I wrote a Valentine’s Day Insight two weeks ago (titled, What Works for You Two). In it I told how we were going to celebrate it as a married couple. We followed through and did just what we planned. And it actually went even better than we had hoped. The activities were low-key. We wanted the emphasis to be on just being together in an intentional way without a lot of distractions. As the day drew to a close we both remarked how thoroughly enjoyable it was to spend the day, as we did. It was a simple but a fun time.
We went to church —where better to celebrate love, than to spend it worshiping God? And then we got some coffee and sat on a bench in the courtyard of our church. We held hands and talked for a long time, taking turns discussing different questions we each selected from a book that’s loaded with conversation starters. (We have several suggestions for that type of resource, plus articles posted in the Communication Tools topic.)
The Date Continued
We then went home, and together we cooked a delicious meal, ate it joyfully, took a nap :) and played games. Our whole day was filled with talking, laughing, and thoroughly enjoying the fun time spent with one another. This was all done without media, other than romantic music. To some people this may seem dull and uneventful. But to us, it was exactly what we needed and wanted.
When our sons were younger, we spent time with them having fun earlier in the day. And then we found/made the time to spend it as just a couple in the evening. It’s important to do both —to enjoy the family God has given you, but also enjoy just being a married partners.
As I recall the “couple” time we spent on Sunday, I’m reminded of a few quotes that we’ve posted on Facebook. They sum up a lot of what we did and have done that might inspire you too. Here’s a question, and then thoughts afterward for you to consider.
Think About It:
“When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it for 30 minutes? I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another. There is a lifeblood there that can’t be explained, only felt.” (Fawn Weaver)
Then, here’s another one from Fawn Weaver of The Happy Wives Club. It’s something with which we totally agree. It’s something that goes beyond Valentine’s Day, as well:
“Treat your spouse like they’re the most important person in the world. Because they are. No one else has pledged their life to you, or has committed to be with you through the ups and the downs, the good times and the bad, through wealth and poverty. No person experiences your rawest emotions, and greatest flaws more often than your spouse. That alone has earned them a place above all other beings on earth.”
Lastly, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or an ordinary day, please work to:
“Be intentional. Love the one you’re with. Don’t allow technology to grab your attention away from your spouse in ways that are intrusive to your marriage partnership. “Thanks to cell phones, we can always reach out and touch someone. But, is that touch a caress or a slap? When we need them, cell phones can literally be a lifesaver. At other times, they create an unwelcome interruption” (Lynn Jordan).
Simple and Fun or Not, Carve Out the Time
We hope that you will plan fun times that are as elaborate or as simple as you both desire. What’s most important is that you DO carve out the time to be together. Make sure you laugh and grow fun memories that will continue to give you warm feelings about each other. Love doesn’t do well growing on a starvation diet. It needs your attention pointed towards each other in positive ways. That way it keeps growing rather than starving to death.
Please think about this and know that we are praying for your marriages,
Cindy and Steve Wright
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