“Stupidity got me into this mess —why can’t it get me out?” I laughed at that line when I read it. And then I was also reminded of the all too familiar quote, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” Isn’t that “going the stupid route?”
And why is that? Why do we go the “stupid route” expecting things to magically change somehow? It’s probably because we’re challenged in our thinking (at least concerning certain issues).
The Stupid Route
There are a lot of things, in the marriage relationship, in which we can take the wrong road in thinking it will change things. Here’s one stupid route we can fall onto. It’s saying more than we should —thinking the more we say about something, the more logical it sounds.
What I’ve found is that sometimes “less is more.” As we’re told in Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” …Enough said on that one!
And then how about the “thesis” that if we treat our spouse disrespectfully, it will teach him or her a “lesson” and will inspire changes their behavior?
Or we think that if he or she treats us disrespectfully, we can join along in the same type of behavior. We think, surely THAT will smooth things over and put our relationship back in the right direction!
Huh? Really? It may seem like the way to go at the time. But when you really stop to think about it …it goes the way of the stupid route.
What I’ve found is it just escalates matters all the more. You then get caught up in volleying back and forth in being on the offensive and the defensive with each other. You’re trying to WIN somehow. The faulty thinking is in believing that if you’re causing your spouse to lose it’s a winning situation for you. Actually, your marriage relationship loses in that one.
Being Stupid With Words
The Lord recently reminded me of the scripture, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1) For me, that often refers back to Proverbs 10:19. This concerns using too many words. I’ve usually said more than I should have… again, using the stupid route.
It’s not that my husband can’t sometimes paint himself into corners with his words and actions. But the Lord has often impressed upon me, to keep my focus on my own path. I can complicate things quite well without looking at someone else’s walk.
It would be helpful for me (and everyone, really) if Proverbs 2:1-11 is taken to heart (and lived out).
It is written:
“If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
“For the LORD gives wisdom. From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright. He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless. For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair —every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.“
Yep! Doing things God’s way —that’s the path I want to walk upon. There’s nothing stupid about that. Actually, it seems to be pretty stupid to go any other way! Doing things God’s way is the wisest of all.
Lord, may it be so, for me and for those who are so inspired upon reading these words.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this blog.
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