundaries. Consider how much debt you have, how much income and how much you need to save. FIND A WAY to achieve financial freedom.” (T.D. Jakes)

• When you’re fighting with your spouse, “Keep it private, not public. That’s a legitimate place for seeking wise, spiritual counsel. It’s different than enlisting allies among family and friends. It’s a process that distorts friendship and betrays marital loyalty. When we draw others into the problem, the tendency is for a win-lose mindset to develop. This encourages others to choose up sides.” (Gary Inrig)

• “According to the Bible, marriage is not a human invention. Therefore, we cannot and should not dismiss it, diminish it, or degrade it in any way. It follows also, that as the Designer, God knows best about how marriage can and should work. Maybe fewer marriages would falter and fail, if more participants would relentlessly consult the Creator of marriage.” (Woods, Hudson, Dall, Lackland)

More Facebook Quotes to Discuss:

• “‘Don’t take your partner for granted. That’s like having a garden that you’re not weeding or fertilizing,’ says professor Robert Billingham. ‘You can’t expect it to continue to thrive.’ Let your marriage partner know you appreciate him or her.” (Ann Douglas)

• Strengthen your friendship with each other, and you’ll strengthen your marital bond. Be intentional: “Stay in touch with each other. Be aware of each other’s daily lives to keep up on how your spouse thinks and feels. Have a regular time to talk each day about the simple things of the day. This time could involve talking on the phone or spending 15 minutes each evening holding hands and talking.” (Thomas R. Lee, Ph.D.)

• “Few things are more deadly to marriage than negativity –especially in the form of pessimism. If couples could be given a vaccine against pessimistic thinking we’d see the divorce rate all but drop off. In a sense, you can protect your marriage against a pessimistic virus. All it takes is a little encouragement.” (Les and Leslie Parrott) “So encourage each other and build each other up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

• “It can be easy for couples to lose track of each other. Try setting aside a time where the two of you can check in with how the other is doing. You can do this either once a day or a few times a week. It’s an intentional but simple way you can connect and make sure your marriage is at the forefront of your weekly routine!” (Tip from Focus on the Family Canada)

Additional Quotes to Talk About:

• “St. Francis of Assisi said, ‘Lord, grant that I may seek more to understand then to be understood.’ Can you imagine what would happen in our relationships if we held to this attitude? Most conflicts would quickly dissolve, because most are the result of each person holding to a different assumption.” (Josh McDowell)

• “As a couple, believe God for too much, rather than too little. Remember what A.W. Tozer said. ‘God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity we plan to do the things we can only do by ourselves.’ Life can wear you down. It can wear you out. Disappointment chips away at faith. As a couple, you have to work on this to go to the finish line.” (Dennis Rainey)

• “Sharing a meal is a great catalyst for building marital camaraderie. It often includes laughter, and the sharing of stories. It includes peaceful moments together with no expectations. Stop eating on-the-go, or in front of the TV. Sit down at a fully-dressed dining table, or at a picnic table in a park. Then face each other and experience life together as you eat.” (Robert and Lori Ferguson)

• When marrying, consider: “With your life mate decision, you’re not only marrying a person. You’re determining your future mother-in-law, father-in-law, and your children’s grandparents. Also included, are your children’s other parent, your future nieces, nephews and the rest of your in-laws. You’re also determining where you and your children will spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays for the next 50 plus years.” (Bob Brehl)

More Quotes:

• “A beautiful thing about marital sex is that it’s not actually about the sex. It’s about something much more meaningful. It’s about a constant connection with another human throughout the journey of life. Marital sex is not only about the heat of the moment. It’s about the significance of the day to day. This includes a special look, to a special touch, from an act of service, to an opportunity for selflessness.” (Debra Fileta)

• “Paul writes in Ephesians 4: ‘Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.‘ I’m sure this scripture doesn’t literally mean don’t go to sleep until you’ve completely solved the problem in a way that’s totally acceptable to both of you. What it does mean is that you need to let go of the anger.” (Pastor Mark Gungor)

• Bless your spouse in special ways this week: “Be on the lookout for small tasks you can do to make your spouse’s day a little brighter. Thoughtful ideas include recharging their cell phone, brushing the snow off their car, or putting their towel in the dryer so it’s cozy when they step out of the shower.” (Tip from Focus on the Family – Canada)

• “Does your family see the difference Christ makes when you face a need? What difference does the presence of Jesus Christ make in your life? God wants to reveal Himself to those around you and express His love through your life. He wants your family to see Christ in you each day. There’s a great difference between ‘living the Christian life’ and allowing Christ to live His life through you.” (Blackaby)

Additional Quotes:

• “Watch what you say to your spouse. Even the truth can wound your spouse when it’s spoken in the wrong way or at the wrong time.” (Tony Dungy) “He who guards his lips guards his life. But he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3). “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23).

