They talk a lot about using “protection” when you have sexual relations with someone (other than your spouse). But what if you are haunted by thoughts of your past? As someone (unknown) once said,
“There is no condom for the brain or the heart. So when you have sex before marriage you’re playing with fire that will most likely burn you at some point in your life… especially in your marriage relationship.”
And tragically a lot of couples are finding this to be true. How do you erase the memories you have of having sex with someone else? And how do you stop playing “the comparison game” when you are making love with your spouse? Plus, how do you deal with the guilt when you realize that you have violated God’s standards?
When you confess and ask the Lord for forgiveness, “God is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,“ but then there’s the matter of forgiving yourself and moving on in life past it. Premarital sex is sin and sin causes problems.
As Brian and Heather Jamison said:
“Premarital sex wounds the sanctity of a heart and, left untreated, can scar a marriage for a lifetime. We speak from experience; our relationship began with a fall. And we have the scars to prove it.”
Brian and Heather have learned a lot that has helped them to deal with this issue. They share what they learned plus the “Four Keys to Reclaiming Intimacy” in the linked article below. I encourage you to read:
“It’s true, you can’t get your virginity back. You’ll never be the person you once were. You can, however, be stronger and wiser than you were before, and more able to resist what you know is wrong.”
The above statement came from Laurel L. Cornell. She knows only too well, how a person can be haunted with memories after having had sex before marriage. But as she says, you can become wiser than before. You can also be stronger than you ever could imagine at this time.
She wrote an article that is posted on the Marriagetrac.com web site that addresses those who are married and those who are not yet married. It is written to women who want to feel clean again and not plagued by feelings and images of the past they want to forget.
I encourage you to read:
On this same issue, below you will find a link to an article written by Christie Mohamed. Christie is a young gal who gives hope to those who have done things they now regret. Plus, she gives insight into ways to deal with it and experience freedom and forgiveness. Please read:
I know this is a lot to take in, as far as all of the reading I’m recommending you do. But please know that this is a journey you are on. It’s one that is different for everyone who has had to deal with this issue. I’m hoping that as you read you will glean from each article some things that God is speaking to you. I pray that you will gain some “ah hah moments” where you’ll think, “I never thought of that before… that really helps.”
The important thing is that you don’t get stuck in continuing to do that, which you know is wrong. Also, don’t get stuck in regrets. They will paralyze you in ways that will cause you NOT to go backwards in your spiritual growth.
To learn a bit more on this please read:
For those of you who are not married, here is something written by Dr Greg and Michael Smalley. It is posted on the Marriagetrac.com web site and is something that would be helpful to read:
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
If you have additional tips to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.