“Is sex before marriage always out? I know we like this rule for teenagers, and young people who aren’t ready to have kids. Of course that makes sense. But what about adults who are more mature, and are responsible?
“How about a Christian couple who are in love with the Lord and each other?
“How about if the sex in done in love and a nice positive setting?
“What if it is only done occasionally and not abused?
“How about if it was a positive experience for both parties?”
These are questions that were asked in an article, which was posted on the Growthtrac.com web site. Unfortunately, the original article is no longer available to read. But we did some digging to find scriptures and articles, which could give insights into these questions and others, which are important to explore.
So first, we’ll give you scriptures that we found, and then we’ll direct you to articles posted on the Internet.
In the Context of Marriage:
The following are scriptures that point out the marital, sexual union that is sanctioned by God:
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” [Notice the word, “wife” in that scripture.]
In Matthew 19:4 it’s recorded that Jesus said:
“‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
We’re told in 1 Corinthians 6:15:
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.'”
1 Corinthians 7:1-5:
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
“For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer. But then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Outside of Marriage:
For sexual relations outside of marriage, the following are the scriptural principles we must follow:
1 Corinthians 6:18:
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body. But the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8:
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality. Each one of you is to know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God. Let no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.
“For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”
In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-10:
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20:
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?”
“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?”
Prayerfully Consider This from God’s Word:
1 Peter 2:11:
“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”
“Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness. Receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”
2 Timothy 2:22
“Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.”
The night is far gone. The day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ. And make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Also, the web site, Got Questions.org can give you further insights into scriptures and additional insights that you might find helpful in answering your questions as you read:
— ALSO —
Below are additional articles, which line up scripturally. They can be helpful to read on this issue of, “Is Sex Before Marriage Always Out?”:
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International compiled this article.
If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.
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