• “A lot of people ask Rev. Jay Tenney for marriage advice. Although Tenney offers many tips, he said it boils down to two things. – Learn all that you can about how God loves. – Love your husband/wife with that same kind of love as told in 1 Corinthians 13. Imitate it and unleash it in your marriage.” (Susan Passi-Klaus) What do YOU think?

• Research has shown that most of the couples who divorce end their marriages “within the first 5-7 years.” The problem seems to be that eventually, “US has turned to ME. I’m not getting what I need from us. I’m giving way more than I’m getting. Ironically BOTH partners often feel that same way.” (Thomas Whiteman and Thomas Bartlett) So work on the “we” of your marriage to the best of your ability. Pray for wisdom and be intentional in growing your marriage.

• “Words Matter. Labeling your spouse, calling names, and speaking badly about him [or her] to others is not only demeaning but lasting. You can’t retrieve your spoken words. They linger long after they’re no longer being voiced. Be especially careful around kids.” (Priscilla Shirer) You are accountable for every “unwholesome word” spoken, just as your spouse is. Your words DO matter!

Additional Quotes to Note:

• Before you marry, to bring clarity, each of you should write down 10 expectations you have for your marriage. After writing them down (without your fiancé seeing them beforehand), you then talk about them together. It’s ok to have expectations. But it’s good to bring the ones you’re aware of out into the open before marrying. They can be better understood and figured out if they’re even realistic. (Cindy Wright)

• “Are you and your spouse happy to talk to each other? Do you look forward to non-critical conversations such as sitting together for coffee or a sandwich? If you center every conversation on problems, there may not be enough wood in Oregon to keep you going. Bills, repairs, orthodontists and traffic tickets are not the sole topics of great marriages. If each talk is a headache, we soon learn to stop talking.” (William L. Coleman)

• “Marriage is a covenant you make with an imperfect person. Jesus made this clear when He said that a man is to ‘leave’ his parents and ‘cleave’ to his wife. ‘Leave’ is the Hebrew word ‘azab’ meaning to loosen, relinquish, and leave totally. ‘Cleave’ is the Hebrew word ‘dabaq’ meaning to ‘bond, cling, be joined, or fasten together.’ It’s the ultimate superglue to having a permanent union.” (Dale Burke)

• “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.” (Prov. 19:11) “Love must be blind—at least to petty offenses—if it is to grow. We all supply plenty of opportunities for our spouse to find fault. The trick is learning to shut our eyes when we encounter each other’s minor faults. Take inventory of what you appreciate about your spouse. By doing so it re-calibrates your mindset.” (Drs Les and Leslie Parrott)

And Lastly:

• “There’s rarely such a thing as money problems in marriage. That’s what financial expert Ron Blue and his wife, Judy, insist. They say, ‘What looks like money trouble in a marriage is almost always symptomatic of something else. We’re talking about a distorted view of money, and a lack of understanding about the true purpose for marriage. It could be a basic inability to integrate the two and communicate effectively with your spouse about finances.” (Cindy Wright)

• “Apply yourself wholly to the Scriptures, and apply the Scriptures wholly to yourself (and to your marriage).” (Johann A. Bengel) “Prayer Prompt: Ask God to speak to you about your marriage through His Word.” (Lori Byerly)

• “To P.U.S.H. means that you Pray Until Something Happens! When everything seems to go wrong, just P.U.S.H. When the job gets you down, just P.U.S.H. When people (including your spouse) don’t react the way you think they should, just P.U.S.H.  When your money looks funny and the bills are due, just P.U.S.H. When people don’t understand you, just P.U.S.H. PRAY, according to God’s will, UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS!!!” (Anonymous)

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